I Know Who You Are - Raphael Santiago x female reader
Summary: Simon manages to sneak Raphael into the institute for you
Words: 2.1k
Warnings: none really
Notes: I'm falling into a shadowhunters phase oof
Y/N’s POV
As I collapse onto my bed in the Institute, the weight of the day’s revelations presses down on me like a leaden cloak, suffocating and relentless. Tears stream down my cheeks, tracing paths of anguish as the truth echoes relentlessly in my mind, a discordant melody of disbelief and confusion.
Carstairs. Brother Zachariah. My father.
The words, once distant whispers of a past shrouded in mystery, now thunder through my consciousness with the force of a revelation. I clutch at the sheets beneath me, seeking solace in their solidarity as my world trembles on its axis.
Outside my door, Simon’s voice calls out, a lifeline in the storm of emotions, “Open the door Y/N, please let me in.”
The plea in Simon's voice tugs at my heartstrings, a poignant reminder of the bond that binds us together as parabatai. With a heavy sigh, I push myself upright, the weight of guilt settling like a lead weight in the pit of my stomach. Simon knows me better than anyone, his empathy a double-edged sword that cuts through the facade I so desperately cling to.
As Simon’s sigh resonates through the room, a pang of guilt tightens my chest. I can sense his frustration and hurt, his desire to help me, but also his understanding that sometimes, despite our bond, there are wounds too deep for even a parabatai to heal. With a heavy heart, I listen ass his footsteps retreat down the corridor, leaving me alone with my tumultuous thoughts.
Alone in the quiet of my room, I succumb to the weight of my emotions, allowing the tears to flow freely as I sink back onto the bed again. The darkness presses in around me, a suffocating shroud that threatens to consume me whole. Despite my best efforts to push them away, memories of the day's revelations dance behind my closed eyelids, taunting me with their impossible truth. The image of Brother Zachariah, his face a mask of sorrow and regret as he revealed the truth of my lineage, burns bright against the canvas of my mind.
But amidst the chaos of my thoughts, exhaustion creeps in like a thief in the night, stealing away the last vestiges of my resistance. As my eyelids grow heavy and my breathing slows, I surrender to the embrace of sleep, seeking refuge in its comforting embrace. In the quiet of my dreams, the pain and confusion of the day melt away, replaced by a sense of peace and tranquility. For a fleeting moment, I am weightless, free from the burdens that weigh me down in the waking world.
I must have fallen into a fitful sleep as I wake with a start, a cold hand caressing my hair and soft words being whispered. I sit up with a shout of surprise, my heart pounding in my chest as I register the unexpected presence of Raphael. His dark eyes, pools of shadow in the dimly lit room, search my face with a mixture of concern and understanding.
“Raphael?” I whisper, my voice barely a breath against the backdrop of the night, “Where are you doing here?”
He offers me a small, reassuring smile before scooting up the bed to sit beside me, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm of emotions, “Seems Simon has a way with blondie.” He murmurs, his voice a soothing murmur against the silence of the room, “I thought you could use the company.”
His words catch me off guard, a glimmer of gratitude flickering to life amidst the turmoil of my thoughts. Despite our differences and the tensions that often simmer between our worlds, Raphael has always had a knack for offering unexpected kindness in moments of need.
“Thank you,” I whisper, the words barely audible above the steady rhythm of my heartbeat, “I… I appreciate it.”
Raphael’s gaze softens, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken bond that binds us together in this moment of vulnerability. I turn my head to study Raphael, the subtle play of shadows dancing across his angular face in the dim light of the room. There’s a quiet strength in the set of his jaw, a sense of resolve in the depths of his dark eyes that draws me in despite my best efforts to resist.
Raphael’s physical presence is a study in contrasts, a blend of strength and vulnerability that captivates me despite my attempts to keep my emotions in check. His jeans fit him snugly, accentuating the lean lines of his frame, while his T-shirt hugs his torso in all the right places, hinting at the toned muscles beneath. With each movement, the fabric stretches and shifts, offering tantalising glimpses of the chiseled abs that lie beneath.
His jacket hangs casually on the back of the chair across the room, a stark contrast to the precision with which he carries himself. It’s a testament to his effortless confidence, a reminder that even in the face of uncertainty, Raphael remains steadfast and composed.
His pale skin seems to glow in the soft light of the room, a stark contrast to the darkness that surrounds us. There's a vitality to him, a vibrancy that belies the fact that his heart no longer beats in his chest. Despite the absence of a pulse, he exudes an aura of quiet intensity, a magnetic presence that draws me in with an irresistible pull.
His black hair is a little messier than usual, strands falling across his forehead in a disheveled cascade that only serves to enhance his rugged appeal. There's a rawness to him, a rawness that speaks to the depth of his emotions and the complexity of his character.
In this moment, bathed in the soft glow of dawn, I find myself acutely aware of the warmth of his presence beside me, the steady rhythm of his breath, despite him not needing to breathe, a comforting cadence in the stillness of the room. And as I take in the sight of him, something shifts within me, a subtle realignment of my emotions that leaves me reeling in its wake.
Gone is the ache of my shattered illusions, replaced instead by a longing, a hearing for the vampire sitting next to me with a small, enigmatic smile playing on his pale and oh so kissable lips. It’s a realisation that catches me off guard, this sudden surge of attraction that pulses through me like a wildfire, consuming everything in its path.
But amidst the chaos of my thoughts, one thing remains clear: there’s something undeniably magnetic about Raphael, something that draws me to him in a way I can’t quite explain And as I meet his gaze, a silent understanding passes between us, an unspoken acknowledgment of the tangled web of emotions that binds us together in this moment of vulnerability.
With a trembling breath, I reach out to brush a stray lock of hair from his face, the touch of my fingertips against his cold skin sends a shiver down my spine. And as our eyes meet, locked in a silent exchange of longing and desire, I know that this is the moment that can make or break this weird bond.
As I cup Raphael’s cheek in the palm of my hand, feeling the coolness of his skin beneath my fingertips, a rush of anticipation courses through me, singing with the raw intensity of our shared desire. His dark eyes seem to seeping in hue as I brush my thumb across his plump bottom lip, a silent invitation hanging heavy in the air between us.
“If you do this…” He doesn’t finish the warning, both of us knowing, sending a shiver down my spine, a potent mixture of fear and longing swirling within me. There’s a finality to his words, a recognition of the irreversible shift that this moment represents. But despite the uncertainty that tugs at the edges of my resolve, I know that I can’t ignore the pull of the connection that binds us together.
With a trembling breath, I lean forward, closing the distance between us until our lips are mere inches apart. The air crackles with tension, electric and charged with the promise of what’s to come.
And then, with a boldness that surprises even myself, I take the plunge, pressing my trembling lips to his in a tentative kiss. At first, there’s a hesitation in his response, a flicker of uncertainty that lingers in the space between us. But, as if a dam has been unleashed, Raphael meets my kiss with a hunger that sets my soul ablaze. His lips move against mine with a desperate urgency, a silent plea for more as he pulls me closer, his hands tangling in my hair with a possessiveness that leaves me breathless.
As Raphael responds to my kiss with a fervour that ignites every nerve ending in my body, I feel myself melting into his embrace, surrendering to the intoxicating pull of our desires. With a gentle yet possessive touch, he lays me down, his body fitting over mine as if we were made for each other, our limbs entwining in a seamless dance of passion and longing.
His lips continue to move against mine with a hunger that borders on desperation, a silent plea for more as he explores every inch of my mouth with a fervent intensity. The taste of him is like a drug, addictive and intoxicating, leaving me dizzy with desire as I lose myself in the heat of the moment.
I can feel the weight of his body pressing against mine, the heat of his skin searing through the fabric of our clothes. His touch is electrifying, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through me as his hands roam over my body with a reverence that leaves me breathless.
And then there's the scent of him, a heady combination of musk and spice that fills my senses, leaving me intoxicated with lust. It's a scent that I know I'll never forget, a tantalising reminder of the passion that burns between us.
In this moment, with Raphael's lips on mine and his body pressed against mine, I feel more alive than I ever have before. Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word sends waves of pleasure crashing over me, threatening to consume me whole.
And as I lose myself in the intensity of our connection, I realize that I can't seem to get enough of him. He's become my addiction, my obsession, the one thing that I crave above all else.
“I can deal with being a Carstairs if you stay with me.” I gasp, pulling away as unlike vampires I had to breathe.
As Raphael's lips ghost over my pulse point, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through me, I feel my heart race erratically in my chest. His words wash over me like a soothing balm, a reassurance that transcends the weight of my newfound identity.
"I don't care if you're a Carstairs or not. I know who you are," he murmurs against my skin, his breath sending tingles of electricity dancing along my nerves. In that moment, with Raphael's lips pressed against my neck and his arms wrapped around me, I feel seen, understood, and accepted in a way I've never experienced before.
But the sudden interruption of reality crashes down upon us like a wave, breaking the spell of intimacy that had enveloped us. I pull away from Raphael’s embrace, gasping for breath as the need for air overwhelms me. His dark eyes meet mine, filled with a mixture of concern and understanding,
“We should probably get some sleep," he suggests softly, his voice a soothing melody in the silence of the room. "It sounds like Simon and Alec want to tear my throat out currently for touching you.”
A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips at his words, a silent acknowledgment of the complications that come with our newfound connection. With a nod of agreement, I settle back against the pillows, feeling Raphael's warmth beside me like a comforting embrace. As sleep begins to claim me once more, I find solace in the knowledge that despite the challenges that lie ahead, I have Raphael by my side, a constant source of strength and support in a world that often feels uncertain and unforgiving
And as I drift into the realm of dreams, I know that tomorrow will bring new challenges and obstacles to overcome. But for now, in the quiet of the night, I allow myself to simply be, to exist in this moment of connection and possibility, where the boundaries between friend and something more blur and fade into the ether. With Raphael by my side, I know that whatever lies ahead, we'll face it together, bound by an unbreakable bond forged in the fires of adversity.
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