#daviqueers

[avtorsola]

How do you write a non binary character? Do you just use gender neutral pronouns or is their more to it?

Well, using gender neutral pronouns is DEFINITELY a good start! But the thing about being nonbinary is- there's a LOT of variations out there. There's a LOT of different types of nonbinary. Agender, transmasc/transfem, androgynous, another gender entirely, even genderfluid sometimes- there's a lot.

My personal flavor of nonbinary is a scale of alienation, honestly. I don't identify with "being a girl" OR "being a boy" but rather something in-between the two - something more androgynous, maybe leaning masculine. I tend to shift around a centerpoint of "androgynous" anyway, because I am NOT a girl, and I am NOT a boy, but rather...something that's both. And neither. Simultaneously. It's confusing, to be honesy.

But other nonbinary people probably wouldn't feel the same way - They're more than likely going to look at my explanation above and think "PFFFF that's COMPLETELY off - that's not how I feel at all!" In fact, I use the phrase "in between" a man and woman because that's personally how I feel. But another person under the umbrella of nonbinary genders might not feel they're on a scale from masculine to feminine at ALL - heck, they might say "nope. I'm neither masculine nor feminine, I'm something completely unrelated. No 'middle ground' at all."

So, if you're writing a nonbinary character-

It's going to be REALLY important to remember that their relationship with gender is probably going to be complex, and that there's no one "correct" way to write it. Because "nonbinary" is a big, umbrella term that encompasses a lot of things.

But at the end of the day: that character is a person. Give them motivations, a goal, a desire of some kind - being nonbinary doesn't define someone, you know? Use the pronouns that character picks, maybe once in a while have them bemoan having to choose a bathroom to use when there aren't any unisex bathrooms around (that happens to me a lot XD) or don't, becausenot all nonbinary folks care about that, but give them a consistent personality - that's the important part.

And, hint among all hints: if you're not nonbinary yourself, ask for feedback from people who are! And, because nonbinary is this BIG category- try to find someone whose flavor of nonbinary comes close to your character's - they might be able to provide some very valuable insight, if they're willing to be a sensitivity reader.

If the character is nonbinary in a manner similar to me, I'd be willing to read little pieces of writing if you'd like! Even if they aren't similar to my type of genderfuck, I'd be willing to go over something short - you'd just have to DM me.

Happy writing!

[avtorsola]

How do you go about writing a trans female character?

Huh. Good question, actually.

Disclaimer: I'm nonbinary, so I wouldn't be able to tell you what it's like being a trans woman, and on top of that I'm not out of the closet IRL, except with a few trusted friends. So I have some idea - the general discomfort with gender identity, misgendering, problems presenting the way I want to,etc - but it's not the full picture.

However, a general rule of thumb when you're trying to write a character that has an identity you don't share - and you're trying to portray them accurately - is to talk to people who are actually members of that minority group. See if you can't find someone who would be willing to be a sensitivity reader (or better yet, several someones - everyone has a different experience, so they’ll all have varied opinions)

And if you can't do that - maybe you don’t know anyone willing to talk - then write them as a person first, and kind of sprinkle in the identity pieces later. Maybe it won’t be exactly accurate, or maybe you might accidentally gloss over some of the more complex aspects of a trans identity without realizing, but if it’s not the focus of the story, you’re probably fine. People (should) understand that you’re trying, and that by itself is important.

But the most important part of all of this is that - you’ll have to remember every trans person has a different experience, because every trans person has a different life story. So any feedback or criticism you get will likely be personal to the person who gives it. I know as a nonbinary person, the things I want to see in nonbinary characters are more wish-fulfillment than anything - I like nonbinary characters that are deities or magical, eldritch beings and the like - it’s very fun for me. But some nonbinary people think that’s degrading, to be portrayed as non-human, and they hate it accordingly. So when people are giving you their opinions, just remember that they’re opinions. Everyone has one, and it’s important to respect it, but you don’t have to agree.

TL;DR - Ask for advice from folks in that minority group, don’t focus on said identity too much if you’re unsure, and as long as you’re making a genuine attempt to write a good character, you’re good. Everyone’s gonna have a different take based off their personal experience.

Hopefully it goes well for you! Sorry this took so long to get out - I wasn’t sure how to respond for a while ^-^

Oh, and P.S. - If you’re using a fic to explore concepts of gender and sexuality, it’s okay to experiment! It’s okay to get things wrong, or to write something that isn’t “Good Representation” (which isn’t fanfic’s job anyway, imo). Exploring is important too, and it’s not always pretty. If it helps you, that’s what matters.

[avtorsola]

Hi, I'm writing a story with merfolk and I'm trying to figure out what I would call the non-binary merpeople. I was wondering if you had any thoughts? Currently I'm using mernix (nixxie is a merlike creature in I believe German mythology) but considered merperson, mer, and merson. Sorry if I'm bothering you.

OOOOh, mernix sounds interesting! I’ve actually never heard of a nixxie before, so that could be a really cool way to talk about a nonbinary merperson/merson/mer etc. :O

I may borrow that in the future, if I ever need to have a nonbinary merperson? possibly?

But honestly? I’d say you could use all of those terms, interchangeably, with no inaccuracy whatsoever. The beauty of being nonbinary is that- well, also it’s the curse- It’s not a solid “third category” of gender. It’s a huge umbrella term for every gender that isn’t “man” or “woman.” THUS, all of those terms could be the preferred term to use for a particular group of nonbinary mernix or merpeople - because they’re preferred for varied genders that still fall under the larger “nonbinary” umbrella.

However, for readability’s sake, and to hold true to typical English-language conventions, I’d say - when making general statements about nonbinary merfolk, or a merperson who’s gender is as-of-yet unspecified: Do it like you would for a person IRL, just tag it with the “mer” prefix.

Examples: This group of nonbinary (mer) people. That (mer)person over there. (cat voice: this is my human/mer)

and etc.

However, if you’ve already established the word “mernix” to mean nonbinary merpeople, that’s also fine!! Just be sure to treat it like “merman” and “mermaid” and don’t forget plurals and grammatical constructions using it!

Good luck on your story!!! (and JFKAHSDKJF you’re not bothering me! I’m happy to answer questions like this ^_^)

[avtorsola]

I aspire to be a thembo one day...would like to be Big and Strong and Somft for a cute gf...

[avtorsola]

So I have a question about non-binary characters. I have a story and two of the characters are... Magical? Sorta. They can basically become one person, ones a guy, ones a girl, when they join they kinda just, don't view gender as a fact then, they're neither. Is that like? Alright? It's not a major plot point but would come up once or twice. Basically they're only non-binary when they're one person instead of two.

Omg, anon, that’s *completely* fine.

Being nonbinary is a full spectrum. Some people exist “in between” male and female, some people decide their gender falls outside that entirely, some people don’t have a gender, and some people bounce around like a ping-pong ball between a lot of different genders. It’s all personal to the individual you’re talking about.

Having a boy and a girl fuse, and the fused person not regarding gender as a factor? Sounds perfectly fine to me. Honestly cannot see even the slightest bit of an issue with that.

And even if there WAS some huge, glaring issue with the concept - it really all depends on how you choose to write it and the intent behind it. Those two things alone can change a *lot* about a story.

[avtorsola]

buff women or tiny women?

ALL WOMENS.

(I would just like to BE buff. But all of them....girls pretty)

[avtorsola]

I'm so so sorry about your parents. I'm in a super similar situation and it's SO UNFAIR AND CRUEL. Your identity is a part of you, not a political statement or something to diminish and ridicule, and I hope you can at least find some solace in the fact that there are tons of people who support you, the entire you, and that your parents are so clearly in the wrong here. I hope your day improves and you find some peace and take time to rest. Take care and remember, you're loved for who you are!

😭😭😭 god, thank you for the sweet words, anon.

We can get through this together, I'm sure of it.

/gives you a hug/ I'm rooting for you too, anon.

[avtorsola]

Sorry your homelife is hurting you Davi kun, Do you have any friends or other relatives who are more accepting of who you are you can stay with? You're an adult you can do and be whoever you want as of this point your parents have NO SAY in who you can and can't be and if you choose to Gender queer then thats who you are-they have NO say in the matter. I'll always love and adore who you are Davi >^_^)> I hope things get better for you or they leave you alone, whatever comes first

Thanks, anon 😢

I do have other people I could probably stay with, but the issue is the current lockdown, and that I don't have a car, so I don't really have a way to get there.

I'll be okay though - I hope to be moving out soon, which will help a lot, I think...

Thanks for the nice thoughts ;W;