Can we just like put a pause on taxes in lesser hyrule, like the insurance costs on housing were already insane after ganon decided to turn this place into a GTA V online server-without moderation no less, now this fuckin lesbian bitch from the stone ages or however long a few centuries is, is trying to TAX ME on MY CAVE HOLDINGS????
First of all right, like I didn’t elect her, she didn’t get my vote. Secondly, I told the hero this and he just said “sure whatever, hit me” and kept playing blackjack(I run a casino out of my basement)
I swear, if that bloodcult shit ends up raising my heating bill, I’m moving back to Holodrum
Citizen of Lesser Hyrule,
Thank you for contacting me. I hope this letter finds you well.
My sister, Aurora, is not in charge of anything save for a few cannabis plants in the castle greenhouse. Taxes have little to do with her. I suggest you keep her name, or whatever creative pseudonyms you use to describe her, out of your mouth.
That being said, the cave taxes you claim to be paying were not authorized by me. Cave holdings have always been tax-exempt, and the Council and I intend to keep it that way.
In regards to elections, you seem to be unaware of the recently appointed council member from your region, Georg Cavey. This is concerning, but in hindsight, I suppose it makes sense. His contributions to our meetings were always a little odd.
Link was supposed to oversee the election in the Death Mountain region. When I asked him how it went, he merely smiled and shrugged, and I mistakenly assumed things went well. I appreciate the additional context regarding the basement casino. It isn’t illegal, but in the future I recommend not letting him get distracted during election season. You know how he is about blackjack.
I will rectify this representation issue as soon as possible. In the meantime, do not give rupees to anyone you do not recognize claiming to be a Lesser Hyrule tax collector. This is obviously a scam if you live in a cave.
You should also not have a heating bill. Fire is free.
I did not know there was a housing insurance agency in your region. Is this a new development? I was under the impression people were still using the age old break-it-buy-it honor system there. Another scam, perhaps?
It is my understanding that the cost of living is lower in Lesser Hyrule than anywhere else in the world, as long as you don’t shell out rupees to every con artist who comes your way.
But by all means, move back to Holodrum. I hear the king recently hiked property taxes just because he wanted another golf course.
Lastly, there is no blood cult in Hyrule. That is merely a rumor. We are doing everything we can to get the monsters under control.
Zelda-Dawn Emerald Harkinian