#sa mention

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sometimes I do wonder if men actually get sexually assaulted and abused at a similar rate that women do but a lot of them just don’t know that’s what’s happening to them

[testosterone-tuesday]

I've never understood the jokes, disdain, and mockery against transmasc people who detransition for their cishet boyfriends. It's like. That's abuse guys. Being pressured to detransition by a partner is abusive.

It just bleeds this specific kind of anti-transmasculinity which denies our autonomy and treats us as less legitimate of trans people- and pathetic for that. To detransition for your boyfriend is like mocked as if it is a lack of backbone or a failure. There's a projection of weakness and frivolity on our identities- so this is just proof of our lack of commitment to being trans.

But even these jokes, stereotypes, and expressions of disgust- they have an acknowledgement that the transmasc person here is denying themself, that they're repressing. That's why it's humiliating, that's why it is shameful. You're folding on who you are for someone else's approval. And I just don't understand how people see this as anything other than a tragic byproduct of the fact that transmasc people are treated as unlovable to the point one would betray their own happiness to pretend not to be trans.

Our bodies are used as examples of horror and disgust, people who push detrans grifts focus hugely on how testosterone corrupts and defiles our once beautiful female bodies. As afab people we're raised with the treatment of our bodies as that which makes us valuable, lovable. Beauty and sex and the objectification as a collective, cultural possession. The value of gender conforming, cis femininity.

Transmasculine people, especially those who medically transition, are treated like shit. Like we're ruining ourselves, our value is stripped, our bodies are themselves a graveyard. Caricatures of us focus on how ugly we are, portrayed as grotesquely masculine for what should be a woman, obscenely and impotently feminine for what is trying and failing to be a man. Fearmongering about testosterone focuses on how disgusting our bodies will be.

On one end, cis gay male spaces can be intensely transphobic to transgender men and mascs. Straight trans men face rejection from cis women as well under a similar disgust that we just are not man enough. Manhood is so wrapped up in having a dick, it's like we're created as castrated and people treat us like that.

Then the cis men who are attracted to women who will still date and fetishize transmascs for their agab or feminine traits, they are revolted by our transitions towards masculinity, and feel an ownership over us, that we're taken away what makes us good. If we transition too much, then we're too masculine to fuck, too masculine to love.

And to a lot of society, that's, like, our whole point. Women and afab people's fuckability and its tie to the consideration of our humanity, to extensions of empathy. We give that up when we transition. Enough that it's treated as a threat to stop us from transitioning, that you're ruining yourself and no one is going to want you like that.

There are those who are attracted to masculinity look at transmascs and will never see us as masculine or man enough. No matter how far we transition. They call bottom surgery mutilation and never living up to "the real thing." To many, we'll always be stained by a ghost of femininity that will delegitimize our masculinity and our manhood. We're treated as, at best, a downgrade.

We get treated as too feminine to be loved for our masculinity. But too masculine to be valuable for our femininity (as cis women are).

It feels like no matter where you look, the world that feels you are owed to it, it is beating into you that you're ruining your chance at love and happiness. That you're disgusting and unlovable. That you'll never be enough of a man, that you need to accept your place as a woman because at least then someone might like you, or treat you kindly. Every where you look there is shame and the insistence you were supposed to be a girl.

And then when people cave to that shame, because they are so terrified of being alone, of being unloved- we're out here mocking them? Blaming them for it? Doing the same shit, projecting this toxic masculinity on us that I guess they just weren't man enough. That being afraid of being unlovable and rejected by society is just like. Skill issue.

Get a load of this guy. Being afraid of becoming an object of disgust and ridicule. Being afraid of losing the ability to be worthy of being loved especially after being raised in a world that treats you as if your feminine body is what makes you valuable and how demonized transgender men are as objects of disgust and seen as destroyed and soiled bodies that will never live up to true manhood or masculinity.

Definitely coincidental they might be particularly vulnerable enough to be manipulated back into the closet by a controlling partner. Putting aside your authenticity because we live in a world that does not show us a life for people like us where we are celebrated, loved, and wanted.

Why are other queer people so cruel about this phenomenon? We are literally subjected to high rates of intimate partner violence, SA, and psychological abuse. What compels you to look at this with such a lack of empathy, with such scorn.

It's often seen as a tragedy when queer people feel pressured by a queerphobic world to go back into the closet. But so many people just don't think of transmasc people as trans enough. That we're not as committed or legitimate, and that those who would do something so humiliating as detransitioning and repressing themself for (yuck) a man- are proof of that lack of backbone. Never do they consider how unlovable we're made to feel, and how desperate you can be to be loved. This trauma which primes you into being a victim of abuse.

It's just victim blaming, and so intensely rooted in anti-transmasculinity. Drenched in it.

This is just more of the widespread dismissal of our autonomy, the refusal to take us and our transgender personhood seriously- the projection of us as weak, shallow, and illegitimate. Paired with the ingrained misogyny of these attitudes, and treating our separation from womanhood as a free pass to treat us misogynistically without it being misogyny.

The glib mockery of our vulnerability and our shame. Without a hint of self awareness that this kind of treatment drives us deeper into the closet, emboldens the pressure and shame, and feeds into the terror of the fact so many people feel we are unworthy of love or respect or empathy.

[deadkraker]

i think its crazy how little the subtext of jay being a sexual abuse victim is really discussed and addressed in the fandom. like to me its such a centric theme of his character and his very pronounced hatred towards rapists and pedophiles in particular. like he beat the living shit out of CSAM producers. hes shown to respond to threats from older men by 'hitting' on them sometimes in a way that is not dissimilar to past grooming victims. he has a thing about kids and sex workers and protecting them with everything he got. hes consistently and CONSTANTLY treated akin to a rape victim with the way hes stigmatised as 'evil' and 'angry' and 'inpure' for his anger and counter actions. its just. so horribly clear especially in some of the earlier writing and I hate that its just another thing thats kinda forgotten in the later iterations of his story. in general we should include more about his trauma of being impovrished and everything that comes with that in a way that isnt disgustingly classist and meant to excuse the lack of benefit of a doubt he gets graced with everything he does.

[plantauntea]

I think this scene in particular fucked me up and made me cry when I watched Episode 13. Let me tell you why.

For context: Mister tells Amo that they should do their usual “Ritual”, said ritual being rape and sexual assault. Amo then says, “Amo’s heart beats fast whenever she does the rituals. It makes it hard to breathe. It hurts.” Mister, being the goddamn vile motherfucker he was, lied to Amo and said that the feelings she had were actually ‘love’ and that she was ‘in love with him.’ Which then led to the dreaded ‘crayon scene’.

Now, I’ve seen some comments on social media saying,

- “Oh, well, the flowers mean that she actually enjoyed what Mister did to her! She’s still attached to him!”

(No, she did not enjoy it. To even suggest that she did makes me want to check your search history. The flowers, in my opinion, are signs of Amo trying to reimagine her innocence or romanticize what was happening in order to cope, but it failed miserably.)

- “If Amo really hated Mister, then how come she said that Mister was a ‘great first love’ and that ‘she’ll never forget him’ when she smelled the boots?”

(You need to remember, this poor girl went through so much in one day. She snapped and killed her abuser, was given boots that were her ‘missing pieces’, and saw ‘Angels’ for the first time. Plus, we can all CLEARLY tell that it was a flashback from MONTHS AGO. Hell, even near the end of the episode Amo says, “Becoming human made Amo understand some things she never understood. Like how what Mister was doing to her wasn’t really love.” She realized, after months of being alone, that Mister was never her first love and that he was a terrible man that did terrible things to her. She doesn’t want that anymore.)

- “She smiled when Mister was done with her after the crayon scene! So the creators are using her as a fanservice/gooner character!”

(Again, Amo was telling herself a lie that what she’s feeling is ‘love’ and not ‘fear’. When she said, “So this is what love is. I’m so happy to know this feeling.” It’s like a ‘fake it til you make it’ situation. Deep down, this is one of the most terrifying things that ever happened to her, and she knows this well. But out of keeping her sanity, SHE HAD TO TELL HERSELF THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS, NOT CONTINUOUS SEXUAL ASSAULT. Also, when she talks to herself in the third person, she is pretending that she is a character. Becuase if she referred to herself in the first person and realized the gravity of her abuse, it would not go well for her. So she had to, out of survival and coping with her trauma.)

Let’s be so honest: In that scene that made me cry, Amo was NOT falling in love with Mister.

SHE WAS SCARED.

She was afraid of Mister, and she always was afraid of him.

In this moment; she realized that this is the only form of ‘love’ she will ever get in her life and, with fear and despair in her heart, forced herself to accept it.

When she leans her head down and says, “Ok.”, that’s not out of love, that’s out of terror. It’s out of coercion. But because Amo has never known was true love felt like (whether romantic, platonic, or family), and because she was trapped with Mister since she was a child (I’m gonna assume since 6 to 15 years old, so a total of 9 years…maybe even more), this is the only kind of “love” she ever known.

According to her during that time, to know love is to know fear and pain.

So Amo turned off all of her true emotions, became numb, went along with Mister’s sick fantasies for survival, and referred to herself in the third person in order to separate herself from her body to cope and not emotionally combust.

I’m glad she killed that fucker.

[autistic-shane-hollander]

I'm about to say something that might be controversal. Troy/dallas would have been just as big of a RPF ship in universe as Shayden or hollanov. I don't even think it would depend on if they knew about the homophobia or the allegations or not. I'm not even an rpf person or a person who follows the nhl but it doesn't take more than five minutes to find recent (posted in the last week) fic about players who are known homophobes or have sexual assault allegations.

[r3n0-5]

People need to understand that you can be hypersexual and asexual at the same time. Yes, you can have no desire for sex at all, and be repulsed by explicit material, and then out of nowhere have an inexplicable desire to have sex or masturbate, thoughts of the act itself and images of it can appear in your head AGAINST YOUR OWN WILL. Most of the time people who have both have been sexually assaulted or abused in some kind of way related to sex. Hypersexuality is a trauma response, so can be asexuality. So don’t go invalidating people without knowing them and their stories, ‘cause asexual and hypersexual people are pretty valid, whether you believe they’re faking it or not, they exist

[impending-doom-lol]

A Welcome Surprise from Deep In

"Many male assault victims feel pleasure or get hard and climax. First, it's biology. Second, attackers do it on purpose to assert sexual control. Then they use the victim feeling pleasure to dodge punishment."

A very important point I've never heard a TV show make before. So unexpected from the Unethical Therapy movie in the Messy, Actors Crossing the Line show. Kudos.

Shu Yuan and Ollie nailed the scene too.

[foodiewithdahoodie]

Besides the racist, homophobic, and misogynistic writing we need to talk about how they filmed child sa survivors.

It is abhorrent how casual they made us watch damn near kiddie porn from multiple angles with them struggling and crying and freaking out before/during/after getting attacked. They didn't respectfully allude to anything like in other media that handles this sensitive topic with care. It's triggering to see the graphic symbolism of oral rape and non consensual touching being done to these kids from Will to the new kids and so on.

How many times must we witness Holly and them get violated as if we forgot the dire situation they're in? How many times must we see it repeatedly happen to the kids who essentially were drugged (cuz when they woke up after being taken by the demo they couldn't remember what happened - normal traumatized child reaction).

And the sounds along with the detail of those tentacles pumping shit into their mouths has more screen time than the character development. No wonder we had plot holes, we just had to witness sexual assault more. And then the payoff is only Will gets to admit how used he felt afterwards, Holly and the other kids seem perfectly fine despite realizing their abuser is an abuser and then watching said abuser die before them with no long term conflicted feelings about being groomed.

And the sympathy given to Vecna for kidnapping kids he was ready to threaten for disobeying him. Why are we humanizing abusers more than the victim (ie Billy to Max and Lucas). I didn't need to see kid actors have their likeness re-enact child sexual assault cuz best believe those scenes are being used as some sicko's underage fantasy. The homophobes already used s5 Will's first five minutes of the premiere ep as a crude joke on how he turned gay. That's why people imply such horrifying violence toward children on screen. We don't need to see graphic abuse to believe it happened.