#dc nonsense

[ractna]

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Pt 1

[randompersonspeaking]

Younger siblings with poor anger management and communication issues and their older sibling with an inferiority complex and a constant need to justify existing

[disquietiswhatitis]

One of my favorite takes on whatever we’re calling this latest DC nonsense lmfaooooo

I would love to imagine this dialogue with Supergirl but Kara would never be friends with someone who didn’t go down on women. So fingers crossed for Tyler Hoechlin to recreate this scene whenever they give him a Batman to act with 🤞🏻. I could totally see Bitsie playing along with this bit.

[the-fallen-blue]

Which Trinity villains would make for a Dark Trinity with actually interesting interactions and dynamics?

You know, we shit on Diana’s rogues’ gallery a lot but Clark’s is pretty shallow too. Lots of bad guys but literally only two who are particularly charismatic evil, one of whom he stole from another franchise. Combine that with the fact that the Trinity is stupid because it’s two colossal heavyweights and a flyweight and most of their best rogues are even more so, and this becomes tricky. But here’s two thoughts:

#1: The Almost Classic

Honestly there’s nothing wrong in theory with Luthor and Minerva, pre-Flashpoint. He has political and technological power that could be useful to her in either her “master the curse/Urzkartaga” or “recover Cool Archaeology Shit” goals, and she has physical and magical power that could be useful to him in his “fuck Superman entirely” goal. Her archaeology might even be interesting to him in and of itself, since if she recovers ancient tech or signs of human badassery that’s something he can point at to say “humans, way cooler than aliens and metas.” He would have a restrained contempt for her as an uncontrolled murderer and thief, and she would have a less restrained contempt for him as someone who is lying to himself and extremely delusional about the relative place of he and metas in the world, but they’d both also respect each other’s abilities and intelligence enough to make things conflicted without falling apart. Keep Minerva in character instead of kitten-purring and fucking Snapper Carr and this can work fine.

Joker, of course, is a wild clusterfuck and has no place anywhere near this, but if we replace him with Bane (political leader era), we might have something interesting. Put some interesting magical artifact on Santa Prisca. Lex hears about it and wants it for Reasons, and gets Minerva involved, hoping to manipulate her to the correct side of the useful advice/dangerous competition dichotomy. Minerva plays the same game with Lex. Bane tries to balance the usefulness of this artifact to him and his people against the power and greed of these shady white imperialists who he needs in order to unearth and activate the thing. Bang, we don’t even need heroes for this story.

#2: The Warpers

This one requires us to a) fudge someone into Diana’s gallery on a technicality and b) target a very specific iteration of the Joker that is pretty goddamn far from any comics canon in the last three+ decades, but: Mxy, the Queen of Hearts, and Joker could be kind of awesome. For this we need the Joker who’s whatever evil, but primarily funny, and wildly creative in his insanity; a Mxy who’s extremely amused by this; and a Queen who one or both of them can convince that their nonsense lines up with one of her stories, which are pretty absurd already in their own way and therefore extremely amusing to the boys. I feel like in it’s way this is actually the Darkest possible Dark Trinity, because they cannot be placated or reasoned with, they will destroy the entirety of time and space because it’s fun, and how the hell do you fight that. We are all doomed.

[randompersonspeaking]

My fatal flaw is the firm belief that I could’ve written the supergirl movie to be good

[randompersonspeaking]

I don’t even know the names of these two characters, but I need them to kiss expeditiously

[nov5aftermath]

catch me committing voter fraud at the DC aids election

[vagrantblvrd]

That one Marvel/DC crossover that happens after the first Avengers movie, right?

Tony designing floors at the Tower for the Avengers who move in and things are still in that awkward stage of okay, yes, we did just save the world but are still getting used to one another outside of that period in life.

As you do.

Tony and Bruce are doing better than the the others in that regard because science bros?

And Tony and Natash have fond memories of that time Tony was dying of palladium poisoning and Natasha was sent to...profile him or whatever, idk. 

(What’s a little being stabbed in the neck between friend, right???)

Clint is like.

Who even knows, is the thing. Tony sure as hell doesn’t.

(But then that time Tony heard snoring from the vents while he was waiting for a meeting with Fury at SHIELD - Tony tried to be fashionably late, of course, but Fury was like, bitch please and Tony was waiting for half an hour before he showed up, and anyway.

Yeah.

Snoring from the vents, and when he investigated found Clint in his little bird nest and learned that with the everything of the brainwashing and whatnot Clint’s in limbo where SHIELD is concerned.

Tony should have, would have, left Clint there to his sad little nest, but then he remembers Agent and all that concern he had when he went to Tony at the Tower at the start of everything, and it’s like shit.

So Tony drags Clint back to the Tower where Natasha’s waiting like what took you so long? and honestly Tony doesn’t know if that’s meant for him or Clint of both of them, but yeah.)

Steve shows up a few weeks later, fresh from his cross-country drive or whatever, and he looks like shit.

Better than when he left, maybe, but still bad.

Middle of the night and all, and Tony is staring at him because Steve looks so miserable like he didn’t know where else to go, and Tony just sighs like yeah, yeah, okay, and means to drop him off on his floor?

But the whole miserable thing, and anyway, anyway, Tony’s couldn’t sleep - funny what flying a nuke through a wormhole will do to a guy’s head afterwards - and maybe Steve could do with coffee.

Or, something.

(And if the others come out of the woodwork after that, well. Communal kitchen on the communal floor, you know? That’s what it’s for.)

But then, okay.

That’s when all the “interns” show up around the Tower.

“Pretty sure it’s to do with corporate espionage,” Tony tells Steve when the man asks. Tony’s got this odd little smile going on, and he doesn’t seem all that concerned and shrugs, because.

Wayne Enterprises and the Bruce(ie) Wayne and all these kids of his that somehow manages to swing internships with SI and access to areas the other interns don’t have.

Such as the Avengers communal floors.

Also, they just.

Show up out of nowhere sometimes.

(Clint is absolutely not weirded out intimidated by a bunch of kids, okay. Fuck off, Tony.)

Natasha is delighted, especially when Cass and Steph are at the Tower.

(And if there are “surprise security tests” by individuals in bat-themed suits that she gets to take part in, well that’s neither here nor there.)

Bruce is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ because it’s probably better not to know, and hey, Tony’s not bothered and anyway.

(But then there’s Bruce Wayne at the breakfast table one day or Lucius Fox and they’re going over some new organization or foundation or something between SI and WE for charity and Tony’s pretending he’s not listening - Bruce knows better by now - and so is Brucie, but Lucius and Pepper keep trucking on anyway.

Tony looks up and waggles his eyebrows at Bruce as he pushes a chair out, like, oh hey, science bro, interested in discussing ways to spread the wealth and do some good in the world?

Because of course he does, and of course Bruce does, and anyway. They have the fancy donuts and assorted pastries, so.)

Sometimes someone hacks into the Avengers’ comms and helps them out on missions or just to heckle Tony who is like, the sass on you, even as he sasses her back because Oracle

Anyway, all these Bats around and Steve is like how, and why, and Tony you neglected to mention you know Batman when the guy helps them out of a bit of a pickle that one time, and Tony is just.

“You never asked?”

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

To which Steve is like are you kidding me with this right now, but yeah, no, Tony’s right.

(Because why the hell would Steve even think to ask that???)

Also, though, also.

Galas and fundraisers and all that fun stuff, but with Tony and Bruce(ie) being horribly little gremlins about the everything.

Steve is like “...” and oh, no, because Pepper and Rhodey both warned him about the two of them being utter bastards way back when, didn’t they, and he laughed it off thinking surely it couldn’t be that bad.

(But it is. It so is.)

Also, there’s that one reporter from the Daily Planet who’s there for most of the galas and fundraisers - he and Steve do the wallflower thing and Clark tells him about various stories/scandals Tony and Bruce have been involved with over the years and is like oh, no because what has he gotten himself into here?

Because ~feelings for Tony and all, and anyway, can’t dwell on that because any event attended by at least one (1) bat or other superhero is surely doomed from the start.

And then supervillains, and of course this is that little pickle Batman helps the Avengers out with because Bruce and other assorted Bats helping save the day when someone targets Tony.

Tony being like oh, yeah, they’ve been keeping an eye on me because Bruce(ie) is a paranoid bastard and he and Tony really do go way back, and anyway.

Bats, you know?

Overprotective bunch, really.

Which is when Steve realizes various Batkids have been watching Steve and the others after Tony invited the Avengers into his home, and also, also, Batman has wholly earned his reputation.

(Not that he gives Steve the Shovel Talk or anything, just. The man’s intense, and overprotective and apparently a damn good friend, and anyway. He’s just returning the favor for the time Tony did the same with Clark, and it’s just. You know. A thing.)

... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯