Duke's eyes glow brighter than most flashlight. His teeth glow faintly enough to see them in the dark when he smiles. His blood glows a little as well. He sometimes forgets he can turn them off.
Duke at 3 am eating cereal in the mansion, in the dark.
Jason breaking in through the window, seeing two glowing orbs sitting at the table: Holy shit! What is that?
Duke: Huh?
Jason: Duke? Oh my god what's wrong with your face?
Duke: Rude! My face is amazing!
Jason: Why is it glowing!
Duke: Oh, yeah they do that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duke on one of his rare nighttime missions with Steph, Tim, and Jason.
Steph: Shit, I lost my flashlight
Tim: Here, I think Bruce packed me a spare.
Jason: No! Wait, let me try something
Tim and Steph: ??
Jason takes Duke's helmet off: Look that way.
Duke's, eyes being better than any flash light Wayne money can buy: This feels dehumanizing.
The science made sense in his head. Daniel and he were far stronger than the average ghost. With the added addition of Daniella, the explanation was obvious: being a halfa made you stronger, which gave him an idea.
It wasn’t easy, but eventually, he managed to collect the DNA samples he needed. The heroes of Gotham, while infamous, were still human, and peak human at that. Originally, he’d planned to collect the DNA of the Batman, but that soon turned out to be impossible.
Somehow, the freak sensed him despite being invisible. The others were just as bad. In the end, he only managed to get three DNA samples: one from the deadly but skilled Orphan, another from the chaotic yet agile Spoiler, and the last from a member called Oracle, who apparently used to be Batgirl.
He’d already begun the cloning and DNA-merging process. Soon, he would have an army of unstoppable—
Danny burst through his window, called him a fruitloop, and punched him in the face.
-
He knew Vlad was a creep, but this took the cake. No, it baked a dozen cakes, sold them, and then proceeded to take them back.
“Hey, Jazz?” This was going to be an awkward conversation, but he had to tell somebody.
“Hey, Danny. Is there something wrong?” she asked.
“Remember when I told you about Vlad being Plasmius?”
Jazz winced. That had been a pretty serious discussion — how do you tell your sister your godfather is a supervillain and a creep obsessed with your happily married mom?
Jazz snapped her pen in anger. “Don’t remind me.” Her anger quickly shifted to worry. “Oh no, what did he do now?”
Well. Time for the big reveal. “Please don’t tell Mom or Dad.”
In the living room were three little girls: a blonde with pigtails, a brunette with a pixie cut, and a redhead with wavy hair.
Jazz gave him a look, clearly asking for an explanation.
“Vlad stole the DNA of three superheroes, merged it with my DNA, and made these three as a result,” he explained.
“So… they’re like your daughters?”
He gave her a so-so look — it was complicated.
“You know you’re going to have to tell them, right?”
“You mean Mom and Dad?” He grimaced. Did he have to?
“Them too,” Jazz said, “but also the people Vlad stole the DNA from.”
Jason: Nope. You can’t just waltz out of this conversation.
Peter: Jeez. Why is this such a big deal?? You literally came back from the dead. *points to Dick* He has a prophecy about him. *points to Tim* And that one is missing a spleen!
Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Steph: *turn to Tim simultaneously* You are missing a spleen?????
Tim: Uhhhh, hey! I told you that in confidence! He is getting away! PETER!
--------
Inspired by Peter and Jason fucking with the Batfam by telling them Peter was in a cult in the fic Existential Crisis Mode.
The thing about Peter, tho, is that he is so much more convincing when he is not even trying lololol
I've had this idea rotating in my head for a while about a specific scenario in a universe where nobody is ever clued in on the fact that the bats are related. They just assume that Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, Nightwing, and everybody else just coincidentally happens to be Gotham (+Bludhaven) based like Batman is.
Do me a favor and imagine the aftermath of some stage five hall hands on deck crisis where everyone and their team has to gather for debriefing and for medical care. Everybody shows up with their respective teams, Nightwing with his Titans, Red Robin with the old members of YJ, Red Hood with the Outlaws, Batman with the JL ect ect.
Everyone is super tired from the battle and none of them are even given a moment to breathe before Red Hood and Red Robin start beefing on sight. Before anybody can even think to intervene, Nightwing, Orphan, Spoiler, Robin, and Signal join in and they all just start bickering at one another.
Everybody thinks they're about to fight. Like seriously start hashing it out. Thing is, YJ are RR's ride or dies. If RR starts fighting Nightwing then the YJ are gonna fight Nightwing. And then the titans are gonna fight the YJ because those are Nightwing's ride or dies. Same goes for all the teams and their respective leaders.
Everyone looks across the room going, "Am I gonna have to fight you? Man, I don't wanna fight you." They could not wanna fight because of the prior battle, out of respect for their potential opponents, or because they know that opponent would whoop their ass. But they'll still do it because that's their leader.
Eventually all of them stop their bickering, suspending the room in tense silence, as they stare each other down. Everybody is bracing themselves for the first punch and the JL is preparing to break up the fight, but instead the silence is broken by all of the birds turning their heads in one direction and yelling, "Daaaaaaddd!"
The room is dead silent enough that everyone can hear Batman's exhausted sigh echo through the room before it's followed by, "You're all grounded."
Trans Tim off handedly mentioning random things that just confuse people more and more because he never told them he was trans (only Bruce and Alfred know)
Tim: "For the mission I'm thinking I'll go undercover, but it'll take some work to hide the bruises I got earlier. They're everywhere"
Dick: "Oh I think Steph is free right now!"
Tim: "...Ok?"
Dick: "Don't worry I'm sure she'll help you out with this! "
Tim: "That's awesome but I don't think I'll need help. I know how to use makeup."
Dick: "Really-? Ohhh, yeah your public image is like, way more public than ours. That must be tiring, having to hide the bruises all the time."
Tim: "Well yeah but I knew how to use makeup before that. For like, galas as a kid and stuff"
Dick: "...yeah..."
-----
Steph: -Complaining about a man- "And then he said "Oh you should smile more" like "you look like you don't want to be here" like what- what the fuck-??? Maybe I fucking don't dude."
Tim: "Oh yeah I hate when they do that. Like you've spent the entire time bitching about the consistency of snails, I can close my mouth for a few seconds."
Steph: "..."
Tim: "...What-?"
Steph: "Well- I mean yeah but- you know I have to deal with it like...way more, and it's just a bit weird that like, you as a guy are, I dunno, trying to relate? I mean you don't have to deal with it litreally everyday"
Tim: "Well yeah not anymore, but, you know...I still did."
Steph: :...What-"
-----
Tim: -Resting against one of the rooftop ledges-
Jason: "Woah, I can't believe it, Red Robin, slacking. What would Bruce do if he saw this!"
Tim: "Fuck off, it's just period cramps." -Jumps off the edge of the building-
Jason: "Yeah whatever Timblina...
Your fucking what-"
-----
Bruce: "And for this mission, we'll be needing someone for the Caroline disguise, but we already know who that is so-"
Dick: "Wait does Steph actually know how to fight in heels-??"
Bruce: "...N-"
Steph: "Yeah Bruce, I mean, you could at least actually ask me before volunteering me to go fight crime in that dress."
Bruce: "You-"
Jason: "I mean no offense, but literally who else would do it? Cass isn't here right now and I don't think any of us are willing to get a boob job for the mission"
Bruce: "No one's getting a boob job-"
Steph: "Yeah! This is bat tech, Bruce probably has ultra realistic titties in everyone's color and size! Jason you wouldn't even need an attachment."
Jason: "I don't think Caroline Hills has fifty gun shot wounds and muscles the size of most those guys heads."
Steph: "Yeah bu-"
Bruce: "None of that will be necessary because none of you" -Pointing at the right side of the table- "Will be going. No one at this table will be needing any prosthetics...Or boob jobs."
Steph: "...Ok but who the fuck is going then-"
Bruce: "Tim."
The entire table: "..."
Steph: "Tim are you really willing to put on boobs for this-"
Dick: "I don't think that's the best idea-"
Jason: "You just said no prosthetics- Oh this'll be fucking rich"
Tim: "...
I...wouldn't need a boob job?? Or prosthetics?"
Jason: "Timbo, that dress is a pretty low cut, and, no offense, your training hasn't given you that many enhancements."
Tim: "...Thank you for the binding compliment?"
Dick: "The what-"
Tim: "Guys I- I already have boobs-"
The Table: "..."
Steph: "WHAT-"
Dick: "You do-?!"
Jason: "Bruce if you made Tim get boobs for some weird mission-"
Tim: "What- No! No one made me get boobs??? Besides, I don't know, biology I guess??? Genetics maybe???"
Dick: "...I'm extremely confused"
Steph: "WHO GAVE YOU BOOBS-???"
Tim: "I'm not really sure seeing as I was born with them"
Dick: "...
OHHHHHH-"
Steph: "What- is this like a birth defect or something???"
Dick: "Tim- Tim I think you're just gonna have to-"
Tim: "I'm trans."
Jason: "...That's-
Yeah
Ok yeah no that- that explains...a lot."
Steph: "..." -Head in hands- "I am such a fucking idiot"
Bruce, with dementia and should have been asleep, is walking around looking for Dick, thinks Dick is 10: Chum, where are you? Are you in the chandelier again? Dick!
The batkids were upstairs because they thought Bruce was asleep. They are having an intense custody battle over who gets to take care of Dad; they all want to
Barbara is the judge
This happens every day. Barbara is both exhausted and amused. She is having fun.
And it's not just the kids. The adults are in the court at the time. It is always an argument over who gets to spend time with Bruce.
Oliver is the one with the most wins from the kids and adults, to everyone's misery. Oliver is very smug about it.
Because Bruce would, no matter the age, recognize his brother and drag him away to talk to him. It is the same conversation Oliver has heard from him for the 10th time that week, and it's only Tuesday.
Everyone is jealous.
One time, Bruce thought only Damian was adopted, and the rest were his biologically. The absolute warfare Damian unleashed, and the rest were laughing so hard while Bruce was confused.
