It wasone of the reasons Merlin didn’t like going out into the field. He was fine while he was out there, whilethere was always a next thing to do- but coming back was never as simple making his report and getting on with life. Today it was even worse than usual, becausemedical had confined him to his bed and private room for a day- a day he didn’t feel he could afford. He needed to get back to work on all the projects that had undoubtedly been set back three weeks by his three days of absence. He didn’tneed this.
Therewas a light knock on his door as he sat stewing. Merlin expectedit to be Harry, though he should still have been thenext room over, having an examination that would hopefully not resultin a similar confinement or everyone in the medical branch would live to regretit.
But when Merlin called out, it was Eggsy who poked his head into the room.
For a fraction of a second,Merlin panicked. “How’s Harry?” heasked, keeping his voice even with an effort. It should have been Harry Eggsy looked in on, not him- so what if Harry had actually been hurt, and he hadn’t realized? What if-
“He’sfine,” Eggsy said, waving him off. “Iwanted to check in on you.” He leanedhis shoulder against the doorway, hands in his pockets. Merlin could tell he was meant to be at homebecause he wore his flashy civilian clothes- but he had stayed to see how Harrywas. How they both were,apparently. “Not used to having to worryabout both of you.”
Itwasn’t really a surprise that Eggsy worried, only that he admitted it. Merlin worried all the time, about Eggsy andHarry in particular, but he never said so aloud. “I’m fine too.”
Eggsy’seyebrows lifted. “That right?” He crossed to Merlin’s bed. “Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you keep still this long before.”
Merlindidn’t reply to that; he just snorted.
Eggsyrelented a little. He had a bag over hisshoulder, and he set it down in the chair next to Merlin’s bed. From it he produced a tablet. “Thought you might want this,” he said,perching on the edge of Merlin’s bed and waving it.
“Blessyou,” Merlin said, reaching out.
“Uh-uh,”Eggsy said, lifting the tablet into the air above Merlin’s head- something he would never havemanaged had Merlin been feeling even fractionally better than he did. “I’m allowed to let you look anything youwant on it. No touching, though.”
Merlinconsidered this very unfair proposition. “All right,” he said at last.
Eggsygrinned. He settled, warm, againstMerlin’s side and held the tablet up for Merlin to look at, bringing up a fewstatus reports. Itwas exactly what Merlin had been desperate for just a few moments ago, buthe kept getting distracted by Eggsy’s nearness. He was so close, and it felt like he was only easing closer. His arm, initially thrown out over Merlin’spillow, had crept down to his shoulders. Merlin thought about saying something- Harry might appreciate a post-mission cuddle, but I do not sprangto mind, but did it really need saying? Harry and Eggsy were together, after all.
Therewas a light in Eggsy’s eyes that suggested he knew what was going throughMerlin’s mind, which made Merlin wonder- was the smirk he wore a tease, ora dare? And if it was a dare, was hedaring Merlin to ask him to back off, or to allow it?
BeforeMerlin could make up his mind, he heard another knock on the door.
This time it was Harry, and Merlin considered asking for help,but judging from the amused look on Harry’s face he wouldn’t give it. Anyway, what would Merlin say- tell your boyfriend to unhand me? It was unlikely to work, since Harry hadbeen trying to bring Merlin around on the subject of physical affection foryears. He hadn’t had much success,because Merlin was sure that however close Harry got physically he would still be far away in every sensethat mattered. Not that having Eggsypressed up against him was much easier; he had known Eggsy for about a tenththe time he had known Harry, and yet he already…
Harry-silent all this while- approached the bed with the slowness and deliberation ofa wild beast on the prowl. Hecame to sit on Merlin’s bed too, on his other side but close enough thatEggsy’s fingertips must have been brushing against his neck. “What are we looking at?” he asked, as ifthere was- to him- nothing the least bit odd about the situation.
“Statusreports,” Eggsy said.
Theycouldn’t possibly have sounded more innocent, but there was something on theair- and in the direction Harry’s hand, now, was creeping- that belied it. “I’m not sure this is the best idea,” Merlinsaid. They might think he meant the status reports, on theoff chance he had read the tension crackling through the room wrong. He did that sometimes.
“Whenhas that been a deterrent?”
Thatwas Harry’s voice like a warm breath against his ear, and Eggsy’s smile closeenough to kiss. Merlin had never had theproblems some of the Kingsman did, telling the old Galahad from new- but right atthe moment it was difficult to determine where one of them ended and the otherbegan. “Oh,” Merlin said. He wondered just how many rooms he had read wrong over the years, thinking that neither of them would ever…
He wondered what he could do about it now.
Hesuspected that the only reason he hadn’t been ordered not to participate incertain not bed-rest but still bed-related activities was because the doctorshad assumed it went without saying. Sohe decided not to move- not away, not toward. There would be time to think on what this meant- time totalk himself out of doing anything about it, most likely- but for now Merlin could simply enjoythe closeness.
“Can Isee that mission dossier for Bors again?” he asked.
Harryreached across him, bringing up the correct file on the tablet while Eggsy held italoft, still smiling brightly.
Some more answers! Tagged by the wonderful @deadsdemona to answer these:
1. what album should i listen to right now?
Flume's Skin Companion EP II (on Spotify Hyperreal is separate from the rest of the EP, but it's included on this YouTube playlist)
2. what are some of your favourite books?
Diary and Rant by Chuck Palahniuk, Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Les Liaisons dangereuses by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos (which this is partially just because I read it in French in one of my last French classes and god, it was a struggle and there's probably a lot I missed, but I really enjoyed the conversations we had about it in class!)(and also, duh, the HP books!)
3. if you have any notps in the fandom(s) you’re in, what are they?
I am primarily about that ship and let live life, so I really stick to my ships and let other people do what they want to do. It's all imaginary anyway, so notps don't make a lot of sense to me?
4. what part(s) of your identity do you value the most and why?
So tough! We used to have conversations in grad school about culture and identity and everything else and well, I'm a white af bitch - I have no culture specific to me necessarily, so answering questions about my "culture" and my identity was really tricky for me. I value my education the most, though, I think. Without it, I wouldn't be the person I am today and I certainly wouldn't have the critical thinking skills that I have now. That's a weird thing to value to some people, but it's incredibly important to me.
5. describe a perfect fic for you (i.e., what pairing, which fandom, what tropes, etc.)
Ahhhhh! Okay, well, drarry because obviously and I love 8th year fics and also auror partner fics but I guess what I really want is just that biting relationship between the two of them. I want all the sass and all the snark. I'm such a sucker for bonded!fics, or fics where they have to be close to each other or spend a lot of time together. I'm also really a sucker for veritaserum fics? And I also love me some dom/sub action in the bedroom... but honestly, just give me the sass and I'm totally good.
6. do you follow any blogs/subscribe to any channels out of self-indulgence? if so, what do you indulge in?
Artisan videos! the subreddit r/Artisan... I could watch masters of their crafts making things for hours (and I have... like if I go down the YouTube rabbit hole, there's a good chance I started here). It is weirdly soothing to me to watch other people just be really good at things? I don't know if that's self-indulgence... it sort of feels like it because you know that these people have devoted so much time to their craft, and it feels self indulgent because I'm watching them instead of working on my own shit?
Or videos about nail art, lol.
7. which character (from a book, movie, tv show, or play) do you think would understand you perfectly?
Huh. I don't know if I've ever thought about this... Maybe Aaron Burr from Hamilton (or maybe Alexander Hamilton... I can never decide!)? I dunno, I'm going to keep thinking about this, though...
8. this is a repeat of serpensthesia’s question, but what would you internet fight someone about?
Hehe, my question! I'll fight with people on the internet about a lot of things (reproductive rights, equality, capitalism and why it's shitty, sex education, god, feminism, etc), but I'm a pretty big stickler for science being used properly and information as it relates to science being shared appropriately? Like don't use shitty science to back up your dumb claims about health benefits or safety or anything because I will come for you - though I do usually reserve this type of fighting specifically for people on FB, where that type of information sharing seems to be more frequent (and also because when I come for people about this, it's from a place of concern and love and wanting them to not make potentially dangerous choices or for them to push their potentially dangerous choices onto other people... but FB seems like a better place to be like "listen, you're wrong and here's why but I love you and that's why I want you to know.")
9. name 5 places you would like to visit sometime: go.
Fraaaaance! Brussels! Brazil! Australia! India! (extra: places in the US that I've never been as like one place: SeattleWashingtonStateInGeneralNYCThePartsOfCaliforniaIHaven'tSeenChicagoAllOfThePNW?)
10. what are your favourite and least favourite genres of television?
fave: snarky comedy with a lil drama (My Crazy Ex Girlfriend, The Good Place), weird shit (the Eric Andre Show, Preacher), pretty much anything on HBO, which tends to be dramas (GOT, John Oliver, the Leftovers, etc.), good stories (Breaking Bad, anything by Aaron Sorkin)
least fave: Anything with a laugh track. I cannot do it. I can't do laugh tracks.
11. which social media platform (like instagram, snapchat, twitter) do you absolutely refuse to use?
It took me ages to hop on the Instragram train, but I finally did (like just a few months ago). I've had Snapchat for a long time but I don't use it that frequently anymore (same goes for my Twitter)... I can't think of any social media I refuse to use but I can think of popular parts of social media that I refuse to engage in? I refuse to do Facebook games! I refuse to engage with that whole instagram celebrity type vibe - like people that follow you that don't have anything in common with you, it would seem, and are likely only following you so you'll follow them back? I dunno, that's weird, man.
12. what do you look forward to the most in your day?
Coffee! Haha, usually getting to decompress with HGD after I get home from work/being out... or getting to take naps, when I have time!
Here is the link to my original 11-question meme post - if you see this and wanna do it, consider yourself tagged by me and answer the questions there!
hi, can you answer 20 (🙂), 23, and 32 for the writing ask? thanks!
Absolutely! Apologies for taking so long–real life interfered a bit this evening, so I’m just now catching up!
20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.
So this is from the sword-and-sorcery fic @noeeon and I are hoping to have completed this summer:
Dawn is only just breaking through the darkened sky when the door to my bedroom is thrown open, startling me awake as the thick wood thuds against the stone wall.
“Get up,” Potter snaps at me. A candle flickers in his hand, barely lighting his face much less the space around him.
I pull the blanket up over my shoulders and roll towards the wall, my back to Potter. “Go away.”
For a moment I think Potter’s actually heeded my wish, then the blanket disappears off me, leaving me in nothing but my thin linen nightshirt bunched up around my hips. I sit up, furious. “What is wrong with you?"
Potter just eyes me as he tosses the blanket to the floor, letting his gaze drift up my legs, then cursing when tallow from the candle splatters against his knuckles. Good,I think grimly as I tug my nightshirt down. I can feel my cheeks heat.
"Get up,” Potter says again, moving the candle to his other hand and wiping his knuckles on his tunic. “Put on some clothes. Ones that you won’t mind getting filthy.” He turns towards the door, then glances back over his shoulder at me. “I’ll be waiting at the stables. If you’re not down there I’ll come back with a jug of cold water. Don’t tempt me.”
The door closes behind him just as my pillow connects with the wood. I flop back on the mattress, the straw inside it shifting against my weight. “I hate him,” I say to the dark ceiling, and I rub my hands over my face. It’s too early to deal with Potter, and I consider rolling back into bed and sleeping until the sun is high and bright in the sky. I’m certain, however, that the bastard will keep his promise of watery retribution if I ignore him. Besides I’d rather not have Sirius chide me before the entire castle at table, and I know he would. He’s a Black, after all, and public shaming as a disciplinary method is practically a family tradition.
With a sigh I push myself out of bed and pull on one of my older tunics–cream linen with laces at the throat–and a pair of thickly knit hose before shoving my feet into my boots. This will only go badly, of that I’m sure.
23. Single or multi POV, and why?
Oh, wow, hard choice. I like them both and use them both with wild abandon. I think it depends on the story I want to tell. For something like A Private Reason for This or LIYA, I really love getting into the team dynamics and having a bit of an outsider’s POV of the Harry/Draco relationship. Ensemble fics are my favourite to write, and I think you really need that multi POV for those.
I also like to do multi POV for fics where I want us to see what both main characters are thinking. I’m a big fan of this in romance-centric fics, to be honest, because I think it’s interesting to see how each character’s approaching the relationship and how they’re blocking it as well, and what fears and hopes they both have. There’s a lot of conflict that can be built up from that type of storytelling, and I think when it’s done well, the reader gets emotionally invested in both of the characters. One of the things I’ve had a lot of people tell me in reading LIYA is that as much as they wanted to smack Harry upside the head (and believe me, I wanted to as well at times), they did get why he was acting the way he was because they could see his inner thought process. I think I would have lost that if I’d decided to write LIYA just from Draco’s POV, the way the prequel was. For me, I really wanted to explore the emotions both Harry and Draco are struggling with post-war and how that’s going to influence whatever relationship they’re developing. And for that, multi POV really helps. One of the dangers in it, though, is making sure you’re not just retelling a scene from multiple POVS. I think it works best when you have a single POV devoted to a scene, and then move into another POV in the next scene. Otherwise POVs can get super-messy and confusing.
But I also love single POV for some fics. @noeeon and I chose to use a tight Draco-POV for Boom Clap because we wanted to focus on Draco’s experiences as a Hogwarts Fellow and to complicate the relationship dynamic by having the reader only follow Draco’s (often misguided) interpretation of events. Single POV works really well for when you want the reader to really sympathetic to the primary character and for those times when you want your narrator to be a bit unreliable. You’re only getting one side of the story and I think that can be a really effective strategy.
In other words–let your story dictate whether it wants to be single or multi-POV. Listen to it; it’ll tell you if it needs another character’s insight. Some of the most frustrating writing experiences I’ve had are when I’ve tried to sledgehammer a story into a certain POV. At first I wanted Boom Clap to be alternating Harry and Draco POV, and when we tried writing it that way, both Noe and I realised it just wasn’t working. It wanted to be Draco’s story and only Draco’s. So poor Harry got jettisoned, and I think the story’s much stronger for that change. (Sorry, Harold.)
32. Easiest character to write.
Draco. Oh my God, Draco. I have never identified more with a character in my life. I think I have written more stories from his POV than any other character, even. I love that shithead so much, even in canon. There’s a lot about Draco I understand from my own personal life experiences, and while I would love to say I’m noble and kind and heroic the way fandom likes to see Harry, the fact of the matter is that deep down inside I’m petty and snarky like fanon!Draco. But that connection makes him easy to write.
My tag for Draco on Tumblr is “Draco Malfoy is my happy place” and I mean that. I will fight for that boy, more than any character in the whole HP series, because I love him so much, and I identify with him so deeply, and I treasure him, even with all his faults and fuck-ups, and I have a feeling I’ll be writing from his POV for a very, very long time still.
Deletrius: What’s the last thing that you did besides this? Cleaned old ink out of two fountain pens. My fingertips are now stained purple and orange.
Deprimo: Have you ever been knocked over by the wind before? Yes, but in my defense I was very little at the time and there was a grown-up-sized umbrella involved.
Wingardium Leviosa: If you had the power of telekinesis, what would you do with it? USE IT CONSTANTLY. My life is a constant cycle of sitting down and getting comfortable, a cat jumping up and settling down on my lap, and then me realizing 5 second later that I forgot my phone, or left my glass of water in the kitchen, or forgot to turn off the light in the other room, or can’t reach the remote. Also, like, making the bed? Taking out the recycling/trash? Dusting?? Reaching things from high shelves?? My life would be a thousand times easier and telekinesis would be the most useful power ever.
@deadsdemona replied to your post “1, 3, and 40 for the meme! :)”
you read drarry too!! :o i don't think i know anyone else here who's an avid hartwin and drarry shipper haha
omgggg you're not gonna believe this but in 2015 hartwin fics are the only ones i read and in 2016 it's drarry's !
i have so many of them saved and for some days i read up to 4 fics. i still have about 20 on my kindle unread, just lying there waiting for their turn.
1. What fandom(s) do you read? currently, i'm reading johnlock and bagginshield fics but i also read lots of drarry and of course hartwin. i also read some river song-centric fics. i mainly go for a pairing i like in a fandom and try to read everything i can find about them.
3. What is your favorite all-time fic? this is kinda hard because you have to choose one (1) fic to rule them all. i adore all the tables turn by DivineProjectZero for hartwin and The Measure of a Gentleman by i_ship_an_armada for johnlock. the main reason for choosing them is that i can always find myself going back to read them. always.
40. Have you ever written fanfiction or considered it? i have actually, 9 years ago, when i was 12-ish? it was fun. i wrote for the kuroshitsuji fandom, 3 klaine fics (2 i dropped after meticulously planning out an entire new world in my notebook, a damn shame and waste of time?) and that was it.
From this writing prompt list. 13: “I could kiss you right now!” On the fluffy side (of course).
Eggsy was dead on his feet when his cab dropped him off at his house. He was lucky he managed to get out of the carat all. “Need any help?” his driverasked as he tottered up to the door.
He shook hishead. He just needed to shower off mostof the sweat and collapse. He’d be fine,once he slept for a week. His attempt to get the door open while also taking his coat off ended in failure, and Eggsy almostdecided that he did need help after all. In the second or two that pride warred withexhaustion, the door flew open and a hand snaked out, grabbing him by the wristand hauling him inside.
He panicked briefly,struggled briefly, until he realized the person who had pressed him upagainst the shutting door and clapped a hand over his mouth to stop him crying out was Harry.
Eggsy relaxed and eyed him reproachfully.
Harry’s mouth quirkedas he examined Eggsy. “At least yourface looks all right,” he said, bizarrely.
Eggsyblinked. He supposed Harry meant that hewas unbruised. “Yeah. Didn’t get into a fight or nothing- justknackered.” The mission had gone on for24 hours more than planned, and culminated in a hike through the wilderness forwhich he had been thoroughly unprepared.
Harry noddedkindly. Happy though Eggsy always was tosee Harry- disappointed though he had been when Harry wasn’t at HQ to greet him as he usually was- he did find Harry’s presence now odd. He almost peered outside to check that hehadn’t been dropped off at Harry’s place by mistake. But then Harry helped him out of his coat,and Eggsy decided not to care. “You gotback an hour ago?” Harry asked as he hung it up.
“Yeah,” Eggsy saidagain. Merlin had been unusually accommodating,moving him through his medical checks a lot quicker than normal and evenletting Roxy volunteer her services polishing his report.
“Did you get anysleep on the plane?”
“Some.” It hadn’t felt like enough.
Harry seemed ableto tell as much. “Well,” he sighed. “I suppose it’ll have to do.”
“Do for what?”
“Your sister’sbirthday party.”
Eggsy stared. “I clean forgot.” When he took the mission, the one that went24 hours too long, he had expected to be back in time to get a good night’s sleepand have a leisurely morning at home. Instead… he fucking forgot. Eggsyknocked his head against the door. Without Harry, he might well have stumbled into bed with no idea whatwas happening today.
“So I see,” Harrysaid, with the same non-judgmental practicality he usually took on when Eggsycalled him from the field to ask for help sorting some disaster or other. “Jamal and Ryan are helping to entertain her and herguests in the back garden. I don’t thinkyour presence will be missed for another quarter of an hour at least.”
Now that Harrymentioned it, Eggsy could hear distant laughter and happy screeching. Before Eggsy could contemplate further, Harrywas moving, steering him toward the bathroom and pressing a warm cup into hishands.
“It’s coffee,” Harrysaid. “And I can get you painkillers if you need them.”
“I’m okay.” Eggsy gulped some of the coffee down and made for the shower.
Ten minutes laterhe was damp but clean, toweling himself off in front of the mirror. He looked a little scruffier than he wouldhave liked, but not bad, and the caffeine was starting to do its work. He heard a knock on the door, and then Harrysaying, “Clothes.” He cracked open the door and Harry passed them through- a shirt, jeans, and other necessaries.
Eggsy kept thedoor a little open as he pulled on the shirt, saying, “I’ve got a present up in myroom. Thought I’d get around to wrapping it today-”
“Already done,”Harry said. “Your mother put it with theothers.”
“Thanks for this, Harry.” Eggsy was a little breathless as he pulled onpants and hopped into his jeans. If heangled himself right he could see Harry leaning against the wall by thebathroom door, arms crossed over his chest, expression fond. It might have been the giddiness on the otherside of exhaustion, but Eggsy had never felt more grateful to anyone in hislife, and this was Harry. “I could kiss you right now.”
These- largely thoughtless- words landedin abrupt silence. Eggsy’s gut clenched, but he didn’t have time to regret them before Harry rumbled, “Then kiss me.”
Eggsy’s tiredness,the fact that he had only one sock on, the screaming children in the garden-none of it mattered as he lunged for Harry. The doorknob caught him on the hip and he staggered against Harry,grabbing him by the lapels. It was messy, but that didn’t matter either because Harry’s mouth was soft and his lipswere smiling. The door swung wide andthey sagged backward. Harry’s hands dropped to Eggsy’s hips.
Suddenly all Eggsywanted was to stay right there, kissing Harry, for the right of the night- but he wouldn’t. He would find his other sock and get outthere, because Harry and his mum and his friends had done all this just so he could. Because he shouldn’t waste their efforts. Because he loved his sister and this was herday. But-
He gave Harryanother kiss. “We’ll- uh- continue thisconversation later, right?”
Harry grinned, alldimples up this close. “I certainly hopeso.” He handed Eggsy his missing sock.
“Thanks,” Eggsysaid again, meaning for everything.
“Any time.” Harry sounded like he had never meantanything more.
