I am an alter in a DID system. In headspace, I cannot hear, and I wear hearing aids. When fronting, I CAN hear bit its extremely painful and overwhelming so I tend to wear noise cancelling headphones and/or wireless earbuds that play white noise on a loop.
Am I allowed to refer to myself as deaf, or should I use another term to describe my experience? /gen
I feel like an old geezer now, I had to google what some of these words mean!
Generally, term "deaf" and "deafness" is used for people whose ear is nonfunctional or only partly functional due to damage/irregularities in the ear itself or with the ear nerve.
When the issue lies in the brain not processing or having trouble with sound - like it happens with autism and/or auditory processing disorders etc - its more murky. There is some overlap with certain issues, but its not 100% same and you will get a different opinion every time. Most older Deaf people would not consider you deaf, at least from my personal experience. To be on the safe side, I would probably use a different term.
By the way - please make sure to check your hearing aids usage with an audiologist. If your ears are healthy but its the brain processing sound which is the issue, you should be careful with HAs. Hearing aids can help but they can also severely damage your hearing if badly adjusted or too loud.
Fans of my story “Listen,” I wanted to recommend an amazing, award-winning short film I just watched about a British girl struggling between the hearing and Deaf worlds. It’s called “My Song,” it’s 24 minutes long, and you can watch it on YouTube here, where you can leave feedback for the director, whose channel it’s on. Please go watch it! I’m still wiping away tears.
You said using hard of hearing is better than using hearing impaired, but for me, I only prefer hearing impaired because it speaks much loudly to explain my hearing issue as a medical problem that can't be 'corrected' by people speaking louder, turning up the volume or use hearing aids because these are constantly often offered when I say 'hard of hearing'. It's so annoying. But if I use 'hearing impaired' they generally drop hearing and accept text only. (context: online not irl). Normal?
Hello,
I honestly think every person should use whatever they feel more comfortable with. So if you have a hearing loss and want to use term “hearing impaired” about yourself, feel free.
When I say “dont use hearing impaired”, I mean it towards hearing people. Lot of deaf people don’t like the term, so they should err on the side of caution.
As for your situation, if your hearing loss is so pronounced that hearing aids won’t help you, I wouldn’t tell you to use “hard of hearing”, I would probably use the term “deaf”. Usually, “hard of hearing” is used for people who can use corrections (like hearing aids, etc) and who can understand speech to some degree. But if you are not comfortable with “deaf” and “hearing impaired” seems better/more fitting/comfortable, then, well, use it?
There are people with hearing loss who do prefer the term, usually those who lost their hearing later in life or grew up in hearing only enviroment, where this term was more common. “Normal” is largely a matter of perspective, really. It doesn’t surprise me, I have met people like you who prefer the term and I respect it.
Another important note is the language - what is acceptable term for deaf people changes based on the language. So if you are speaking something other than English, its very well possible that the closest translation of “hearing impaired” is the accepted term for the local deaf community. As an example, in my native language, the generally prefered term would be accurately translated as “not hearing”, while term “hearing impaired” is okayish and term “deaf” is not good. But English and my language have different connotations.
If you are asking whether its normal for hearing people to be dicks about hearing loss and not wanting to give accomodations and insisting to use voice, then its “normal” in the sense its very common. I have the best luck in the terms of “stop insisting on voice, use text” with word “deaf”, though, because even “hearing impaired” still implies you still have some hearing, imo.
But again, its up to you. Its your identity and you choose what word feels best for you.
I’ve been meaning to post this for ages, and so here it finally is: just some final notes about my Deaf!Phil/mute!Dan AU fic “Listen,” about the process of writing it, and about some resources you may want to check out. This is rather long, because I did a lot of research and have a lot of resources to offer, so I’ll put most of it under a cut.
Some General Comments and Thoughts
First, I wanted to point out a couple of statistics. Approximately 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents, but only about 20% of those children’s parents learn to sign. I think that's incredibly sad. A lot of deaf children are not introduced to language as early as hearing children are, even though (statistically) babies can sign better at a younger age than they can talk. As a result, most deaf babies are denied language for the first few years of their life, which are a crucial period for linguistic learning. The current Deaf culture movement lobbies strongly for deaf children to be taught sign language from birth to give them the same opportunities for learning that hearing children have.
Second, I wanted to point out something that I learned about d/Deafness while researching this story. Many many many d/Deaf people do not consider their lack of hearing a "problem" that needs to be "fixed." Many are proud to be d/Deaf. I try to participate in the movement to raise awareness that deafness is not a disability or a handicap—it's just a different way of interacting with the world—and that Deaf culture is as valid and rich and beautiful as any other culture. They just use a different language.
Third, I wanted to say something about some of the words I used in this fic. While writing this story, I struggled constantly with using words like "say," "talk," "hear," "listen," etc., when I was writing about characters who did not use their voices to communicate. For example, "I don't want to talk about it," "He didn't know what he was going to hear" (before Dan "talks" about his past), etc. It didn't feel natural to always use "sign," when "saying something" isn't actually about producing sounds with your mouth—it's about communicating. In sign language, they have creative ways of dealing with this, so if someone were to sign, "I listened to him tell that story," they might use the ASL or BSL sign for "listen," but make the sign under their eye instead of under their ear ... showing that they “listened” with their eyes. It’s amazing how flexible, expressive, and creative sign language can be! (This example was thanks to Rogan Shannon's response to a question I left in a comment on one of his videos. A link to Rogan’s excellent YouTube channel is below.)
Some Specific Videos and Resources
Some specific videos and resources that I found particularly interesting:
“What is it like to be DEAF?”: a truly phenomenal, moving, very personal video by a man named De'Angelo Brown, talking about his painful experience growing up d/Deaf surrounded by people who did not understand or support him. His positive attitude despite such a difficult past is inspirational. The video is just one man signing, in black-and-white, with no background, but this video is incredible, really. I recommend that everyone watch this.
"Deaf Lens": a TEDTalk by Wayne Betts Jr., an innovative deaf filmmaker. I feel like my Deaf!Phil could totally have ended up being a filmmaker like this later in his life.
"What's It Like Being Deaf In College?": a video about d/Deaf students' experiences in mainstream universities, which made me think about my Deaf!Phil at the University of York.
Camp Mark Seven: a deaf film camp, created entirely for deaf kids who want to become filmmakers. They sometimes make music videos, one of which—Pharrell Williams's "Happy"—went viral on YouTube for a while. Notice that they perform ASL *interpretations* of songs, not word-for-word translations, because word-for-word translation isn't really how sign language works. Facial expression, body language, and other visual cues contribute tremendously to sign language communication, and you can see a lot of that in Camp Mark Seven’s videos. I imagine my Deaf!Phil would have loved this camp when he was a kid!
"My Song": a beautiful, poignant short film about d/Deaf identity. I know I have recommended this film before, but I thought it was worth mentioning again, because it is so beautiful and amazing.
"The Enchanting Music of Sign Language": a fascinating TEDTalk by Christine Sun Kim, a deaf artist who uses sound as part of her art. So incredibly cool!
Wells Fargo’s commercial about sign language: Yes, I’m actually including a commercial here! Wells Fargo made a commercial about a same-sex couple learning sign language in order to adopt a deaf child, and it’s incredibly sweet and short enough that you can watch it without committing too much of your time.
“Opening Our Ears to the Deaf”: a TEDTalk by a hearing woman named Pamela Weisman about the hearing world’s difficulty in understanding, accepting, and interacting with the people who are deaf.
“Protecting and Interpreting Deaf Culture“: a TEDTalk by a Deaf woman named Glenna Cooper who was raised mainstream by parents who did not accept her deafness and tried to force her to fit into the hearing culture. She talks about her discovery of Deaf culture, language, and pride. She describes very entertainingly some of the difference between Deaf culture and hearing culture, such as the fact that Deaf people apparently tend to be very blunt and honest in comparison to hearing culture. She’s really funny and articulate and well worth watching!
There are a lot of other TEDTalks about d/Deaf issues, and so if you’re interested, I recommend just searching for “deaf TEDTalk,” and you’ll find lots of neat stuff.
YouTube Channels
These are my favorites of the YouTube channels I discovered while researching for this fic. I mentioned some of them in my previous notes post, but here I’ll give you a slightly different list of just my favorites, and with a bit of description of each so you can have a better idea of which ones you might be interested in checking out:
Rogan Shannon: Rogan is my favorite of the YouTube channels I discovered while writing this fic. He makes simple vlogging videos in which he just discusses various topics that interest him (always in ASL but with excellent captions). He talks about d/Deaf issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, books he's been reading, and other random stuff ... but he is always articulate and animated and intelligent and interesting. I can't recommend his channel highly enough. I subscribe to him and watch his videos pretty much immediately when they come out. He doesn’t have nearly as many subscribers as he deserves!
ASL Stew: A lesbian married couple—one Deaf and the other a hearing ASL interpreter—talk about various d/Deaf issues. Notice that though one of the partners is hearing, she usually does not SimCom in the videos & chooses instead to sign in ASL, then add a voiceover translation in editing. (They actually add voiceovers for both of them, though I believe the Deaf woman does not in fact speak orally, so no captions are necessary.) In fact, in one of their later videos the hearing partner discusses the issues with SimCom and expresses regret that she SimCommed in their earlier videos. They also have a side channel, ASL Stew Life, where they make videos about other stuff, mostly just about their lives (such as their current pregnancy), rather than about deafness-related issues.
Rikki Poynter: Rikki is, I think, the youngest of the YouTubers I’m listing here, which may make her more relatable for many readers of my fic. She often has really interesting things to say, and she’s a very active advocate for accessibility (especially good captioning of YouTube videos) and the D/deaf community in general. The two videos of hers that I found most useful in my research and particularly recommend are "From Being An Oral Deaf Adult to Using ASL" and "How I Discovered the Deaf Community.”
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard: Jessica posts a wide variety of content on her channel, including make-up tutorials, hair tutorials, commentary about vintage fashion, disability issues (including videos about accessibility and how to deal with specific disability issues like chronic nausea, because she has significant physical disabilities) as well as deafness related material. She’s absolutely beautiful and charismatic, with an incredible sense of style, and also occasionally posts charming videos that feature her much less fashion-conscious but still incredibly cool hearing wife, who is a dentist. Her channel isn’t ideal if you’re looking for sign language stuff, though, because she’s very oral and uses a very English-language-based version of sign language (called “SEE” or “Signing Exact English”) instead of actual BSL. Even when she signs, she speaks at the same time, so there are no captions needed.
Sign Duo: This is a channel featuring another deaf/hearing couple, but I actually primarily like that their channel because it mostly isn’t about D/deaf issues. When the channel first began, it was mostly about the fact that he’s Deaf and she’s hearing and how that affects their relationship, but now their channel is mostly just about these two young people (in their 20′s) living their normal lives in Southern California ... just the guy happens to be Deaf and the girl happens to be hearing. So they post videos about all kinds of stuff other vloggers post about, including their most recent videos about carving pumpkins for Halloween and doing some kind of spicy ramen challenge. It’s interesting and cool to see a Deaf/hearing relationship normalized. This is just a Deaf guy living his life with his girlfriend, like any other guy. Sometimes the girl translates for her Deaf boyfriend, but I still always turn on captions, because he often signs things she doesn’t translate.
CODA Brothers: CODA stands for "children of deaf adults," and they are a community whose place in the deaf/hearing world is an odd one, since even as hearing children they often grow up with sign language as their first language and continue to use it as their preferred language in adulthood. Many of them identify as part of the Deaf culture/community. The CODA Brothers channel is basically just two brothers in Minnesota, kind of wacky, who are hearing but were raised by deaf parents, and (like many CODA) they prefer to communicate through signing. They make humorous videos about lots of issues around d/Deafness as well as what it's like to be CODA (feeling like you don't really fit in with either the hearing or the Deaf community). They sign almost all of their videos and usually provide their own voiceovers ("for the ASL impaired"), but a lot of their humor is "inside jokes" that you only get if you're at least a little familiar with ASL, Deaf culture, CODA issues, etc. They're also often really sarcastic (such as in their "What Deaf people LOVE about Interpreters" video. I think their channel is primarily intended for a CODA audience, but I really like them. And if you’ve read my fic “Listen,” then you probably know enough about deafness, sign language, and Deaf culture to get a lot of their jokes.
Well, I think those are the last of my lingering notes from the writing of “Listen” that I’ve been meaning to share. I hope some of you find the information interesting and check out some of these videos and YouTube channels. Deaf culture is very interesting and unique, completely separate from hearing culture, and I think we could all be better informed and prepared to interact sensitively and respectfully with d/Deaf people we may encounter in our lives.
Thank you to everyone who expressed their growing interest in Deaf culture and learning sign language as a result of reading this fic. It meant a lot to me that my story impacted people’s awareness, acceptance, and understanding.
I'm HoH and can speak clearly and with some effort and help can communicate with hearing people who can't sign, but I sign to communicate with other d/Deaf and HoH people and I'm active in my local d/Deaf/HoH community. Would I be considered culturally Deaf or no?
Hi,
whether you are culturally Deaf is not something that a stranger on the internet can decide. How do you feel? Are you proud of your deafness, of your language? Do you feel you belong into Deaf community, is Deaf culture important to you?
If yes, then I would say you are culturally Deaf.
Cultural Deafness isn’t a question of how big is your hearing loss or how you communicate with hearing people. It’s a question of how you feel in your heart, how you see your identity, how other Deaf people see you. ;)
I'm legally considered 15% "hearing disabled", which apparently means that compared to people with a 25 db hearing loss or lower, I'm missing about 15% of my hearing. Can I still identify as HoH?
Hi,
I am kinda confused by these numbers, to be honest. Generally, you can identify as HoH if you feel like HoH. If you have some degree of hearing loss and it affects your life, then you can call yourself HoH.
