#dean centric

[mvdeanw]

SPN rewatch // Dean Centric // Pilot - Part 2, 3, 4

Part: 1

Dean/Spn/Mix: @ddriverpicksthemusic @deansraspberrypie @charred-angelwings @septembersghost @siospins @jensensgotyoudean @queenofallerdalehall @brilovesdeanwinchester @wickedinspirations @thoughts-and-funnies

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

for @bend-me-shape-me's spn advent calendar 2020. prompt: carols.

dedicated to @one-more-offbeat-anthem!! happy birthday <3

After Chuck's defeated, and Billie's gone, and the Empty has been bargained with (semantics, any of the Winchesters would say if you asked one of the four to elaborate) into returning Cas in exchange for eternal sleep, there's peace.

After they're done, and really done, there's time.

A moment to breathe, a minute to look at the clouds, and hours stretching endless, days on end, resonating with something resembling quiet.

And then, there's a guitar.

*

"Nope." Dean declares. "Never seen that thing in here before. And I once did Christmas inventory by myself, so I should know."

Sam snickers at Dean's cavalier tone. He'd been content to examine the instrument from a distance, unlike his brother, but that didn't mean he wasn't paying attention. "You had to do it yourself, Dean. Those were the exact words of the bet."

"I was drunk, and you hustled me!"

"You've known I play poker my entire life!"

"Well, yeah." Dean flashes his best shit-eating grin. "But you've sucked, your entire life, so —"

"— sure I have —"

"— your entire life has really just been a very long, very lame hustle!" Dean spreads his arms in a display of triumph. "And ergo, you hustled me into Christmas inventory-ing. The case is rested, your honor."

"That's not how you say —"

"Sam. Dean." Cas interjects, loud and exasperated. Sam shuts up immediately, eyes falling to his lap, while Dean exchanges a sheepish look with Cas (and Jack, who to his credit, seemed to be unaffected by the mini-feud. But that's less the part about him being God-Lite and more about him being himself. A kid who grew up watching his dads bicker endlessly and mostly, uneventfully, and has come to terms with it as a primary aspect of (at least, his) family.)

Cas, as usual, puts up with less of their crap. "Is this really necessary right now?"

Dean loves him for it, except when it's targeted at Dean and since that's kind of a lot, he isn't sure he loves it, or just loves Cas and generalises the things he does under the wider bracket of Cas.

"And if it's not," Cas goes on, using what is probably his I-led-garrisons-in-heaven voice, which automatically sends a shiver up Dean's spine. "Can we agree the guitar is, somehow, a recent addition and leave it at that?"

Sam nods slightly, apologetic. Dean just rolls his eyes, but it's a yes. (Everyone there knows it's a yes.)

"It's not cursed." Jack cuts in brightly. "Or out of the ordinary at all."

"So," Dean blinks. "We just happen to have an awesome new guitar show up, completely randomly, in this top secret Bunker no one know about, minus any ulterior motives or death curses?"

Jack grins. "Yes."

"Cool." Dean says immediately, and Sam huffs an amused laugh. He thinks he sees Cas smile as well, and a smirk grows on his face.

"Dibs."

*

Unsurprisingly, nobody counters his dibs, and Dean ends up taking the guitar to his room.

It's after a few days of insecurity, leading right into embarrassment, leading further to ignoring its existence, and further still to a mostly depressive array of memories — before it circles back to insecurity, and is about to repeat all over again, when he stops himself in his proverbial spiral, and decides to just friggin' do it.

That night, he picks up the pick.

Fiddles with it in his hands for a minute, and proceeds to abandon the idea again, because it does not feel right. Different shape, different weight.

And Dean Winchester's already enough of a misfit for this project, for his guitar pick to be a poor goddamn fit in his hand too.

But there's something about being so close that stirs up motivation in his heart, similar to the first day they found the damn thing, and next morning, he's out looking for a music shop in town.

That night, he finally plays.

It's uncertain — experimental — and he soon realizes why nobody ever says a damn thing about guitars when they say you never forget how to ride a bike.

But then, slowly, and really slowly at that, music seems to return to his fingers.

It isn't smooth by any chance, or even really accurate, but there's a faint tug in his brain that leads him to the next chord, and a twitch in his wrist that tells him when to strum, and he's awful, he's really friggin' awful, but even repeatedly saying so in his head refuses to dampen the overwhelming feeling that lights him up from the inside to start to feel like maybe he can play again. There's hope, and there's terrible, off-timed, broken music, and there's Dean in the middle of it, and maybe he can actually do this.

Recollection of how to play had come to his hands as they trembled, and tried, but the exhilaration of it, and the joy, only come back to his heart once he'd stopped, heart racing, adrenaline high, and unexplainable tears pricking his eyes.

Dean Winchester goes to bed that night, giddy in a way he hasn't been in years.

And outside his bedroom, his family of three exchange confused glances when the playing stopped abruptly, and then smiles when a sound that can only be said to bear semblance to a squeal, follows the silence.

(The first song Dean had played in over twenty five years had been Joy to the World.

It had also been the first song he'd ever learned — Cassie's choice, not his. Sam, Cas and Jack didn't know any of that. To them, it had just been a christmas carol. But there was also something so moving about that, soft in a way each of them knew Dean would fight against being, that they didn't realize they hadn't budged from Dean's door, long until faint snores replaced the quiet, and they left for their own beds, wordlessly already having decided on a plan for the next day.)

*

Cas knocks first on Dean's bedroom door, and all music immediately ceases. There's a yell from inside after ten seconds of a shuffling kind of silence.

"Yeah?"

"May I come in?" Cas asks.

Another pause.

Cas wonders worriedly if Sam and Jack were mistaken when they said that Cas had to be first, that he was their best shot at getting Dean to open up — the easiest past Dean's line of defense.

Then Dean says, a little quieter. "Yeah, sure."

Cas enters, gently closing the door behind himself before his eyes land on Dean — and he fights the urge to smile, because Dean hasn't kept away the guitar or anything. It's still on his lap, not in playing stance, with his arms folded over it — but he's not trying to hide it from Cas.

"Is everything okay?" Dean interrupts his reverie. Cas nods.

Neither of them say anything for a minute.

"Can I listen?"

Cas surprises himself with his own courage to ask — no twisted words or excuses to stay, just a simple question. Things were so rarely simple for them, but this wasn't a common occurrence either so it evened out.

"Y-yeah." Dean mutters.

Cas lights up.

"I suck, by the way." Dean adds, almost immediately. "But I'll suck less with time, I'm hoping. I mean, I'm supposed to, you know, but I — uh, I mean — maybe I —"

Cas realizes that he hadn't stopped smiling at Dean and that's what had made Dean falter, and he looks away, embarrassed.

"I'll just play, I guess." Dean manages smally, sounding as embarrassed as him.

"Please."

Dean clears his throat instead of playing.

"Yeah."

Cas can tell he's nervous. Even if he weren't good at, and very used to reading Dean, he could've gauged as much. And he wishes he had the right words, he really does, but he's aware a sincere speech of how much it means that Dean let him stay, and listen, would have the opposite effect of calming.

Then there's another knock on the door, and Cas relaxes.

"Dean?"

Sure enough, it's Jack.

Sam had explained how Dean was most likely, unfortunately, to deflect if he was there — "his denial fires up, Cas. I associate it with a parenting complex of some kind, and he just won't let go of it." — so the order had been decided as Cas, Jack and Sam. No overwhelming by arriving all three at once, or one after the other as if it were planned. No, they'd enter after some time, giving the previous person time to make Dean comfortable to them before the next enters.

Cas thinks it's a rather brilliant plan, and wonders if he should ask Sam to formulate a similar one to get Dean to open up about other things too. He doesn't, ultimately.

"Yeah?" Dean yells back.

"Have you seen Cas?"

That had been the plan.

"Yeah," Dean raises his voice to answer. "He, uh. He's right here. Come on in."

And Jack does, and eyes Cas with probably too much meaning (he means triumph) for Dean to not have noticed, before turning to the latter. "Oh. Were you about to play for Cas?"

Dean colors at that, his ears reddening almost instantly, and Cas files it away for pondering later.

"Can I be here too?"

And Dean's eyes widen a little — sign of anxiety, maybe understanding — and he licks his lips and then he nods. "I guess. I mean, okay, fine. But didn't you need Cas for something?" He adds, confused.

"I," Jack hesitates. Oh no, Cas thinks. Sam's prepared him for this, but Jack looks like he's about to, as Dean would say, wing it. And all-powerful or not, he knows his son is a terrible liar. "No, I just wanted to know if you'd seen him."

Dean narrows his eyes.

"Now I do know. That, uh, you've seen him." Jack braves on, determined to reach the bottom of the proverbial hole he'd dug for himself apparently. "So now, I don't need to know anything. Now I can stay."

Dean sighs.

"I can, right?"

There's a lightness in Dean's voice instead of tension when he says, "Yeah."

"Thank you." Jack says brightly, and all Cas can do is shake his head when Jack turns to him for feedback, and the both of them proceed to wear (nearly matching, but not on purpose) excited stares as they focus on Dean.

*

The final straw is when there's a third knock on the door, and Sam pokes his head in. One unconvincing "Where's everyone at?" later, he's joined Cas and Jack in staring with a unnecessary (and hopefully unintended) comfort-the-vic's-family smile at Dean.

God, he loves these dumbasses and would give his life for everyone present in the room, but none of them can act for shit.

It's glaringly obvious they've all respectively shown up to listen to him play.

Which is bullshit in itself, because Dean wasn't being modest when he told Cas he sucks — he does suck. But then, he doesn't think any of them would mind. Sam would probably unlock new levels of the puppy eyes if he knew how happy even playing awfully, made Dean. Jack would be blunt, of course, but undeterringly sweet. And Cas? He'd probably smile at him all the way through, just — that smile of his, that always seems to make time freeze and Dean's heart stutter.

So Dean decides magnanimously to not call them out.

Right away, anyway.

Instead, he turns to them with a question. "Any requests?"

(He can't play one of the only songs he remembers having learned without errors yet, so obviously asking for requests is the right way to go. But you see, once you've given up on impressing, it's only fair to see yourself to the end of the chaos.)

"Christmas carols." Jack answers before anyone else.

"It's May."

"Sam's," Jack swallows. Dean should really get on teaching the kid how to lie. "Sam's making me listen to carols."

"In May?" He asks his brother this time.

Sam shrugs, struggling to keep a diplomatic face.

"You're going to grow up to be the young adult who doesn't take off the Christmas lights in January." Dean informs Jack, who absorbs his words with all the seriousness Dean should have expected. "And, fine. We can do carols."

Cas speaks up. "Any carol you'd like, Dean."

"Nah," Dean shakes his head. "Jack requested it. We'll do what he says." And he insists to his conscience that he said so because he wants to make Jack happy, and not because he's well aware the kid isn't being subjected to carols by Sam in friggin' May, and probably doesn't know any.

"Oh." Jack's face falls. He looks at Sam in the most conspicuous way anyone's ever looked at anyone. "I —"

"Uhhuh?"

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!" Cas blurts, on behalf of Jack, and there's a two second gap where Sam facepalms and Jack exchanges a conspirational glance with Cas, and then Dean's throwing his head back and laughing.

And soon, Sam's joining in with an exasperated kind of chuckling as if he's gotten stuck in the wrong team but he doesn't regret a thing, and then Cas starts too, mostly from looking at Dean losing his shit (Dean strictly ignores thinking about that part and focuses on imprinting Cas's laugh to memory) and probably also because the ridiculosity of the entire situation probably struck him, and of course Jack's smiling at all of them, and it's, altogether, everything Dean could ever have wished for.

The evening ends with Dean playing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer (of course) for at least an hour while consistently getting better at the repeating music, and although it's him humming under his breath (like he always has while playing) that starts it off, soon all of them are offering their own awful renditions to the chaos. Cas is off-key, Sam somehow manages to screw up the lyrics, and Jack is as flat as a friggin' plateau.

And it all comes together in a wholly unmelodious kind of awesome — to Dean the same way they say a mother's love comes through for an ugly child.

After Rudolph, it's Silent Night (another song Dean's learned, it hits him, once he's trying to find the right chord) and even Cas manages to look disappointed at the lyrics Sam and he come up with to make up for not knowing the real ones, and since Jack's never heard this one, he simply listens in rapt attention leaving Dean wondering if he probably ended up learning the wrong version on account of all his concentration.

And last of all, it's We Wish You A Merry Christmas, and Dean plays the chorus enough times that he's perfect at it, because for once, no one messes up the beat or the lyrics, and everyone has the most fun.

All in all, it's an evening to remember.

What Dean learns through it all is primarily the lesson that letting your family think they tricked you into having an audience is sometimes an excellent choice to make, and that things can be crap, but still be enjoyed. That doesn't mean he's not going to practice his ass off learning to play at least the choruses of the Led Zepp tracks he gifted Cas (the idea came to him in bed last night, and Cas has always sounded like he enjoyed them, okay?) so he can play them 'for Cas' as the kid so casually put — but then, some things are different from other things, just the way some love's different too.

And while some things are about efforts, and saying the words that scare you, others are about letting go, and singing carols in bright and sunny May.

The only thing Dean's sure about is that just about all of it comes down to being free.

[genderenvywinchester]

cringe fail magnus making a cringe fail spn amv instead of studying for finals

[brilovesdeanwinchester]

Can you please tag accounts who are SPN positive and are non wincest, non toxic destial and Dean Winchester centric. I would love to follow those accounts. Also accounts who write Dean ffs please.

[katymacsupernatural]

I'm wanting to write Dean, but having a hard time after watching that finale.

So...I'm asking for help! Send me your fluffiest Dean fanfic ideas please!

[phoenixaburnsred]

They have a library of how many times and ways that Dean has died..

They are really dedicated.

Bookkeeper Reapers, I can see it.

[stubzs87]

Howl: Chapter 8 Update

Not sure when I’ll be able to update this thing again due to current circumstances so I’m posting this hear now. 

read here  

Characters: Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Baron Corbin, Bray Wyatt, cameo appearances and mentions, OCs.  Pairing: Dean x Seth (Ambrollins).  Genre: Supernatural romance Series: Inhuman  Summary: Life for Dean is finally starting to settle back to normal. In fact it's better than normal. He's WWE World Champ, top SmackDown draft pick, and he's solid in a relationship with Seth. Things are great! Unfortunately he's about to learn things aren't as good as he'd like to believe, and it has nothing to do with him and Seth being separated by the draft. Sequel to Bad Moon Rising.

Tagged readers: @theawkwardfangirlwithavengeance​ @blueblazezz​ @veniastark​ @violas87​ @lex1cate​

Just let me know if you want to be a tagged reader too. 

[lol-jackles]

I used to like Jensen, but recently I'm really annoyed at him. Maybe as I grow older I'm seeing the lack of genuineness, too clingy personality. Mostly because of his and his fans, the AAs' attitude towards Jared. The whole S9, S10 could've also played a role. I'm now unfollowing all of the jensen blogs I used to follow cuz I don't want to see him on my dash.

Jensen reminds me a bit of an active from the The Dollhouse, a blank slate until he’s needed to perform a certan task: pander to the Destiel or Cockles and then drops Misha like a hot potato full of cooties.  He’s hot and cold with Misha until fans put on the Ophah mask and ask, “so what’s the truth?”  Anyone remember the infamous fan video capturing Jensen and Misha away from the fans and Jensen is pointingly ignoring Misha who awkwardly stands by?  The same blank slate is favored by the AAs because they can project their version of Jensen/Tom/Dean/Alex onto Jensen and he’s perfect in their head.

The whole S9, S10 could’ve also played a role.

Jensen campaigned for a Dean mythical/Dean centric storyline during season 8 and 9 and you may have picked up on it, despite AAs’s best effort to try to paint Jensen as totally uninvolved in the PCA campaigns, even goes as far as to blame his brother-in-law for “backing Jensen into the corner” with the Facebook contest.   I never begrudge an actor for wanting their roles expanded and developed, but at the same time they need to know their place and  keep their ego in check, the show is not about them. Dr Spock is vital to Star Trek and we can’t imagine Star Trek without Spock, BUT he is not the central protagonist.  Try imagine the Star Trek universe centered around Dr Spock instead Capt Kirk.  It does not compute.  A Supernatural centered around Dean doesn’t work and every time they tried it, demo or viewership numbers went down and they have to tied it back to Sam to salvage the show.

Carver said at Comic con before season 9 premiered that *paraphrasing* Dean is a boring character.  You bet he knew about Jensen’s campaigns and Robert Singer backing his efforts.  Actors, producers, showrunners, everyone, indirectly attack actors by going after their characters.  Remember that I said nobody thinks they’re the villain?  Actors don’t think their characters are villains either even when they are playing the bad guy. Carver was publicly warning Jensen that a Dean centric season will not work because he had neither the range or the allure spark to make his lead character interesting without the aid of clever or snarky lines and the can’t-fail trope of the bad boy with the heart of gold.

You don’t need to have great range to be a lead/central focus of a show.  David Duchovny is even less of an one note actor, his monotone voice would normally be grating, but the role of Fox Mulder was perfect him and a foil for the excellent Gillian. Most of all David never pretended he was more than his capabilities and never believed in his own hype.  Personally I think he was a great fool to leave XFiles but that’s another story.  The point being he knew his place on the show and his limits - audience picked up on this and it was part of his appeal and allure that draws people to his character despite the bland voice and bland looking exterior.Then you have the problem of the audience turning against Dean if he goes too dark.  The audience will always root for Sam even when he makes stupid choices because he’s the central protagonist and Jared has the allure spark to make you empathize with his character.   Dean doesn’t have the same luxery because he is a supporting character.  If he turns on Sam the general audience (95% of the viewing audience) will flip on him.  Fans complain that demon Dean arc was too short or MoC Dean arc went no where and they couldn’t tell the difference between regular Dean and MoC Dean and blamed the shoddy writing.  1/3 of the problem was Jensen’s limited range, 1/3 was lack of the allure spark, and 1/3 of the problem is what I just mentioned, you can’t have your audience turning on half of your 2 main characters.  If Spock goes dark and betrayed Kirk and spent a season tormenting and mocking Kirk, only the most rabid brain dead Spockboy is going stick with the character.  Remember kids, the fandom makes up only a sliver of the overall audience.