#deansnightingale

[septembersghost]

lady, I’m Tolstoy.

[septembersghost]

Sometimes people leave you halfway through the wood, Others may deceive you, You decide what’s good. You decide alone, but no one is alone.

“I’m good with who I am. I’m good with who you are. ‘Cause our lives – they’re ours. And maybe I’m just too damn old to want to change that.”

Dean x Stephen Sondheim lyrics inspired by @hugthearchivist

(1. Being Alive, 2. Not While I’m Around, 3. Children Will Listen, 4. The Road You Didn’t Take, 5. I Remember, 6. The Gun Song, 7. Not a Day Goes By, 8. Anyone Can Whistle, 9. Loving You, 10. Move On)

[septembersghost]

this post of art on my dash i've seen a few times, with the "original powers" of team free will, and it has demonic!sam, celestial!cas, and dean with a gun -

and it's a joke, totally, but it made me think...that's not his power. the weapons aren't what give him meaning or strength. daddy's blunt little instrument, an etched silver pistol, a killer. that's not who he is.

if dean had a superpower, a contrast to the demonic forces that haunted sam's steps, the celestial ones that tried to wrest control of cas, it was humanity. earth to the sea and the sky. his strength, his center, was that humanity. and the proof of it is very simple and small sometimes, but it's the heart of all things - because without that humanity, the grounding and transcendent power of his love, sam and cas would have been lost. demonic and celestial forces kept trying to manipulate them, take their will, drain their goodness, and they overcame those obstacles and darknesses in monumental measure because dean was there, because he believed in them, and loved them, and stood with them. it's salvation, given and received. the firewall between the light and the darkness. you can't see it in black smoke or brilliant white light, but it's there eternally, as certain as gravity.

[septembersghost]

dean seeking the story of his parents' lives, and as he's uncovering it and recounting the moments of it, it is slowly revealed that something dark has happened and has occluded his memory, so he doesn't know what transpired with their family or how everything unfolded, and little by little we realize he doesn't remember sam, and that's the truest horror of it all, because remembering sam is vital to who he is, to his heart, but it also means he has to remember his parentification and abuse, and all the brutal things that happened to both of them, and as he siphons through what's real and what may be fabricated by celestial (or possibly infernal) machinations, he realizes that essential piece is missing, and when he puts it all together, he confronts his parents about their selfishness and harm and neglect and the traumas that were endured, and sam is missing, and heaven is not what it seems at all, perhaps it was never even heaven to begin with, and dean proclaims that he and his brother deserved better, and deserved to live, and free will was never an illusion, and he is determined to break out of this trap and rescue the both of them, and the curse blocking his memory finally shatters, and he races off in the impala to figure out how to triumphantly save them and tear them off that lonely road and place them back in the lives they were finally grabbing hold of, because everything he does he does out of love, prequel/reboot hypothetical fix-it concept my beloved

[septembersghost]

What if I came in, just to say that your tags, they never fail to hit me right in the heart? What then? Sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes they make me cry. But they never miss the mark 💛💯

ahhhh thank you sweetheart! 😭💖 i feel like i've been too tired to write as many long essays in the tags lately, but i love this! it always means a lot to me that you read them and they speak to you at all. we are crying/laughing/screaming into the void/clutching our hearts together.

[septembersghost]

And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do

(the four month mood...for my dean girls who know 💚)

[septembersghost]

Happy Birthday, Jess! I am so grateful that we got to meet and bond over our love of Dean and stories and so many other things (and rewrite that story a hundred times over to give Dean an ending he deserves)! ☺️💛✨

thank you, my lovely Annie!!! I'm very grateful for that too, and it's been such a comfort to share the depth of that love and those emotions and interests in many things, and how important they are, and to keep Dean close and alive together. (someday, when we figure out those magic spells and bust down the walls between worlds, THEN THEY WILL SEE! 😄✨) 💓🧡💓🧡

[moonlayl]

My assumption is that you love period dramas??? I don't know where I got this from, but possibly because you watch a lot of Turkish shows and my quintessential drama being Kurt Seyit v Sura probably caused my brain to have this random association 😅

Sorry it's been a while and I forgot to answer this!!

You're partially correct, I feel like. I do like period dramas, but only ones that are Turkish and about actual historical people, specifically Diriliş: Ertuğrul (I am obsessed with this show, and with the actual history in real life surrounding it).

And also i like Syrian period dramas. I grew up watching those. (Though I've stopped liking them as much.)

And it's so cool that you've watched dizis (or a dizi) before! I didn't think any of my Dean mutuals would be into turkish dramas, so it's nice to know!