#dear paul

[chiddicksfamilytree]

"Enthusiastic Amateur" Podcast

“Enthusiastic Amateur” Podcast

I was recently invited by Australian Genealogist Carole McCulloch, to take part in a podcast interview, to discuss all things Genealogy related and my role as the writer of the ‘Dear Paul’ column for family tree magazine. Carole is an author, storyteller, family historian, teacher and now podcast host, if you want to visit her website and listen to our little chat the links are below. The…

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[chiddicksfamilytree]

My End of Year Report 2020

It’s that time of year again, time for my ‘End of Year Report’, time to see if I managed to stay on course with my Genealogy Goals, or see if I ended up being side tracked chasing ‘shiny objects’ and lost momentum with my research? So let’s first take a look at my genealogy Goals for 2020, they can be found here. Genealogy Goals for 2020 My Genealogy Report on the first six months of the year…

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[notoriousnak]

What I should’ve done

When you told me you didn’t want me in your life anymore I should’ve fought for one last night with you. We could’ve drove up to your spot at the top of that hill like we did that last time and eaten In n Out again. I could have had you turn your car on so there was music in the background as we talked about life and the stars like we did. I would have asked what your favorite not rap song was and made you dance with me to it. You would’ve said no, of course, but I’m sure I would’ve convinced you acting my silly self. You thought it was so cute when I was silly. You’re eyes would have lit up watching me dance alone forgetting all your sadness and I would have grabbed you and got you to join. You would get sad after this because you would think about how we would never  be a thing. I could’ve told you my fears in our broken relationship we had and why I would never let it progress. You would go quiet and I would say whatever silly joke or cartoon reference I could to get you to at least give me a fake smile. I would tell you how amazing of a person you are and tell you how lucky any girl would be that you let love you. You would ask why it couldn’t be me and I would tell you how I’m too weak or broken and any other shitty excuse that I’ve flooded my head with. I’d reassure you that it’ll come one day. The day you learn to love yourself someone else will be able to love you. I wanted to be that girl to fix you but you weren’t ready to fixed. You’re the only person that can truly fix the sadness and until you do others will be just as afraid as I was. Sadness is contagious and all I could pray for every day was that you wouldn’t be sad anymore. I took it on myself to try to take your sadness from you and from that I found sadness of my own. Not a day goes by where I don’t want to send you a text to make sure you’re doing well and the sadness hasn’t overcome you. My biggest fear is finding you in one of the beds in my ER. I know this is hard for you and you think you’re unfixable and unlovable, but, the day you wash those thoughts out of your head, is the day everything will brighten up for you and I’m confident that day will come for you. Until then, just know I will always be here for you on those bad days where the bad thoughts won’t leave your brain or on the good days you just need someone to spend it with.

[fatnajl]

Dear Paul

On the night from june 30th-july 1st, at around 1:45am (GMT) time, I went outside at a hostel near King’s Cross, London. A passer-by asked me directions. As it was my first (and so far only) time ever in London, I had no clue how to direct him where he wanted to go. I told him this.

This man asked me if he could sit down next to me, I said it was okay. He looked like a kind of creepy guy, but he was extremely polite, and the person working at the desk of the hostel could see us outside so I figured he couldn’t do any harm.

We talked for 20 minutes, maybe half an hour? His name is Paul, he is from Nottingham, and he’s a lighting technician. He was very interested in my opinion of the English language and why I chose to study Dutch as well at uni. He told me it had been a long time since he had a decent conversation like the one we had, and that his job included a lot of travelling which made it difficult for him to sustain friendships.

When our conversation was over, he asked me if he could have my email address. I told him it was nothing personal, but that I wasn’t giving it because I didn’t know him. He told me he understood, and said “you know what I’ll give you mine, if you ever want to talk”. He started giving me his email. About halfway through he said “who am I kidding, you’re gonna forget me”. And he said goodbye.

Now, he only gave me the first half of his email address, and he left out whether it was gmail, hotmail, yahoo.... So naturally I haven’t had the opportunity to email him.

Not that I have anything specific to tell him, I guess I just wanted to prove to him that I haven’t forgotten about him.

[fucktupeftru]

beginning of relationship: let the movie play while we fuck

now: pause movie while we fuck ‘cause we still wanna watch it together after all snuggled up and our legs like pretzels and quick kisses on heads and cheeks just cause we feel like it and hand holding and waiting probably 25 mins before we wanna fuck again

[vanchlo]

do you ever just see a boy and really wanna hug them

[fucktupeftru]

the best kind of sex is when you both wake up really early like 4-5am and you're both really sleepy and it just starts with some touching and then you're full-on fucking, shaking the bed and everything, then when you're done you both go back to sleep and when you wake up it's like it was all a sexy dream

[vanchlo]

yo who wants to go with me to prom this year?