Discover Top Posts Tagged with #dear-prudence

Bill has no remorse or compassion.

1) The Anti-Masker was obviously suicidal before talking to your brother-in-law.

2) The Anti-Masker did not care if she killed your brother-in-law.

3) If the Anti-Masker doesn’t care about her own safety, his, or yours, it’s best just keep a safe distance, and as they say in the South.... “Bless Her Heart.”

#dear-prudence #advice #featured-rubric

The snacks come out of my paycheck and were supposed to be for my students.

“After I realized at the beginning of the year that many of my students were having trouble concentrating, I started keeping a stash of healthy snacks near my desk. The costs add up quickly, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make if it helps my kids focus. ...I began noticing [the snacks] disappearing dramatically between the time I left each afternoon and the time I clocked in the next morning. Because I rarely stay late enough to see the night staff in person, I started leaving notes on the snacks, stating that they were for students... They were still being taken. I weighed my options and realized I was either going to have to stop buying food for the kids or tell someone, so I mentioned what was happening to our head of facilities. Unbeknownst to me, our head of security hid a camera in the classroom, caught the custodian who was stealing, and promptly fired him. My students’ food is no longer disappearing, but now I have another problem: All my co-workers hate me! ... apparently I broke some unspoken rule about tolerating food theft. Was I wrong to report it? I’m seriously considering quitting because so many people are suddenly being hostile”

Prudence responded...

...while you’re not personally responsible for the collective social failure that’s led to so many of your students’ and colleagues’ food insecurity, I do think it’s important to “tolerate” food theft inasmuch as it seems to me an act of desperation that requires additional support, not punishment, and certainly not unemployment. Your former colleague was already struggling with hunger (or supporting a hungry relative) while working; now he’s got joblessness on top of that to contend with. You say the administration installed cameras and fired the man “unbeknownst to [you],” but you could reasonably have anticipated that reporting would lead to such a consequence, so I think it’s important to acknowledge your direct, intentional role in this man’s firing.

Everyone getting screwed over by the system... Prudence also suggests the teacher should have taken snacks home at the end of the day (probably the best option), she also suggested the teacher work to set up a community fridge for anyone in food insecurity in the school. I feel like this is a bit unfair. It’s sort of pitting the teacher against the problem of food insecurity for everyone in the school- she was already going out of her way and using her own funds to help tackle food insecurity directly with the kids she works with. Teachers do not earn a lot and often have full schedules with unpaid overtime (at least in the UK, teachers are expected to do lesson plans and marking out of hours), so expecting her to now be working to set up additional community support stuff seems unfair. To me it’s the head of security who did the wrong thing, by immediately firing the custodian instead of talking to them about the situation and trying to reach a solution other than firing someone. Thoughts?

#dear-prudence #advice #food insecurity #food #poverty #teachers

Should I break up with her?

Q. My husband’s affair partner talked to my daughter: My husband, “Ted,” had an 18-month-long affair with his co-worker “Angela.” The affair began when I was pregnant with our first child, “Lois,” and ended six months ago, when I found out. At the height of the affair Ted would take our infant daughter to the office on the weekends to give me a break. I have since learned that Angela would meet him (at the office or hotels) and they’d have sex while Lois slept in another room. I am eight months pregnant with our second child and could not have afforded to leave Ted before the pandemic began; I certainly can’t now. Ted, to his credit, has done a lot to begin to rebuild my trust in him, including being an open book. He and Angela could both lose their jobs if their employer found out about the affair, so I don’t want to expose them and lose what financial security our family has. At the same time, I made it clear Angela is to stay the hell away from Lois. She used to fawn over Lois when we visited Ted at work, and the memories make my skin crawl. I have spoken to Angela only once in the past six months, and that was all I said to her.

Ted now works from home. On Friday he had a Zoom call with his team, which includes Angela. While I was making Lois lunch she wandered into Ted’s office, and when I went to grab her, I caught Angela asking Lois questions: “How old are you? Are you excited to be a big sister?” I grabbed Lois without saying anything, gave her lunch, went to our bathroom, and burst into tears. I am livid at myself for letting Lois wander away because I can’t afford to be angry at Angela. Ted tried his best to comfort me, and he agrees Angela was out of line, but he doesn’t feel there’s anything he can do. Lois was in Ted’s office for less than two minutes:. Is it a violation of our previous agreement that Angela talked to Lois? Or was she just being a polite co-worker? I don’t know anymore.

Can we start a GoFundMe to get this woman and her children away from her absolute garbage bag of a husband? What an absolute monster.

I disagree with Danny that Ted can’t (privately) tell Angela she cannot speak to his kid if she wanders into frame. My coworkers with young kids have them in and out of frame all the time and we don’t all start talking to the kid mid-meeting. Under these circumstances it’s more than reasonable and she also has plenty to lose.

#dear-prudence

It bothers me quite a bit.

I haven’t even read this yet but like for the love of fuck everyone who has ever written to an advice columnist saying “my name is also someone else’s name! I am mad!” needs to like...spend some time considering that some people have war in their countries, and all advice columnists who receive these letters need to just respond with “some people have war in their countries”

(for those wondering about my pre-yom kippur situation I am reading this while eating an entire pint of ice cream while my pasta cooks)

#advice #dear-prudence #featured-rubric

She gets angry when I don’t respond right away and never thanks me for listening.

The discussion that starts at 43:40 is the FUNNIEST fucking thing I’ve ever heard.

#slate-podcast #dear-prudence #prudie-podcast #advice

“They seem blissfully unaware of the higher costs of living and college tuition for our generation.”

One of my Slate+ pals want to help out here?

#prudie-bonus-question #advice #dear-prudence #slate-plus

He wants me to quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom. I feel guilty I can’t say yes to his dream.

Oh yes this guy definitely sounds like he’s mature enough to handle children.

Also, as someone who would be thrilled to have “only one” and has zero and has had to make peace with life not turning out like I had envisioned I want to kick this guy in the nuts.

#dear-prudence #advice