Dear ____,
You had once told me, "I wonder what I look like in your eyes."
We were lying on the bed of your truck, looking at the night sky.
"Why do you wonder that?" I had asked softly after a moment of silence; turning my head to look at you.
You smiled, "The world always seems to have an opinion about everything," Lifting your arm, hand outstretched towards the sky, "Society has different views about people, ideas, objects," You counted off, "People vs. people, people vs. ideas," I watched as your smile slowly turned into a frown, your eyes hardening.
"So its only natural to wonder what I look like in your eyes." You turned your head to meet my gaze.
I wasn't at a loss for words. I wasn't surprised. This was just like you. Just like you to think about what you look like in my eyes.
"You are you," I spoke up, looking away. I hold up a finger, "And before you say some snide remark, let me finish."
Taking your silence as your answer, I speak up again.
"You are eyes that remind me of thunderstorms. Your smile that allows me to breath."
I heard you scoff but I continued, "You are reliable, kind, trustworthy, understanding, honest... You put those who you love and care for before yourself. Reckless." I shake my head, "You are so reckless. You are fierce, strong-willed, open minded, arrogant from time to time.”
I knew it was just like you to wonder what you look like in my eyes. I knew my words were trying to piece themselves together in your head. Like a puzzle being built to find the "bigger picture".
That was the problem. There was no "bigger picture". It was only you.
"You are you," I breathe out, “I see you the way you don’t see yourself. I see you. All of you... and only you. Not someone society built but rather someone who built themselves on their values, beliefs, actions. I see you, ____. Just the same way you see me.”
I meet your gaze and I couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on your face.
“I remember you being awkward with words,” you had mumbled out.
“You’re rubbing off on me.”
I never knew if what I had said made any sense or satisfied your curiosity. But in that moment everything had settled. My only wish is that you don’t crumble under society’s cynical glare like I had. I wish for you not to fall in the ever growing feeling of numbness like I had.
I wish to be able to stand alongside you. Like old times.
Just one more time.
Sincerely,
...
