Dear ____,

17| Kai or Bowie | Letters, short stories, random thoughts, a place to keep my writing.

[bowen-kai-goodnight]

[bowen-kai-goodnight]

Dear Stranger,

I was surprised.

Really surprised that you were talking to me.

I’m introverted so I was awkward...but I was also wary.

It was brief.

Our conversation.

But just meeting you, I was introduced to a whole other world.

So dear Stranger,

I hope your journey fills you with satisfaction...

Yeah, that.

Sincerely,

...

[bowen-kai-goodnight]

Dear ____,

I remember you once told me, “Your gift is your imagination. My gift is the fact you allow me to travel through all the worlds you create.”

Those words allowed me to go back to visit these people I created in these different worlds.

I’ve written. Created.

I’ve erased. Destroyed.

“So you finally went back to him, huh?” You mused one night as you read a new piece of mine. “I won’t lie, I did miss seeing this character. He’s kept you in line for so long now I can’t even think of him as just a character anymore.”

Scary, isn’t it?

How these characters saved us. They were there through thick and thin.

Your voice was gentle when you spoke that night. “Don’t forget them. They are a piece of you just like you are to me.”

I haven’t forgotten them...don’t worry.

Sincerely,

...

[bowen-kai-goodnight]

Eyes

They say to never describe the color of someone’s eyes.

“It doesn’t really help when it comes to writing.”

Sure, I get that, but even if I described your eyes, my words wouldn’t do them any justice.

“You’re such a sap.”

Ah, only for you.

[bowen-kai-goodnight]

Finish

I never got to finish.

I never got to finish telling you.

You never gave me the chance,...

I never gave you the chance.

And I can’t hate you for it.

“Things happen.”

Yeah, no kidding. 

I never got to finish.

You were already so far gone.

So far from my reach that I couldn’t call out anymore. 

My throat sore,

My voice raspy, unidentifiable. 

I watched as we got separated. 

We were farther and farther apart every passing day. 

I didn’t know,...

You didn’t know. 

I didn’t get to finish telling you...

...It doesn’t matter anymore, does it?

[bowen-kai-goodnight]

[bowen-kai-goodnight]

Never helped...

It never helped.

Running never helped.

That is until running made me run into you.

It was coincidence.

It had to be because,

it never helped.

So why would it help now?

I remember your eyes and how careful and nervous you sounded when you spoke.

“Are you ok? I’m sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going?”

I stared up at you.

After all this time, it never helped.

“Yeah. I’m ok, sorry I was just surprised,” I answered after I got over my shock and you seemed to relax.

“I’m glad,” you sighed out with a smile.

Your smile.

I remember your smile.

It’s contagious.

This had to be coincidence.

Running never helped.

This is a coincidence...

No, turns out it was fate.

I spoke up hurriedly, remembering I had crashed into you. “I’m really sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going and-“

You had put your hands up, patting my shoulders gently, “Hey,” you smiled, “It’s alright, it’s ok,” you assured me as you watched, amusement clearly written all over your face. “Maybe we can just call it even,” you mused as you stuffed your hands in the pockets of you jacket, “Over some coffee?” You added with a flirty smile.

It never helped.

Running never helped...

Until running led me to you.

“I’d like that.”

~

[bowen-kai-goodnight]

Dear ____,

You had once told me, "I wonder what I look like in your eyes."

We were lying on the bed of your truck, looking at the night sky.

"Why do you wonder that?" I had asked softly after a moment of silence; turning my head to look at you.

You smiled, "The world always seems to have an opinion about everything," Lifting your arm, hand outstretched towards the sky, "Society has different views about people, ideas, objects," You counted off, "People vs. people, people vs. ideas," I watched as your smile slowly turned into a frown, your eyes hardening.

"So its only natural to wonder what I look like in your eyes." You turned your head to meet my gaze.

I wasn't at a loss for words. I wasn't surprised. This was just like you. Just like you to think about what you look like in my eyes.

"You are you," I spoke up, looking away. I hold up a finger, "And before you say some snide remark, let me finish."

Taking your silence as your answer, I speak up again.

"You are eyes that remind me of thunderstorms. Your smile that allows me to breath."

I heard you scoff but I continued, "You are reliable, kind, trustworthy, understanding, honest... You put those who you love and care for before yourself. Reckless." I shake my head, "You are so reckless. You are fierce, strong-willed, open minded, arrogant from time to time.”

I knew it was just like you to wonder what you look like in my eyes. I knew my words were trying to piece themselves together in your head. Like a puzzle being built to find the "bigger picture".

That was the problem. There was no "bigger picture". It was only you.

"You are you," I breathe out, “I see you the way you don’t see yourself. I see you. All of you... and only you. Not someone society built but rather someone who built themselves on their values, beliefs, actions. I see you, ____. Just the same way you see me.”

I meet your gaze and I couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on your face.

“I remember you being awkward with words,” you had mumbled out.

“You’re rubbing off on me.”

I never knew if what I had said made any sense or satisfied your curiosity. But in that moment everything had settled. My only wish is that you don’t crumble under society’s cynical glare like I had. I wish for you not to fall in the ever growing feeling of numbness like I had. 

I wish to be able to stand alongside you. Like old times. 

Just one more time.

Sincerely,

...