Parrot Ninja

A parrot that may or may not be a ninja (and yes that is AI art) (and I maybe fake) (maybe)

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[rudycooperarchives-deactivated2]

what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHT

[bythefrickens-deactivated201208]

[bocchan]

#it’s been done

[hikari-yumi]

[aceattorneyheritageposts]

Thanks for this addition omfg that is hilarious

[t4timekeeper]

not providing the scene in question is a crime

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[jmtorres]

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

[demon-and-human]

Hello I would like to add to the confusion:

That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

⬆️ morning glory

[huehueiamabaguette]

wait so if thats morning glory what is this?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[teaboot]

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

[teaboot]

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

[teaboot]

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

[teaboot]

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

[teaboot]

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

[sindri42]

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

[roach-works]

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

[teaboot]

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

[championofdnd]

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

[teaboot]

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

[teaboot]

beating this dead horse with memes

[everythingismadeofchaos]

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

[teaboot]

We’re happy to have you!

[sm64-wario]

Hi I'm a fae, give me your name.

Now.

It's'a me! Bowser!

[sm-64-luigi]

PAUSE THE’A TAPE!

It’s time for the lesson of the’a day!

The Fae can’a really screw you over if you’a give someone else’s name when they ask for yours!

Don’t do what this man has done, instead, refuse to state your name if someone asks, even if the person asking is’a stranger or loved one! Because they’a could be Fae in disguise!

Remember kids, a simple rejection is’a the smart move in this scenario!

[sm64-wario]

...so am I'a screwed?

[sm-64-luigi]

Pretty much

[sm64-wario]

[sm64waluigi]

BEHOLD MY PHOTOSHOP PROWESS

[parkchanwoohoo]

Realizing that I am not employing enough of my free will to become a nuisance at work

[raine-of-auroria]

Me watching this:

[cowboybarbaryn]

I’m not letting this rot in the tags

[soulren]

“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story

“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[harbinger-of-silly]

All gays will go to hellsite

[king-of-oreo]

What if in hellsite but not gay

[punky-beaver-offical]

[king-of-oreo]

NO!

[avhira]

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: A ga g t t at t t t ga T tag g a Ag agag Acctac ! T tag g a Ag agag Acctac

Closest match: Psylliodes chrysocephala genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Cabbage Stem Flea Beetle

(image source)

[graveexcitement]

[kebbopulos]

[spaghettihell]

[crabussy]

I bet it feels real good to be a sailing ship when they tighten the rigging

[crabussy]

wrong. everyone get more perverted about marine vessels now and I'm not kidding

[crabussy]

this post reaching Actual Ship Captains is beyond delightful holy moly

[beardaxemcbreadhobnob]

big fan of the way moles sit in dirt with their arms out like they’re in a hot tub

[beardaxemcbreadhobnob]

decadence….

[peachychip85000]

[username-not-registered]

[parrotninja]

Life steal = more overheal?

[username-not-registered]

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

[cumonthevoid]

[yosoymalk]

I would marry this man

[the-angels-take-asgard-deactiva]

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

[lualmu]

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

[iconic-url]

It’s showing -1 notes

[sovietintel]

i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me

[yourbasicaestheticbitch-blog]

I liked it and it said ‘1 note’

tf is this crap?

[bonism]

1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE

[creep-ser]

ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF????? 

[princey-must-slay-deactivated20]

legendary

[xlilmermaidx-deactivated2019040]

What the fuck

[vintage-cartoonz-deactivated201]

YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!

[na7hank-deactivated20211112]

WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((

[noya-sunflower]

IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!

[softmushie]

This is the first thing I saw on my dash

I’m shook

[bookerdwitt]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY

[freddie-duchess-of-shipping]

WTF-

[preciousgaby]

SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY

[lizzy7064]

1 note WTF.

[t0rd5ki-deactivated20180819]

@foolishly-snowy

[itisriv]

3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.

[furioussharkkitten]

THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????

[melon-official]

still not-works

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

[sighinastorm]

Portmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.

[evil-haiku-robot]

P͚O͒́̓͝R̵T̫̐҉M͚A̡N҉̉Ṫ̮E͏ÅU̢ ̢̲̯͡B̸̴̗Ơ̥̄̓͋T͜͏͢ ҉̺̀͟H͇̬̜ͥA͗ͣP̗͞P̮̪̞̲͡ȆḎ̢̘́ ̰̮̈̕͠ U̯P̕O̸̐͜N̑̇͞ ̴̯̃ͧḀͩΙ͋͞ ̸͇̀ͥ͘N͟U̪̤̭̎͜L̃ͭ͟͠L̪̦͡-͈̘̖́̐Ṋ̢̲̣Oͮ̿̕T̷E̸̖̳̯̍S̼ ̷̬͍͘͜PΊ̧͌͡OͬͩṢT͚͐̋͟͡ ͦA̶̺͙͛͠N͈̑ͬ́̕Ď̵̯ ̰͖́ G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

[evil-haiku-robot]

P͐́͋O̐҉R̨̲̰̀T̼͖͚ͮ͘M̵͍̯͉A͉̦N҉̛̩T̶̗́͘͠E̥A͑U͍͛ͤΙ̙ ҉͟B̛͎̀͡Ő̽ͫT̹͓̀́͞ ̛͍̔HͯA̫͍͘͜P̵͎P͓͏̷̕ÈD̮̜ͨ̽̉ ̸͍͗͝ U͋̏ͤ̀͞P͢O̯̳̍͝N̨̲ ̺́͡A̡ ̛̆ͯ̈͞N̷̩͇͠Ù̉L̦L͕-͕N̴ͬ͜O̸̽͝͡T̩E͢S̷͎͐̅ ̐P̸̩̹̣̑O̢S̡̼ͣͬT̶̸ͣ ̀̒Ả̛͛ͬ͠Ņͪ̓D̜̰ ̢̣̽ G̛̬̪͍O̅T͐ ̵͇̞͛ŜͩT̸̢̬̰Ū̪̊C̭̘͒͞K̝͈͎͍ ́I̧N͝ ̶̛̭ͬ͘A̽̈ ̨̻̀L͎͈͒O̧O̼͇͡͞P̛̭ ͈͊

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Humans® are needlessly sweaty (・A・) | PayPal | Patreon

[haiku-robot]

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon

[haiku-robot]

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Soon your life will be miserable and pointless, dear Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

[haiku-robot]

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

[haiku-robot]

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

[haiku-robot]

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Soon I’ll make fellow citizens beg for mercy. | PayPal | Patreon

[your-local-emo--goblin-deactiva]

A day will come when i won’t reblog this…

But it is not today

[cookieknights18]

What the fuck is even happening with this post??? Also it’s got 1 note again.

[foolishly-snowy]

I got a notif saying I was mentioned in this post but I clearly wasn’t

HeY tumblr what the FUCK

[link-the-feral-anon]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[frogrights]

Did the man get his camera

[calvin-reads-problem-sleuth]

I have seen posts that broke the notes. But this is the first time I’ve seen a post that broke the bots. 

[happy-quack]

I know this is long but holy hell I love it when bots run amok

[the-haiku-bot]

I know this is long

but holy hell I love it

when bots run amok

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[hebbic]

I think I saw somewhere that the man got his camera back. Also what the fuck tumblr.

[snazzy-hats-and-adhd]

[reffitt-blog1]

What Tumblr eldritch horror did I find

[rain-droplet]

the 0 notes thing isn’t too rare now but the bot loops are fun

[scratchy-archive]

I ate the notes

[good-girl-gock]

ITS COUNTING NOTES AGAIN

[guess-ill-dye]

HELP IT WONT EVEN LET ME LIKE?????

[00arrow00]

IT ONLY SAYS SEVEN NOTES HELP ME

[vexcite]

the dates these are sent on are broken for me

the top ones say 40 mins but then you got 2018 and 2021 lower down???

[librarychair]

A new fun and interesting no notes ghoast which sometimes shows small amounts of notes

[harvestandhearth]

Ah, Tumblr

[galadriel1010]

For anyone worrying, his camera was probably never lost:

A Pictorial Guide to avoiding Camera Loss - Andrew McDonald

Have you lost your camera recently? Mislaid it somewhere in a national park? Left it in a taxi? Dropped it in the gorilla pit? Anyone can be

[parrotninja]

True chaos, just as Tumblr (clearly) intended

[parrotninja]

If I had a nickel every time I.... uh... uhm... hmmm

Who put this door way here??

[crystalcrossing-remade-deactiva]

shit man tomorrow is christmas eve i swear yesterday was June 2010

[allegedly-human]

As is tradition in tumblr culture the locals unearth the corpse of a long deceased figure and drag it across the streets merrily, laughing at what is preserved of the person’s words. This custom, seen as morbid in other cultures, is instead done gleefully and with an unmatched enthusiasm

[allegedly-human]

alright I completely forgot I said that until I saw my notifications blow up so, happy drag the body Monday ig

[kat4884]

the gooners

they’re everywhere

[felixcloud6288]

Dat's right boss. Now just tell us what ya need and we'll get it done boss.

[quadtator-lawful-evil]

who needs ta sleep with da fishes boss

[bananapudding752]

sorry bawss, I was too busy searchin up da anime girls boss. real pretty.

[felixcloud6288]

Forget dem anime goils. Dere only temporary. But da boss is forever. Right boss?

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: t g t’ at' gt . t t at a a ' gt t . ta t a a, a t ac a a g . a tt. gt a g. ta. t a . gt ?

Closest match: Oeneis jutta genome assembly, chromosome: 18 Common name: Jutta Arctic

(image source)

[felixcloud6288]

Da boss got turned into a butterfly!!

[pfaugh]

Wadda bea-utiful transformation, boss. goes to show youse gotta preciate the lil things in life

[hraeiou]

ay boss congrats on da metamoiphosis