An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 4/4
Fandom: Teen Titans - All Media Types, Deathstroke the Terminator (Comics), Batgirl (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), DCU
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Tara Markov/Rose Wilson, Rose Wilson & Slade Wilson, Dick Grayson & Rose Wilson, Tara Markov & Teen Titans, Rose Wilson & Young Justice
Characters: Tara Markov, Rose Wilson, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Slade Wilson, Amy Allen (DCU), Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Adeline Kane Wilson, Cassie Sandsmark
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Drift Compatibility (Pacific Rim), Past Tara Markov/Slade Wilson, Abusive Relationships, Slade Wilson Being an Asshole, Slade Wilson's A+ Parenting, Past Rape/Non-con, Slade Wilson and Adeline Kane are Divorced, Canon-Typical Behavior, Jaegers (Pacific Rim), Kaiju (Pacific Rim), Author is a Tara Markov Apologist, Past Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake, BAMF Rose Wilson, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Creepy Slade Wilson, Past Character Death, Minor Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain, Drift Compatible At Sight, Kinda gay to pilot a giant robot with the power of love, Rose Wilson-centric, Tara Markov-centric, jaeger - Freeform, She/Her Pronouns for Jaegers, He/Him Pronouns for Kaiju
Summary:
After months spent grounded following a slow and steady loss of drift compatibility with her father, Rose Wilson discovers someone else she can fly with, in the most unlikely of places: her father's other former co-pilot, Tara Markov. Of course, if they ever wants to fight kaiju again, they'll have to show each other the scars Slade Wilson left on the both of them.
Good thing they're both tough as nails, not to mention incredibly snarky assholes.
21K Rosetara Pacific Rim AU, because I’m insane. There might be more of this eventually, because I have Ideas for plot. Individual CWs in chapter notes.
Prompt(s): “Don’t listen to them. Don’t you EVER listen to them” for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing hiatus challenge week 9, “You, me, and Sam. We’re just better together” for @spnhiatuscreations week 9, and “Post Break Up Kiss - The kiss that catches both of you off guard, but says I miss you, I’m sorry and please love me again all at once without any words being spoken” for my XOXO prompt series
Summary: After the trauma from some time spent in Hell, you hide within yourself, running from your only family: Dean, Sam, and Cas. As you slowly return, you see just how much you love the boys, and just how much they need you back.
If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!
Word Count: 2515
Warnings: angst, later on fluff, intrusive thoughts, trauma/PTSD from experience in Hell (literally)
A/N: I’m quite proud of the prose in this one, hope you enjoy it like I do! As always, FEEDBACK IS LOVED AND NEEDED!
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“Trauma is personal. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.”
― Danielle Bernock, Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals
The snow fell to the ground in thick tufts, you barreling through it as fiercely as possible. You hated looking so haggard, but you could hardly help it; your back was hunched, your face tear stained, the cold weather not the only thing chilling you as you shivered. It felt as though your organs were frozen solid, particularly the one who decided to be sensitive so often, who wouldn’t just piece itself together already after being shattered. Frozen was better than heartbroken, though, the numbness a gift after the months of constant throbbing.
Why were you in Kansas, and why anywhere near the bunker? You knew, and yet at the same time didn’t. Simply put, you missed your family. After joining the hunting life, Sam, Dean, and Cas were your only family, blood or not. You missed those late-night conversations with Sam, hunched over piles and piles of books you were both overwhelmed by, though neither of you would admit it. He’d tell you about his goals before hunting, his favorite hobbies when he managed to scrounge up some free time, the best book he ever read besides lore. It was nice, just you and Sam mulling over cups of coffee and ancient texts, finding a way to have normal conversation amidst the abnormality.
Then, of course, there was Cas. Intelligent yet naïve, strong yet soft, caring yet unstoppable. He inspired you. He comforted you. He never let you suffer, at least not when he knew you were. Cas was a damn good friend and supported you in times where you could hardly stand yourself enough to save you. Most of all though, there was Dean.
Chills ran up and down your body as you thought the name, the first time you managed to do so without breaking down in months. The gravel road beneath your feet made your heart race, knowing you would soon be reaching the man with that name all too soon.
Your moments with Dean were innumerable, some more difficult to describe their significance than others. The way he’d say I love you in public, something he’d never done with anyone. How he’d kiss your forehead, tender and slow, and in those moments, you’d feel more healed than when Cas used his angel powers. Those many nights lying in bed, naked and exhausted, beside each other in silence as you just looked into each other’s eyes, no words needed. God dammit. The pain in your chest was coming back, so you quickly pushed away those thoughts. If you went much deeper, you were afraid you’d run straight into his arms again, just for the chance to nuzzle your face in his neck and feel his strong arms wrapping you close to him once more.
You had been trailing them for days, making sure they’d be staying near the bunker for a little bit. You just needed to see them, know that they were alright, that they hadn’t died with no one telling you. Planning to leave immediately after seeing them, your plans were almost instantly foiled. Watching them did more than soothe your paranoia, it comforted you in ways you hated to admit. Without them, you were all alone, and that scared the hell out of you.
You thought about giving in to the sensation, wanting so badly to regroup and fall back into your strangely comfortable routine with them, but the voices would just pipe right back up. Yelling, insisting, scratching at the inside of your head, they only went away when you were distanced from the boys. Dean somehow managed to leave Hell generally unscathed, and physically you did too, but the taunts from so much pain in the pit stuck in your mind. You were trapped there for much longer than Dean ever was, some rogue demon forming a vendetta against you and the boys, latching onto whoever he could and dragging them to Hell with him. Obviously, you were eventually rescued, but not for many months, the equivalent to nearly a decade in the fiery place.
The gravel became denser beneath you, making your breathing hitch. Looking up from your feet, you finally saw it; the bunker’s entrance, right there, a welcome and foreboding sight. The closer you got, the louder the thoughts shouted in your mind. Stay away. You only drag them down. You’ll be the one with blood on your hands if they die.
You moved into the trees as your hands clasped at your head, worried someone might exit the bunker and find you in your traumatized state. You were one hell of a hunter before all this had happened, and even when you remembered all the times you saved their asses, the taunts from so many demons remained in your mind. How could you risk it? How selfish would it be to “test the waters” and end up getting the only people in the world you loved killed?
You finally managed to calm your breathing as you vehemently decided to not attempt an entrance. There would be no reunion, they would never know you were there. Even so, you wished they would come out of the bunker, just for a moment. Seeing your old home was nice and all, but it was them that really warmed you. It was as though someone had heard your wish, as ironically enough they all came out, Sam, Dean, and Cas. Though not in the way you had expected.
Sam and Dean had their guns raised, looking around at the surrounding forest. You nestled deeper into your hiding spot. Cas observed the leafless trees, analyzing his surroundings with squinty eyes, and you almost smiled at the sight. God, you missed them so much. Guns blazing and all, it was nice to see them. Of course, you quickly got to thinking about their paranoia, and your heart thudded as you checked the forest around you. What were they looking for? Cas searched around, closing his eyes before pointing the boys towards a particularly thick grouping of trees, right where you stood. You swallowed.
“Alright, you son of a bitch,” Dean yelled out, grimacing. “Come on out.”
You remained still.
“You’ve been tailing us non-stop these last few days; don’t you want to say hello?” he jeered. You took a few deep breaths, contemplating your next move. There was no running, especially not with Cas there. They’d eventually come searching into the greenery, and you really hated the idea of forest hide and seek. With an extremely defeated sigh, you stepped out into the clearing. They all froze, staring at you with a mixture of shock and relief.
“Y/n,” Sam sighed, the smile evidence of his joy. Slowly, he walked up to you, wrapping his arms around you gently, watching your every reaction to make sure you were comfortable. “We’ve missed you so much.” Tentatively, you returned the hug, grateful that Sam was so amicable.
“I’ve missed you guys,” you expressed, pulling away after a moment. “More than you’ll ever know. But I need to go.” Sam grabbed onto your wrist, holding onto you as you began to walk away. You glared at him.
“Why have you been following us? Did you walk here?” he insisted, Cas and Dean remaining willfully silent. You dared a peek back at them, your stomach flipping. Cas was just an innocent onlooker, but Dean stood stoically, his chin jutted out and his teeth grinding. You quickly looked back to Sam.
“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t get yourself killed,” you explained, tugging your wrist away. “But I seriously need to go now, Sam. Good to see you.”
“Y/n,” Dean’s firm voice called out, making your heart jump. Reluctantly, you met his gaze, Sam stepping out of the way as Dean approached. He looked you directly in the eyes, pointing a finger at you, emphasizing every word. “After all we’ve been through, we deserve an explanation. Especially me.” The edge in his voice made you flinch, looking to Sam and Cas in vain for help. Sam swallowed, walking to Cas and patting his shoulder.
“C’mon Cas,” Sam murmured. “Let’s give them a minute.” Cas nodded, calling to you before following Sam into the bunker.
“No matter what happens out here, I really hope to see you inside.”
With that, they were gone, slipping inside the bunker without another word. The time you had dreaded for so long was finally upon you; facing Dean. You closed your eyes, letting the cold air burn your lungs as you took in heavy gulps. It was a welcome distraction.
“Y/n, why?” Dean whispered, his voice cracking even with his low tone. You opened your eyes, feeling as though you were stabbed when you saw the tears in his eyes. He was only ever this vulnerable around you, and you hated that you had to stomp all over it.
“I can’t stay here, anymore Dean,” you replied simply, your voice scratchy from lack of communication. He shook his head, stepping even closer to you.
“We can move, no one says we have to live in the bunker-“
“That’s not it,” you sighed, rubbing your temples.
“Then what is it, Y/n? What is it…did I do something to hurt you?” he asked, his bottom lips quivering. Your face crinkled, seeing him so distraught killing you. His eyes were such a bright green normally, they became almost neon when he cried. His pink lips were nearly red, and his freckles were out and proud despite the lack of sun. You shook your head.
“No, Dean, no, no, no,” you insisted fervently. “I just can’t risk it.”
“Risk what?”
“Being the one that gets any of you killed.” He was completely taken off guard by this, blinking and staring at you strangely.
“Y/n, why would you get us killed?” You just shook your head once more. After a moment, he nodded, a newfound understanding washing over him. “It’s because of Hell, isn’t it? Sweetheart, you weren’t there long enough to become a demon.” He began to place his hands on your shoulders, but you roughly shoved them off.
“But long enough for their voices to stick in my head,” you sneered, hugging yourself as you took a step back. Dean’s expression became sad, nodding as he sympathized.
“I know,” he breathed. “It’s been all this time and I still wake up sometimes and am shocked that I’m not tied up.” You swallowed, looking up at him hesitantly.
“Yeah, well you don’t have them still screaming at you, do you?” You intended to snap at him, but your voice came out much frailer than you’d expected.
“No,” he relented, putting out his arms. “But we would have helped you, Y/n. We’re family; Cas, you, me, and Sam. We’re just better together.”
“I know,” you admitted, stifling a sob. “I don’t want to stay away, Dean. I miss you so much it hurts, but every time I get close, they start yelling at me all over again, and what they say…I won’t let it happen.”
“What do they say?” he pressed softly, taking a gentle step closer. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself so you could say the words without breaking.
“That I’m holding you guys back. That if I keep pretending I’m some strong hunter, I’ll be the reason you all die. That your lives are happier without me, and I’m selfish for taking that away.” You stopped, the words washing over you and almost making you double over. Dean caught you in his arms, keeping you upright as he looked into your eyes.
“Don’t listen to them. Don’t you ever listen to them,” he insisted, his voice stern yet laced with love. “You belong here, with us. None of us have relaxed without you, we’ve trailed you and dug into all your aliases. All we’ve wanted was for you to come back home.” You didn’t even realize you were crying until he wiped a tear away, kissing your forehead in that way you loved, warming you from the inside out. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone. You went through Hell for us, Y/n, the least we can do is help you now that you’re out.”
“Oh, Dean,” you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck. He quickly reciprocated the hug, nuzzling his face into your shoulder as he lifted you off the ground. You did the same, finally smelling the mix of leather, cheap cologne, mint, and beer that you’d missed so much. He was so warm and firm, his arms entirely supporting you as you sank into him.
His hair was longer than usual, overall just more ungroomed than you’d remembered, but he was your Dean. You kissed up and down his neck, tracing his jaw with your lips. You pecked the side of his mouth, looking into his eyes before letting yours flutter shut, your lips colliding in the kiss you had needed for so long. Though no words were spoken, it felt like everything was communicated through that kiss. You were so scared, but you loved him, loved all of them, and wanted to come back home. He was frustrated with you but missed you more than words could express, and just wanted you to stay with him. Somehow, with his lips on yours, the voices silenced, the only moment of true bliss you’d had since returning to Earth. As you pulled away, Dean bent down and grabbed your legs, picking you up bridal style.
“C’mon,” he murmured. “Let’s get you inside.”
~~~
You wore one of Dean’s big trees and some shorts, your hair pulled away from your face as you sat on the couch with Sam, Dean, and Cas. Dean had turned on Game of Thrones and then ensued a lasting debate about characters with Sam. Usually, you’d tell them to stop bickering, but it was a great way to fill in all that you’d missed. You looked at Cas with a smirk, rolling your eyes at them; some things never changed. He smiled back, looking you up and down.
“I’m so glad you decided to stay, Y/n,” he admitted, his voice low. “It hasn’t been the same without you.”
You smiled, giving him a light hug. It had only been a few hours since you’d entered the bunker, but you already felt like a new person. You’d showered, ate, napped, and were now sitting next to your family of misfits, beer in hand as you tried to hear the TV over the brothers’ debating. As chaotic as it seemed, you wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Later that night, you crawled in bed beside Dean, just kissing and holding each other. Neither of you could sleep; Dean worried you’d disappear again, you worried the voices might come back once you slept. Eventually, you both did find a way to doze off, warm and safe in each other’s arms. For the first time since you were dragged to Hell, you rested. You knew you had a long while until you were truly well again, but damn did it feel good to start healing.
~~~~~~
Forever + Dean Tags, Michelle’s Dean Tags, Pond’s Dean Tags:
