#deborah rose

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The Boneyard (1991)

Dir. James Cummins

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Robert with Deborah Rose (black dress) another petite dark haired beauty

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The Boneyard (1991) Review by RevTerry

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The Boneyard (1991)

“ Kids in horror movies have a horrible track record, just like children and action films. A misplaced, whiney spawn in a supposedly mature film series can really fuck up the mood. If you go far enough into any long-standing genre series, you will most likely find a sequel where bad writing was combined with tone-deaf noises and shoved into a small person costume for a starring role. The 80s loved adding youngsters to otherwise grown media, shamelessly shoving an avatar for the younger audience to sell a few toys on the side, or whatever, (actually I kinda miss the toy part) into bloody R rated films. It hardly ever works and didn’t go over any better when I myself was a youth. It’s rampant really, but there are a few that stand out. Some of my favorite bad ones include the bratty, Mormon looking youngster in RoboCop 2 (1990) and the Krueger possessed Jacob in  A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989). What the fuck is with the dream child shit, who thought that was a good idea? How did Wes Craven not hurt someone? It pains me to make it through the moments that have poor Whit Hertford dressed up like a miniature version of Freddy(and I watch a lot a bullshit). At least RoboCop 2 added some tacky depth, with the fact that Murphy couldn’t just run in and start shooting spoiled little shits as he would normally with adult criminals, even if that kind of negates some of the entertainment we showed up for in a RoboCop movie.  Anyway, it just usually fails when they stick a kid in the lead, in anything really. I’m not talking shit on the youth themselves–(I’m still with you Edward Furlong) it’s the whole package they are stuck with. It’s in the basic writing they are given and only exacerbated by their sometimes fledging talent. The really fucked up part is that kids can be scary, well… kid shaped things anyway. As Charles Band (just) keeps attempting to show everyone, spooky shit can come in some small-ass packages. Using children as monsters is a whole different thing since children are kind of creepy already.  In keeping with the same era for the effective human spawn in horror, my brain jumps to Gage Creed from Pet Sematary (1989) first. After all the gore I have consumed with my eyeballs, that little pasty toddler still ranks pretty high. Say what you will about the Stephen King adaptation as a whole, but with little to no make-up, that milky little undead nightmare is on point. Undead tots are scary, I don’t know if it’s the size or what, but if a little corpse came after me, I would run (manliness be damned). Especially if it’s Gage or something all rotted out and gross like in The Boneyard (1991). “ - RevTerry

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The Boneyard, 1991

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October Shock & Schlock Day 12 (2/2) - The Boneyard (1991)

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The Boneyard (1991)