re: how Viren grew up potentially poor (or lower class than royalty, obviously, and Kpp'Ar at the very least), specifically what context that potentially provides to him and Lissa's dynamic
While we don't get a ton about Del Bar in canon materials and equally not a ton about Lissa, the picture we do get of the two put them somewhat clearly at odds. In Tales of Xadia, we learn that in Del Bar:
A new ruler shall be determined following a traditional Del Barian Gladiatorial Moot, wherein seekers of the throne engage in combat and the mightiest hand rises [to be monarch].
Centuries ago, the largest mountain in Del Bar was devoid of people, and its slate-cliffed confines contained the lair of a vile dragon. Del Barians say their first king slew the foul beast and hurled it down the mountain.
The people of Del Bar are varying degrees of warrior poet, from boastful barbarians to blithe bards and everything in between. Competitive tall tales keep them warm during the cold taiga nights. Most central to their culture is The Great Hunt, wherein great beasts are hunted and slain.
which all paints Del Bar as a very action-oriented, burly, strength based culture with an emphasis on physical prowess. We don't know what kind of occupation or station Lissa had, but she's notably never described as a warrior in any kind of way. Now, TDP's action/adventure fantasy show genre naturally skews characters towards having combat skills, with only a couple of exceptions for characters who are decidedly non-warriors (Gren seems to work entirely as an interpreter rather than as a soldier, but is a grey area; Terry seemingly has no combat training, but still ends up killing Ibis), with Lissa being one of them despite seemingly hailing from a culture that would really like her to be. Although wearing perfume and playing piano doesn't automatically make her a non-warrior, it does indicate a kind of femininity we don't see, comparatively, as much in TDP, particularly when these tidbits come from Claudia's POV of emphasizing that she is — seemingly — 'strong' in ways her mother was not.
(Del Bar's emphasis on songs/stories also make me think maybe the parts of her culture she did/could appreciate were things she found in Viren, since he often speaks in flowery/prettier language like a poet and can be quite the storyteller, but I'm getting off topic...)
What this means, then, is that both Viren and Lissa presumably grew up under a certain amount of social expectations — to remain X, never become Y — they then promptly abandoned within the confines of their relationship and their lives as individuals during the time they knew each other. Viren 'escapes' his station and is elevated (though they married probably a decade before he was high mage or Harrow ascending as king) the same way that Lissa escapes a warrior culture in favour of something decidedly different. Katolis may be militaristic, but a life at court with a mage (powerful, but an emphasis on mental fortitude/cleverness, not physical strength the way a warrior would have) is not.
If she was upper class, marrying her was a solidification that he'd 'made it'. If she was lower class, Viren was helping to pull her up with him (and we all know how Viren feels about duly owed gratitude), with Lissa potentially seeking to leave behind the social/mental helplessness she could've felt in her homeland at 'being different'... not realizing she just traded one form of helplessness, eventually, for another. Lissa, potentially, eventually adjusted from craving escape/power (agency to change her circumstances and social setting) and settled comfortably into her life with Viren and all that he offered, represented and promised, expecting him to do the same and let go... safe to say, he did not.
