First day back at work and laptop wouldn't boot up. Why. Tried force-booting from the power button, holding down various keys, everything I learned from being the first person in my family to own a computer. My first computer was an ivory-colored IBM running Windows 95 bought secondhand from a local business. In 2005. No internet in my area yet, so I had to use a manual that smelled like cleaning fluid and diesel fuel to learn how to operate what was basically a typewriter with a graphics card. Pretty sure if I had attempted to connect to the internet the thing would have exploded.
Anyway, took my work laptop to IT and announced my presence with "I hope you can make me look like an idiot!" IT Lady asked what was wrong, I told her, she pops the back off and checks all the cables, intakes and motherboard. Can't find anything wrong, so she replaces the back panel. "Well, let's get you switched over to a new machine."
Laptop boots. Quickly. Like, as soon as she finished screwing in the last screw. Cycles through the normal startup process but double-time. IT Lady and I stare at each other for a moment, then bust out laughing because what the actual hell?? It's like a little kid faking a stomachache to get out of school, then making a rapid, miraculous recovery at the mention of 'doctor'.
Like, what did you want?? Did you just want to go for a walk? Did you want fresh air on your soldered connections?? WHY DID YOU DO THAT
