@all demiromantics, demisexuals, and all other demi-s!
As you may or may not know, the current demi- flags make some people uncomfortable, so I am working on a re-design for it! And I need your help!
I am aspec, but not specifically demi-, so I don’t personally have much say on what the demi- flag should be. I’m working with my sister (she’s demiro and demiace) but I’d like more input from the community!
If you’re demi-, please feel free to share your opinion and send me your own designs for the flag! If you’re aspec, feel free to share your opinion, but please do not try to design a flag, it is not our place to. And if you’re not aspec, please share this post so we can get as many demi- people’s opinions as we can!
After talking with my sister and @crimsxnflxwerz (who designed these demisexual flags, which I then edited into demiromantic colors), we think that the flag should:
Keep the original colors
Have some sort of distinguishing feature, as the colors are very similar to other aspec flags
Not have any triangles on it (I'll explain why a bit later if you don’t already know)
have horizontal stripes
and be unique in some way!
under the read more is a list of proposed flags (and why they aren’t the best choice), and why it needs to be redesigned at all!
Proposed flags:
@crimsxnflxwerz’s flags:
[ID: a flag with four vertical stripes: black, purple, white, and grey. in the white stripe there is a black diamond]
This flag is really cool looking! The diamond represents “loyalty and meaningful living”. But the vertical stripes go against nearly every other pride flag, so it doesn’t really “fit” with them.
[ID: a flag divided in half by a black triangle reaching from the top left corner to the bottom right corner. on the side not covered, there are three horizontal stripes: white, purple, and grey]
This one has the triangle issue, and if it were to be removed the flag wouldn’t be very recognizable.
Re-colors:
[ID: the demi- flag but re-colored so that the triangle is white, and the stripes are grey, black, and purple.]
this flag also has the triangle, though it is a bit better because it’s not black, but the design is too close to the original to be separated from it.
[ID: the demi- flag but re-colored so that the triangle is purple, and the stripes are black, grey, and purple.]
this one has the same problems as the last.
circle-based flags:
[ID: a flag with three horizontal stripes: grey, purple, and white. the purple stripe is smaller than the other two. in the center of the flag there is a solid black circle.]
the creator of this one calls it the “eclipsed sun version“. the Black circle represents a solar eclipse, which in turn represents the rare instances of demi- people feeling attraction. I really like the thought that was put into this one, but the big black circle seems a bit cumbersome to me.
[ID: a flag with three horizontal stripes: white, purple, and grey. the purple stripe is smaller than the other two. in the center of the flag there is a black ring.]
the creator of this flag has their profile on private, unfortunately. So I can’t link directly to the flag, or read what their thought behind it was. I *assume* that the black ring is a reference to how asexual people wear black rings on the middle finger of their right hand. This is a good idea but while demisexuality and asexuality are relate they are not the same thing.
Why does the flag even need to be redesigned?
Because of the black triangle used in it. The black triangle as a symbol originated in n*zi Germany. It was used to mark people they considered “asocial”. That on it’s own is enough to need a redesign, but just to further explain why it specifically should not be used in the demi- flag: it was used to mark lesbians and non-conforming women during the h*locaust.
It is hugely inappropriate for demi- people to reclaim a symbol that was not used against them. Let me be clear: I am NOT saying that this was the idea behind the original design. It is just an unfortunate coincidence. I am neither Jewish or a lesbian, but *personally* I don’t think anyone who isn’t a Jewish queer woman should re-claim this symbol.
EDIT: I was informed by @rosa-buachaille that this symbol was also used against disabled people! I won’t get into the history of that because as much as I support intersectionality this post is already far too long. So to put it simply: there are multiple groups who have the right to reclaim this symbol, and they alone should have pride symbols that involve it.
a demi- diamond dove (Geopelia cuneata), using this flag!
demi-: not experiencing sexual attraction to another person unless or until you have formed an emotional connection with that person.
[image description: a simplistic drawing of a bird, coloured in the demisexual flag colours, of three progressively darker shades of pink. end image description]
Demisexual people have a very specific way of experiencing sexual attraction. Being demisexual myself, and autistic, I believe there’s a link between the two.
