Hey there! Poly Xig-dem asker, I was wonderin if you could do somethin with them, maybe a reaction to the Reserve S/O fading? Maybe add a bit of epilogue angst on Xig's side?
WARNING: Angst, major character death, lots of sadness and you may cry.
Notes: So I am really glad that you requested this because I had so much fun writing that last set. I also am really glad that you requested angst because if there is one thing that I am good at, it’s angst and sadness and making people go ‘why did I read this!’ basically I’m really excited to write this and I hope that it meets your standards. As I wrote this set I kind of wanted them to fade like their heartless had already been killed and they were going to be made whole again so I basically made this like a semi-happy ending if you want to think about it that way?
Being a part of the Organization means that death is always around the corner and being a reserve member is no exception. To be honest, you had been expecting this day to come in the back of your mind since day one. Ever since Sora started to tear apart the members of the castle and knock you off one by one, you were prepared to be called upon.
To say you weren’t ready would be an understatement. You had been telling yourself that it would happen and although Demyx, Xigbar and you didn’t want to bring it up, it was something that you had occasionally mentioned, telling them that if your time did come that you wanted them to know that this was the best time you could have possibly had.
Xigbar would often brush you off saying that he would do everything in his power to make sure that neither of you got put into any seriously dangerous situations, but he too knew that he really couldn’t do anything.
Demyx would try to be strong for the both of you but would end up crying and then getting mad at himself for it while you and Xigbar just did your best to reassure him that you still had time.
But you didn’t. All remaining members had been called to a meeting one day in the Room Where Nothing Gathers and you had known from the look in Xigbar’s eye. He often knew things before the superior announced them and it didn’t help that you had a very sickly feeling in the pit of your stomach.
After you had been given your assignment, you retired to your room, wanting some peace and quiet. Needless to say, you didn’t get any.
Demyx was the first to arrive. He burst through your door, tears rimming his eyes and his face red. He tackled you to the bed, crying into your chest as you sat there stunned. You knew it was going to happen, you had tried so hard to prepare yourself, but you still weren’t ready. How could anyone be ready for a fucking suicide mission?
A very tearful hour later, Xigbar came knocking on your door. You almost didn’t invite him in, he could have told you, he was supposed to protect you. He promised to stop them, you thought callously, but you reminded you had to remind yourself that in the end he really had no say. Reluctantly you invited him in and told him to join the two of you on the bed.
The three of you just held each other in a tearful silence, you even let yourself go a few times, thinking about the emptiness that would be in your heart without your partners. The tears eventually subsided and led all of you into a deep, albeit restless slumber.
The next day you departed for your mission. You were to take out someone guarded by the warriors, you did your best to pack as many health potions and other supplies to try and keep you alive as possible. It’s not that you were weak by any means, it’s just that this was a serious battle and if anything were to go wrong you were- well fucked.
You arrived in the world as prepared as you could be, your breathing may have been shaky, but you made up for it with your will to see another day.
Finding the person you were to take out wasn’t difficult, you spotted them and quickly attacked from behind their group. Throwing a barrage of attacks you tried your best to get in and then get out, wanting to complete your task and see your lovers.
That’s when Sora and Co. started to really bear down. You were almost out of health potions and down to your last leg when you saw a portal open out of the corner of your eye, distracted you didn’t notice Sora fire a spell in your direction.
The spell landed directly on your chest and all at once you felt overwhelming emotions. You were so angry, so happy, so… sad. You couldn’t understand why all of this was coming to you all of a sudden.
You slowly fell to your knees, seeing Xigbar run in from the outskirts of where you had been fighting, he pushed past your killers and rushed to your side. It wasn’t worth fighting them right now, they would get what was coming to them later, for now, for now, he wanted to tell you that it was going to be okay.
You began to feel the end nearing, seeing him was a comfort, but at the same time, you didn’t want to go just yet.
“I’m so sorry, I’m too late…”
It was silent for a while, the only sound was that of your short and shallow gasps, you clung on to the front of his cloak, urging yourself to tell him what you always wanted to, but never felt that you could.
“No. No, you’re gonna be fine, we’re gonna be okay! You’re gonna come back and see Demyx and we’re all gonna laugh about this later… right?”
You had never seen him like this, usually playful and cocky, making jokes and taking pleasure from other’s pain. Not now, now he was angry, he was distraught. He was scared.
“Xiggy, no… I can’t… but…”
You were fading fast and if you didn’t tell him now, you were scared that you might not get another chance.
“I love you. I realize it now, that this feeling… this ache that you’re remembering right here-” you put a hand over where his heart should be. “That’s love, I love you, and I love Demyx, and I wouldn’t give up the time I spent with you both for anything. I would do this all over again, exactly the same, if it meant that I could always love you the same.”
“I-” It was too late. You had said what you needed to say, you held on just long enough to tell him all of it. Xigbar’s arms dropped to his lap, his tears falling to the ground as he screamed into the sky.
The next few moments were a flurry of angry rage and motion. Xigbar stood and began taking his anger out on the nearest target- the people that killed you.
“WHY?” He screamed, shooting at them, “WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIM FROM ME?”
Sora was scared, to say the least, a normally calm and laid-back Xigbar, who made jokes during their other battles, was screaming over a nobody. Nobodies weren’t supposed to feel, so why was this happening?
Eventually, the battle wore down and Sora left.
However, Xigbar remained, he sat in a corner, staring emptily at the spot where you died. How was he going to go on? How was his world going to go on? And worst of all, how was he going to tell Demyx?
It took him a good few hours before he got up, all out of tears and vaguely thinking of a plan.
He called a portal to the castle, he didn’t plan on giving a report just yet, he wanted Demyx to be the first to know.
Demyx was in his room, fiddling with his Sitar and trying to distract himself really, it was obvious he wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing as he quickly noticed Xigbar enter the room and jumped up.
Xigbar stared at the floor, he couldn’t bear to look Demyx in the eye. “I’m sorry Demyx…”
All at once the ugly crying started, Demyx collapsed on his bed, crying, screaming that it couldn’t be real.
“I’m sorry, I tried to stop it, but I was too late.”
That’s when things got worse.
“YOU COULDN’T STOP IT? WHAT ABOUT IT COULDN’T YOU STOP? THE FACT THAT THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARED ABOUT US DIED OR THE FACT THAT HE COULD HAVE BEEN KEPT FROM GOING TO DO THAT MISSION BUT YOU DIDN’T STOP IT?”
Immediately Demyx regretted every word he had just said.
“I got there as soon as I could. I did my best to tell the superior to let me handle the mission but he thought that he was ready. I want him back just as much as you do so don’t you dare go pointing the blame when I had to hold his dying fucking body in my arms and I didnt even get to tell him that I love him back!”
Xigbar’s voice was stern and his jaw was set, he didn’t need this shit, he already wanted it to be him as it was.
He turned to leave when Demyx spoke up.
“Wait… Back? You-you mean…”
“He said it at the end, that he loved us. He was holding on just so he could say it and I watched him die…”
Demyx put a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, it wasn’t your fault.”
Xigbar put his hand on top of Demyx’s, “I know, but it sure as hell feels like it. I was there, and all I could do was tell him that it was going to be okay and that we were gonna laugh about it later.”
The two of them stood in silence. They didn’t know how to feel, they didn’t even know if they were going to be okay, all that mattered right then and right there was that they loved you and they made sure that they never forgot to tell the people they love, how they felt.
