Having high functioning depression and anxiety is walking through everyday appearing to have your shit together. Getting out of bed, making it to work on time everyday. Giving your job 100% and being successful in your career. Returning home, maintaining a house, playing with kids, talking with spouse, fixing dinner, getting kids bathed, bedtime story and cuddles. Getting the house picked up, stuff ready for tomorrow, and finally laying down. Perfect life right....
Wrong....
What no one can see is what is going on inside, the constant thoughts that are cycling through your head, the tightness in your chest, the struggle to breathe. The feelings of aggravation that you have to constantly tramp down so you don’t explode on people. Counting down the seconds until you can crawl back under your covers and hide from the world. The feeling of sadness that you can not pinpoint and never goes away.
This is me all day....everyday.....and no one knows. I have tried talking about it and I hear things like just be happy, stop worrying, your life is great, you have a great career, you have a great wife, you have great children, you have it better than most. All is true but does not change the feeling inside all it does is add the feeling of guilt.
Guilt that I can’t just be happy, Guilt that I have such a good life and find no joy in it, Guilt that I just can’t be normal.
The feeling of being tied in knots is suffocating.
Saatchi Art Artist David Holcomb; Drawing, “Age of Anxiety”
