#derky

[scenessystem]

been looking around and not found a good word for alters who never front? Like i know they're alters as they talk, can interact with headspace and offer passive influnce but never fully front.

Is there a word for that?

[we have lots of alters who do front with multiple roles]

[dtsukiartblog]

Merry Christmas for everyone!! ♥

Collab w/ @shonemzone

[scenessystem]

Me: I have my whole system mapped

New Alter: Hey

Dormnat Alter: Hey

New Area: Discovered

Me:

[scenessystem]

As the "leader" of the system i try and talk positivly about the system members but that just isnt what it is always like

Its like inside fighting

its self harm

ts ED thoughts

its suicidal ideation

hypersexual acts that cause shame with others

it crying inside our head that we cant find

its alters who dont know when we are

its alters parroting abusers words

its alters aceidently hurting

its alters telling us were dead

its alerts saying were bad

loving and not loving the same people

alters doubting our trauma completely

its alex doubting we exsist at all

its feeling like a puzzel i have to put together

ts hersing cats that wont stop scratching eachother and themselves

But i dont even feel it ya know? i dont feel much about myself and i doubt generally mind that much but i do /care/ so its hard watching all the pain it causes.

We do hurt oursevles, we break down, get angry, have runined relationships, have hurt others (emotionally), been ovewhelmed by our own mind, depressed, yelled at eachother, missed years

I want to be kind and talk positivly about every alter and offer love but its not like were happy or that this is fun or easy

[dtsukiartblog]

Just Derky on hot evening Collab w/ @shonem.zone #oc #originalcharacter #dragon #dragonboy #derky #derkisas #collab #collaboration #dtsukiarts #shonemzone https://www.instagram.com/p/B6UDp5Uny20/?igshid=i5604ch21pkh

[dtsukiartblog]

Finally a decent reference sheet of him!.... Just one part of it.... heck me.

Now I just need to do his wings and tail!

Big thanks for: @oni-saika, @staystrongaways and Matusak!!

[scenessystem]

We are currently on a feeding tube. For all of our nutrition and 95% of our fluid intake. However some of the littles escpialsly who haven't fronted a lot recently still get very confused and nan has almost pulled it out when she is out and has one of her worse episodes. Managing explaining physical illness to people wo are like less then 10 is really hard. Even for maddy and alice who have a pretty good at comprehending are still confused. But three year olds are impossible to explain to so i have to hope they don't seriously injure the body when they are not co-con with anybody-derky

[dtsukiartblog]

4 FUCKIN’ HOURS WORKIN IN THIS.... AND WORTH IT EVERY SINGLE SOUR AND BLOOD ♥♥♥♥