#despaaceetoeee

[artcupcakes]

Okay okay. stop me if I’m wrong. We don’t know what makes the Kings get their titles except that it probably has something to do with the Kataru. (And that a fourth is mentioned but not expanded on) I haven’t done the Secret so bear with me here!

Watchers are apparently aliens that have come to take over the world,,,? What does that make Bain then?

Remember the origin story in that outfit description that one anon mentioned?? Yeah it says “in the late 1960’s, a man was born”

WHICH WHAT. Hold on but he’s a Watcher and Watchers are supposed to be aliens?? But this says he was born???

Why did the Kataru experiment on Bain? Could’ve been anybody else, but they chose him. NEVER EXPLAINED. Bain has an alien bloodline or something, I swear. This might’ve been the reason why. (Side note: stealth Big Bank, Bain mentions that his grandfather used to go heisting, so def born)

Even in the Safehouse, Dallas questions if the virus was really what gave Bain his whole power boost thing.

What if we redefine Kings as the highest rank in Kataru you can have? Bain being the Elephant’s Watcher doesn’t make sense lore-wise. Wiki says that Duke has a voice line that alludes to him being trained for it, though I can’t confirm whether this is true. (Are the Kings immortal or what? Do they reincarnate every so often??)

(Duke’s grandfather had a hand in all this Kataru stuff, I remember that they used to be a benevolent organization before they defected and became Kataru? Description in one of the heists says, when I find it again I’ll refer. The tape Bain left behind DOES mention it being Duke’s family issues and such)

Him being the Elephant’s Watcher won’t fly because! He’s rude when he talks about him. The description of the mentor sounds a lot more like someone he’d look up to? Also the Elephant betrayed the PAYDAY gang, so there’s that.

And if Bain is the PAYDAY gang’s Watcher. Maybe he’s using them to take over the world? If the team took down the Dentist (a King) then they would be more than worthy to hold that title, with the whole relic box and all.

Him being an alien (and your Watcher) would explain a few things: his protectiveness over his gang, “you better not be messing with my crew!” (Alaskan Deal, he probably hadn’t contacted Locke by that point. Because why would the next heist have happened if that were the case?)

him seemingly being able to communicate with them no matter the circumstances, (EMP bomb, Boiling Point. Bain is able to talk to you AND see through your eyes. How else would he know about the lead scientist?) in all of the trailers and live action stuff, the gang is never shown to be speaking to Bain. Verbally, that is. CANONICALLY in the side comic (on their official website) Bain is shown to be talking to them outside of a heist,,,on Dallas’ smartphone. What is that??? (And it’s not like they were to lazy to model earpieces onto the heisters, the Train Heist guards have them)

him marking things for you through walls, especially when he said (Diamond Heist Classic on Loud) “the CFO thinks he’s clever, but he can’t hide from me.” MARKING HIM WHEREVER HE IS. Bain is psychic somehow, if you take the briefcase early in Boiling Point, sometimes he will ask you if you are psychic. No really! This is one of the things that tipped me off about it.

his near omnipresence, during times he’s taken off-guard, he’s always there for you? (Goat Simulator Day 2, nothing was supposed to happen)

his near omniscience, yeah you’re totally a normal person Mr. I-Don’t-Know-Where-The-Vault-Is-Try-Moving-Bookshelves. (Framing Frame Day 3)

and him putting his team’s life above his own. If he was your Watcher, that would make so much sense. He’s getting attacked while you’re in the van already and he wants to ‘get you guys out of there’???Curiously, I think OVKS changed the dialogue for the “Cutting the Red Wire” achievement? Earlier recordings has Bain congratulating you for defusing the C4, but now? He sounds very worried about you??

There is definitely something weird about the Paygang, actually. Mind Control? Defying Death itself? Completely normal. “Your persuasion tactics were resisted,” and then you can convert the same officer once you have a slot open. (Not to mention that they curse at you then fight their comrades for your sake?) let’s not talk about the regenerating armor or anything, run-of-the-mill everyday stuff y’know? (no wonder they’re feared by the government, and how they never get caught)

The only crew voice lines that refer specifically to Bain (besides the tutorials, where Dallas treats him like he’s a servant) is them being worried/afraid over their navigator not being able to guide them. This is either a severe case of dependence or?

All in all, I just want to say. The PAYDAY Gang are collectively the fourth King, and Bain is their Watcher. They’re also psychic and he’s probably an alien. (his dad is the alien from Shacklethorne Auction, lol jkjk)

But that’s just my opinion.

(besides the tutorials, where Dallas treats him like he’s a servant) Listen, he's just being extra careful. It's been like two years.

Also pretty sure it's implied somewhere that the alien boios are dead(Well almost but let's not talk about the Shacklethorne Auction). But they did gift the three kings a form of immortality alongside their watchers.

Honestly you just have a case for Bain having supernatural powers more than alien heritage in my opinion. I mean things like the sixth sense skill and the Halloween stuff already have some implication on this kind of stuff.

However I still like your fourth king theory as it's pretty fun if anything. Even if I think it has a couple of holes in it here and there.

There's also a joke about parasocial relationships with Bain but idk how I'd word it XD

[artcupcakes]

Dude I just realized that the Yacht heist is a thing cus we’re messing over the mayor that we rigged the election for back in the Election Day job?? So we’re betraying the Elephant???

In the words of every child ever: He started it!

[artcupcakes]

Welcome back!! Okaaaay I know it’s not spooky month anymore. But imagine what a downright possessive Bain would look like. (Thank you dumb noodle brain, for getting to the end of two different fics and not having the energy to finish them!!!)

I’m thinking main antagonist AU. I’M THINKING ALL THE PRONOUNS. Canon him sacrificed himself for his team so let’s put a little spin on that, let’s.

P!Bain: ‘I don’t like Vlad. He’s putting my crew into jeopardy. Let’s come up with a reason to betray him’

And the gang wouldn’t find out for awhile, either! Bain handles everything and they follow his orders without hesitation, because they recognize him as their leader. (Hoxton refers to him as ‘the boss’ in the opening to Hell’s Island if I remember)

It’s not Halloween, but slow creeping things. Like your instinctive alien brain taking control of you, what a mild inconvenience, amirite?

Dallas gives reports to Bain (we don’t know how often) and he would be the first to notice as both the Mastermind and having known the guy for years. Others would be John Wick (experienced criminal) and Chains (ex-military, team veteran)

P!Bain says weird things like his first line in the old Safe House. “See, you didn’t even need to pick up the phone! I’m keeping my eyes on you as usual.” (THIS LINE IS CANON)

P!Bain’s obsessive nature becomes too much to just watch his crew from the screen. He goes to meet them and—!

Integrating this into another AU like;; I’m done for. I already have too many ideas WHATS ONE MORE I GUESS?

When in doubt throw all the idea's together like a pasta.

Also I feel like Duke would already know what's up already or at least have an idea since he's known Bain the longest(I will continue to stan Duke to an obnoxious degree. He has a lot of untapped fanfic potential that maybe one day I'll capitalize on)

[artcupcakes]

But even with the reverse,, why on earth would the Elephant betray his Watcher? Was that ever confirmed or am I just tripping?? Wiki says the trailer alludes to it, can’t be sure

Payday Lore: The return of nobody knows what's happening anymore

[artcupcakes]

if Bain is the Elephant’s Watcher, why on earth would he be badmouthing him in all his mission descriptions?? That description seems like he would look up to his mentor. Who is the mentor, idk man I guess it’s never explained???

I honestly have no idea what I’m talking about, haven’t finished the Secret yet so,, but thanks for telling me about that! The translation for the tombstone is pretty compelling though;; along with Bain’s voice lines referring to the gang as “his.”

That’s in Alaskan Deal’s opening. Even Garrett and Locke refer to him as the leader, the latter actually saying the same pronoun (with him included) in one of the Career mission descriptions. (maybe Hell’s Island I don’t remember)

But that’s just my opinion; and I haven’t watched those lore videos yet so you could be right.

(and thanks op for letting me possess your body)

Damn imagine finding out that you're a watcher only to realize that your king is a piece of shit

Bain is possessive over his band of bastard.

They might be chaos having pieces of shit, but they're his chaos having pieces of shit

[artcupcakes]

Yup, on further inspection it seems that it says “BAIN OUR WATCHER”

Though I’m not sure what the last word says? Kataru language is read right to left top to bottom, and doesn’t have punctuation from what I know.

But then that joke about them as a unit being a King? That actually seems plausible now?? ARE THEY THE FOURTH KING???

Damn now you get to coin a name for your joke theory like Gang King Theory or something

[artcupcakes]

You know,, doesn’t the funeral cutscene have some Kataru language in the back (around the part Jacket throws in his tape recorder)

And I thought it said “Bain, he was our Watcher”?? I can’t confirm it right now but I’ll try lookin

Good luck, bigger brain than mine!

[artcupcakes]

Thanks for being chill then!! I’m gonna leave a very long detailed review on the actual fic itself, but for now here is the preliminary (critique) overview.

Buckle up, AC;; this is kinda picky of me to be pointing this out. I am BY NO MEANS a trained author! Just putting that there.

So I only spot,, about three typos. If you meant them that way, of course!

Carving (divide, engrave) < Craving (longing, hunger)

Withdraws (take away, verb) < Withdrawals (can refer to drugs, noun)

Revenant (revived) < Reverent (respectful, awe)

(I thought “contentions” was a typo but turns out there’s a second definition to it. The more you know.) That’s sort of a minor thing though, the rest of my complaints are just quality of life things!

Awwww AWWWWW “his soul sang at its rightness?” bruhhhhh that’s so cute dude ughhhhghhghhhh in my opinions, how amazing a fic is would be measured by the emotions it elicits from the reader. When I read this particular line, I felt something akin to a punch of pure fluff. No joke, that means it’s really good.

So when writing, you want to try and not use the same word twice in a single sentence! (and if more experienced, connecting paragraphs count, too)

For example: “The ending might be close, but the new beginning was also just as close.” < “—just over the horizon.”

Same thing goes for metaphors and similes (imagery)!

“Which might be why his soul sings upon seeing the rare visiting heisters, It only made sense.” (WHICH IS SUPER ADORABLE BY THE WAY) < “—why his heart flutters in his chest upon catching a glimpse,”

Preference: I normally refer to the characters with different terms so it doesn’t feel quite as redundant. Like for Dallas: “Mastermind, Crew Chief, the leader, the heister, the veteran (uncommon), the caporegime (rare)”

Bain is my favoritest FAVORITE and he gets a lot more: “the hacker (case sensitive, capital refers to Joy), the navigator, the contractor, the guide, the veteran (rare), the Watcher (unused)”

(There’s a neat trick you can do with this: the way the characters refer to each other! My version of Dallas calls Bain “their navigator,” and likewise the hacker thinks “his colleague.”)

I really enjoy gen fics, THANK YOU OP for writing this! Also the dude is stinkin’ touch starved I love it hehdidjsjskxn

(I’m aware that it’s kind of ironic; me screaming at grammar and immediately swapping over to spamming keys. If I were writing myself, I would say I was “alternating/oscillating between the differing states.” The best way I’ve described this imo is as follows: “blinking on and off like some kind of defective binary code.”)

Last thing, most sentences can be combined using commas; semicolons are used when a sentence can technically end but you want to add something more.

AAAHAHHH the hopelessness is STRONG in this one! I NEED MORE PLEASE YEAAAHHHH

ESPECIALLY THE FIRST FEW SENTENCES!!! which I rewrote for you because I really really REALLU LIKED IT

“No matter what you do, death would always come to claim your soul, in the end. It was inevitable, eventually happening to everyone, with no exceptions.

Bain had known this unchangable fact ever since he had the ability to understand his circumstances.

His plans were meticulously lined up, and he had made peace with the situation. And yet, there is a stark dissonance between what he believes and what he does. The navigator would quietly panic about it as his remaining days steadily ticked down to zero. Dread pooling in his gut as the date ceaselessly approached.”

Bain knows that his relationship with them is far too close for it to be classified as strictly business, but he doesn’t care. YESSSSS OP THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING YATAAAAAAHHHHH

All in all, REALLY GOOD for your first post!!! NICE

Spelling, truly my oldest and worst enemy(Yet Grammar as whole I do pretty alright. One of my best subjects even).

Some of your rewrites are a bit too wordy for my taste; but that's a taste thing more than anything. Also me being a scatter brain but that's not the point! I'm so glad you the fic enough to show your passion by wanting to see it to be more! :D

As well as liking that the characterizations. That was something I worry about.

I'll make sure to not over use the names next time. It's a bit harder to do with a character like Bain instead of say Dallas(Nathan, Steele[and all of it's various additions that can be added such as Elder and The], Crew Chief, Banker, Mastermind, Medic, etc) but I'll see if I can scramble my brain eggs!

Either way really glad you liked it ^u^