#dexjess

[sadserotonin]

haleson mcpagen [text] I miss you // claya [text] Come over, we need to talk. // dexjess [text] Wait, you're cheating on me? // chrislina [text] Your mom called, said she hasn't seen you sober for three days. // mattea [text] Oh, right. I probably wasn't good enough any way.

[ Kid ] I miss you 

[ Matt ] I miss you too kid

[ Matt ] What's the occasion? Last thing you texted me was a fuck off and that was weeks ago.

[ Matt ] You haven't been drinking, have you?

[ Maya ] Come over, we need to talk. 

[ Clay ] ...about what?

[ Clay ] Listen, if Deck chewed some article of clothing or accessory again, I'm sorry. He's being housebroken for a reason.

[ Clay ]  He says sorry. I speak tiger, I know.

 [ Wifey ] Wait, you're cheating on me? 

[ Dex ] The rest of them are all mistresses, you're the real deal, wifey. That's gotta mean something, right?

[ Koala ] Your mom called, said she hasn't seen you sober for three days. 

[ Chris ] my be st freidn is goen caro l

[ Tea ] Oh, right. I probably wasn't good enough any way.

[ Matt ] Are you kidding me? You're fucking gorgeous. Everything about you. Dean's an idiot.

[sadserotonin]

domesticity meme for dexjess because don't you try and tell me they didn't live together at one point bye

who cooks normally? I really hope Jess cooks cause Dex has the culinary ability of a walnut bye.

how often do they fight? Not often, I can't even think of something they'd fight over. And if things did start getting heated Dex would probably just kiss her real hard and sex the frustration out of her lol

what do they do when they’re away from each other? A lot of things? Teach, do librarian things, read, grade, the ushe.

nicknames for each other? King and queen :)

who is more likely to pay for dinner? The only time you'll catch Dex being a gentleman ;)

who steals the covers at night? Jess probably. Dex likes being a little cool in bed.

what would they get each other for gifts? Dex probably shows up with new books for the library that he's heard her talk about. She probably gift wraps the numbers of cute baristas and waitresses for him to pick up lol

who kissed who first? I feel like it was a mutual thing, like they were both thinking it and it just happened. 

who made the first move? Move move? Like sexy move? BOTH. They're very sexual beings. Very.

who remembers things? Funny enough, Dex. He's very keen on things close to him, he'll remember something she mentioned wanting for months.

who started the relationship? Hah.

who cusses more? Dex pft man has the mouth of two sailors bye.

what would they do if the other one was hurt? Dex would try to fix it himself the arrogant butt. Jess would know better lol

[sadserotonin]

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw." / "I saw we just grow up, be adults and die." / "Holy Mary, who art in Heaven, pray for us sinners... so we don't get caught." for dex and jess

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw." “Now, now, wifey, I’m just as kink-curious as the next sex loving, hard fucking, rough and needy man, but that is just not something I can not consent to, I’m sorry.” The statement only earns Dex a backhand to the bare chest.

"I saw we just grow up, be adults and die." “Be adults?” Dex looks at Jess incredulously, “Forget it, my queen, I like us just the way we are.”

"Holy Mary, who art in Heaven, pray for us sinners… so we don’t get caught." “Pray in your head dammit,” Dex hisses to the woman crouched next to him who is just as naked as he is, both peering over McGonagall’s desk to the wizarding world’s most influential figures entering the room oblivious to their presence.

[sadserotonin]

Tomport : "Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding." / "I can’t really imagine you yelling at anyone." Dex/Jess: "You already did me." / "I’ve done a lot more for a lot less." Oliver/Jacen: “I was just… I’m in love with you.” / "This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life." Pauline/Dex: "Their breadsticks are like crack."

"Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding."

"Alexander Tomlin, is that a proposal I hear?"

"It could be. If you want it to be."

"Absolutely not, you’re going to have to be a little more romantic if you’re gonna get me to say yes."

"I can’t really imagine you yelling at anyone." 

"I can be intimidating when I want to be!"

"Of course and when exactly is the last time you gave a student detention?"

"…Not the point. Yesterday Emma asked for a cookie before bedtime and I said no so I think that counts for a hell of a lot!"

"You already did me." 

"Yes, but that’s not good enough, I want your brother now! Honestly, Jess, you should know by now not to introduce me to people that you don’t want me to fuck. Especially if they’re attractive!"

"I’ve done a lot more for a lot less."

"Um TMI Jess."

"What TMI Dex? We’ve had sex! On multiple occasions!"

 “I was just… I’m in love with you.”

"You’re in love with…you’re in love with me?" Jacen clears his throat and adjusts his face from the gawk that it’d set into, "Well it…it just so happens that I’m…in love with you too. So there. Your move, Mr. Watson."

"This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life." 

The words dry Jacen’s throat and makes his jaw clench. He tips his chin downward so his forehead is touching Oliver’s and lets out a breath through his nose. “I know, Oli, I know. This is the hardest thing I’ve done too. But I’ll be home before you know it. Twenty four months…that’s not so long.” He looks up to kiss Oliver on the forehead, “I’ll be back in no time, I promise.”

"Their breadsticks are like crack."

"That better be a hypothetical statement because I swear to Merlin, pack, if you know what crack tastes like-"

"Dex, you’re doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Being my dad."

"Oops. I’m the cool uncle, right, my bad. Carry on."

"Anyway, their shrimp is pretty great too."