C.M.O In Real Life (I was always sick, I got new lungs, immuno suppression is way worse than CF in a completely different way)
All of my dying words were altered and lost. So It's a new day!! :) just breathe! Pay attention to the good. We may not be the United States by law. But come on. We are all human.
We can fix this together, all the ideas are out there already rosa parks, MLK, slave labor still happens for this shit we buy in who knows where china? hormones in our food, we are trying to be non perishable but no one lives forever.
My risk of cancer, right now, without the ability to afford my check-ups on all of these immune suppressants. Is totally insane and I could die without the proper care. Tomorrow. And I just wanted to go back to school. But my health cannot sustain it right now.
I lost all of my dreams to this gene deformity. DF508. Cystic Fibrosis. I gave them all up for hopes of having a job with insurance someday. So I could take care of my donors lungs. Who's family I would love to meet someday. :) <3
Chariot. Gavin Degraw. :)
I love literacy. Words and I like writing but never got a chance. I didn't have enough time. Although I was never in a hurry. I like thinking for myself. I like doing things myself. I was never allowed. I had the rarest childhood disease of my time. The cystic fibrosis foundation was developing medications as fast as they could for these people with the gene DF508. Although it was said there were other gene deformities, it seemed a lot of the jealous folks wanted CF because we were given everything. And we were always getting love or what we wanted as in tangible objects and trips because my parents were told we would die in our teens. Which is why my bother never graduated high school. I loved school more than anything. It was a privilege. I wore my IV to school. I even took it on the ski bus. When I was allowed. I had a needle in my port a cath continuously since I was 3 years old. I was allergic to almost every synthetic materially. Like picc lines gave me huge rash. When latex was in most medical products of the time.
I regret my tattoos. And got them to take care of pain not related to my cystic fibrosis. The same reason why I got my earrings. I had self inflicted pain that wasn't due to my cystic fibrosis and I regret getting them. But I was on many anti inflammatories as a child, including prednisone the anti inflammatory kind. And ibuprofen at such high doses for my extremity horrendous menstrual cycles and my sinus headaches.
My teeth were always crooked due to holding nebulizers in my teeth while I played a video games on my Nintendo system all day before and after school. Or I did step aerobics with my mom at 5 am before she went to work. My brother tried to talk about our family but was always silenced because of fear of our dad.
My dad acted homophobic and racist, and republican, and gun toting stereotypical "American" even though I don't agree with stereotypes whatsoever. Every type of person that ever took care of me, nurses, doctors, etc always were the greatest people in the whole world. And in my eyes, they were the real heroes of the world. They were IT.
My brother used his words a lot to protect himself from judgement. He used my dad's hurtful words in front of his family. He had a huge heart. I was too sick to speak for him, I was too sick my entire life. Since October 15th 1988. My storied were lost, they were all in electronic form. I finally have a chance to speak, and I cannot find anyone I want to be with right now, I do not have the assets or the energy. And yes, my vagina is bleeding. PMS is PMS, Cystic Fibrosis is on top of NORMAL BODILY FUNCTIONS. So suck it up. Be a good human Yes?
