#dib slander

[ms-scarletwings]

On the topic of eveyone always telling me how alarmingly and recklessly trustworthy of strangers Dib Membrane is

Y’all, the writers know. They’re letting you know they know.

[artificialalienn]

nothing about invader zim would be the same if they had present father figures are u kidding??? everyone's a fucking mess bc they have father issues

I KNOW I DEBATED SAYING SOMETHING IN THE TAGS TGSDVHGGHF

[ms-scarletwings]

Honest truth, with every episode of this messed up show I finish rewatching I’m more are more sure that Dib is just as incompetent and short-sighted when it comes to his “mission” as Zim is. But it’s so funny to me that while Zim just makes bad plans, has awful priorities, and improvises a lot by the seat of his pants, Dib’s incompetent in the classical bumbling villain sense. Like, he’s doing the right thing, he generally has clever approaches and insights, makes full use of his resources, yet,

He’s still aesthetically and narratively such an antihero, the poor dweeb.

Observe, my magnificent Venn diagram

Only thing I didn’t want to tack on that because it bears worth of some more elaboration: Both of these two are horrible about recklessly arming their nemesis with tons of free information and striking opportunity that can only be used against them.

And Dib is worse at this, like, so… so much worse. Zim will do the classic ‘Muahahaha, now that I have you right where I want you, here’s a detailed presentation of my entire insidious plan, Batman!’ routine while at least having the class to wait until the hero is being lowered over the acid vat or tied to the train tracks. Dib, as a villain? Would start reciting that same speech while in the middle of trying to kidnap the hero, about 3 and a half steps way too early. It’s actually crazy how fast he will telegraph his next move even when he’s not in a position of having a real advantage yet.

The first time the two met and Dib stood there loudly showing himself as the most perceptive and hostile human in range? And then stood there explaining alien sleep cuffs and what he was going to do with them? And then stood there declaring war and that he’d identified Zim’s base location, swinging said cuffs around in front of the gnome brigade? Granted, he wasn’t aware of Zim’s security at the time, but the essence of that sequence was a pattern that he was more than happy to keep repeating for the next couple seasons.

Also, Zim’s brutalism, while it went to some shudder inducing places, is more expected from a genocidal maniac born from a race of colonial supremacists. It’s part of his theatrics and it’s fun for him in the same way it’s fun for his leaders to blow up innocent ice cream space-trucks and unlucky planets. Dib gets mean with their face offs in a way that’s just dripping with spite. All the time spite. Trivial, personal, petulant spite. Even more than Tak and her grudge, which, should be a lot more surprising to me. But it’s really not.

What it did do instead was remind me of a very interesting quote I once heard, from a Cracked video about online gaming behavior, of all places,

[ms-scarletwings]

Hysterical that Dib takes this whole “Earth’s Savior”, Men in Black, alien-fighting larp he’s got going on against Zim so seriously, and then the very second he had the guy’s actual leaders on a video call, it took one insult to turn him back into an average 12 year old threatening to swat someone over an online game match.

Remember this, from “The Nightmare Begins?”

Zim’s constantly the butt of the show’s humor for being such a bad and unsubtle invader but honest to god as if Dib could do much better in his position if this is what first contact with the enemy rulers looks like. At least the Resisty tried.

Like I know I’ve made this exact joke before but it’s forever so fucking funny to me picturing Red and Purple bracing themselves for another one of Zim’s “reports” and getting this instead

Like all else aside wtf would Dib even do if he knew Irk’s location? Fly his dumbass out to the homeworld and make like he’s the Goblinslayer? Send spy probes out to somewhere that took a Voot Cruiser 6 months just to travel to Earth from? Buddy you didn’t even have the Tak Ship working out at this point yet why are you like this hfhfhhfhf??? Kid’s such a mess someone come get him

[ms-scarletwings]

8 times Dib Membrane really needed to STFU

As in a non-conclusive handful of moments where Dib made his life immensely, impressively more difficult with nothing other than his own words

8. “Alien sleep cuffs, guaranteed to render all alien life forms unconscious.”

7. “Oh, come on! You're not mad about that whole 'leaving you to rot' thing, are you?

6. “You know Zim, when the nurse examines you, she'll notice that you don't have human organs. Then it's just a short step to a hospital and from there to an alien autopsy table and then you're just another segment on ‘Mysterious Mysteries’!”

5. “Look! It's me you want! I cast the spell on her because I wanted to see what it would do before trying it on myself!”

4. (-_ -)

3. (WHEN WILL HE LEARN)

2. (Whatever off-screen conversation took place in the movie where Zim learned the full potential of Membracelets)

1. “What about lungs?”

[ms-scarletwings]

Crying rn

[ms-scarletwings]

[ms-scarletwings]

So can we like talk about the way Dib answered his front door in “Planet Jackers” because it activated my fight or flight response

Lil’ creep