Sep 24, 2023
My life is an elaborate Rube-Goldberg machine that keeps punching me in the dick at random intervals while playing silly organ music with marbles.
Which is objectively funny, but sucks to live in.
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My life is an elaborate Rube-Goldberg machine that keeps punching me in the dick at random intervals while playing silly organ music with marbles.
Which is objectively funny, but sucks to live in.
http://bleacherbreaker.com/draymond-greens-dick-punching-days-numbered-09-2016
Draymond Green's Dick Punching Days Are Numbered
Draymond Green will no longer get away with punching dicks in the NBA.
The Golden State Warriors star player (one of many, god damn that team is stacked), made an unwanted name for himself by hunting down opposing players ballsacks and punching the ever loving shit out of them during the postseason.
Well Draymond Green, the NBA has taken note and decided to put it’s foot down:
The hits to the groin – termed “unnatural acts” by the league – are a point of emphasis after a number of situations involving Green during the postseason. Golden State’s All-Star forward had a habit of flailing his arms or legs and a few times made contact with opponents in the groin area.
Notice how Green is referenced directly in the above statement, because no one punches dicks like he does.
Whenever a guy points at his pregnant wife and announces “we’re pregnant,” I don’t know why she doesn’t punch his dick.
I don't remember why I drew this... Direct scan, needs some editing and clean up.
WHy am I thE onLY PERsoN tHat HASN'T goTTEN MDNSY YEt?! I AM GOING TO PUNCH A DICK. YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG FANGIRL I'VE CHECKED MY MAIL THREE FUCKIN TIMES. Jesus.
Okay so, I've been really confused in my Calculus class for the past semester and it isn't even for the regular confusing, math-y reasons? It's because every day these two dudes who sit next to me play this "game" where they try to punch each other in the dick??? Like, they each get only one punch, and they have to guess where their dicks are an punch at them and just. Every day. These kids are literally allowing each other to try to assault their goddamn genitalia. Is that a normal thing????? Do most boys do this, and I just haven't noticed or something?? Why hasn't the teacher noticed at all? I'm just so confused.
Friend: What'cha doing?
Me: ... ... ...
Friend: ... ?
Me: Thinking about all the people I should've punched in the dick when I had the chance.
Friend: Oh. Cool.