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[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/kittens-in-football-jerseys-11-2016

Fuck This Election. Here's A Bunch Of Kittens In Football Jerseys

Worst Election Ever!!!!

We are right in the middle of a potential Donald Trump win and we can’t stop vomiting in our own mouths at the BleacherBreaker office.

To get over this feeling of constant nausea here is a bunch of kittens where football jerseys.

Dallas Cowboys Versus Greenbay Packers. How Do They Manage To Live Together.

This New England Cat Is A Big Cheater

Down. Set. Hut.

This Seattle Fan Loves The Seahawks

So Much Better Than Watching The U.S. Election Another Adorable Football Fan

This cat is hardcore with its jersey and drinking problem.

And there rival cat.

This Cat Kinda Looks Like A Mini Panther

You’re welcome.

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/bill-belichick-fact-stroke-donald-trumps-dick-letter-misguided-praise-11-2016

Bill Belichick Did In Fact Stroke Donald Trump's Dick In A Letter Of Misguided Praise

That letter Donald Trump claims New England Patriot’s head coach Bill Belichick wrote in support of his campaign is apparently real!

Here’s what the NFL coach allegedly wrote:

“Congratulations on a tremendous campaign. You have to help with an unbelievable slanted and negative media and have come out beautifully. You have proven to be the ultimate competitor fighter. Your leadership is amazing. I have always had tremendous respect for you for the toughness and perseverance you have displayed over the past year is remarkable. Hopefully tomorrow’s election, the results will give the opportunity to make America great again.

Best wishes for great results tomorrow,

Bill Belichick”

Let’s be honest for a moment the word “tremendous” shouted of Donald Trump’s own words, but in reality it’s 100% true according to various sources.

There were doubts about the authenticity of the letter but CSN New England reports that Belichick “did indeed drop a note to Donald Trump on Monday,” and that Trump later “read the Belichick letter onstage.”

Another reporter then added to the fire:

Bill Belichick did indeed write Donald Trump a letter. The letter Trump read from Belichick is accurate. Those were Bill's words. #WBZ

— STEVE BURTON (@STEVEBURTONWBZ) November 8, 2016

Yet another reason to hate the biggest cheater in NFL history.

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/hits-whats-happening-america-today-11-2016

These Hits Are What's Happening To America Today

America is voting for its next President today, and the results are sure to leave the population stunned.

Fun fact, these players were all stunned after these hits too! This clip is in honor of America, and what it’s going through today!

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/nfl-week-9-overreaction-fun-times-11-2016

NFL Week 9 Overreaction Fun Times!

Week nine of the NFL season is so close to being over we can taste it. And it tastes pretty bland, to be honest. No worries, here are some good ole’ overreactions to add the flavor this week is so desperately missing!

Ryan Fitztragic threw two perfect passes… to the Dolphins defense. This team rides or dies on his arm, and it’s hanging half off, just like his next contract will be!

The Vikings are contenders no more! That offensive line will make sure this team doesn’t win another game all season.

Despite one win on the season, the 49ers continue to prove they are worse than the Browns. San Francisco is the first team in NFL history to allow seven straight hundred yard rushers. Yay for setting records!

The Browns never had a chance. Cody Kessler, who has shown some potential, should demand a trade in the offseason to a real team.

The Chargers finally figured out how to finish games! Too bad it took way too long in the hyper competitive AFC West. There’s always next year, in Los Angeles!

Speaking of the Raiders, WOWZA! Are they that good, or is nobody scared of the Broncos anymore? They ARE that good.

The Panthers may have squeaked one out against the “7-9 bullshit” Rams, but they won’t win many more with Cam no longer being Super. He just wants to have fun again, Commish!

The “7-9 bullshit” Rams look much more like a 6-10 team unless they change something. Like their QB, or head coach. Probably both.

If only every week didn’t involve the Patriots!

Browns players have guaranteed a win at point this season. BOLD PREDICTION. JOE NAMATH BOLD.

There it is tasty, the salt to your caramel. I hope you kinda maybe sorta enjoyed this week.

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/chicago-cubs-stopped-world-last-night-11-2016

The Chicago Cubs Stopped The World Last Night

The Chicago Cubs won the World Series last night in one of the most dramatic game sevens in sports history. Scratch that, The Chicago Cubs won the World Series last night in one of the greatest games ever played.

The journey back to the top of the mountain took 108 years and the forgiveness of goats everywhere.

.@Cubs You are forgiven.

— Goats (@EverythingGoats) November 3, 2016

Dexter Fowler started the night with a leadoff home run off Indians’ ace Corey Kluber. The world took note, stopped whatever silliness was happening, and turned on FOX to listen to Joe Buck and John Smoltz call history.

The game was dramatic and tense, everything a sports fan could ask for. At point, clinging to a three-run lead, the broadcast cut to a clip of Cubs young star Anthony Rizzo talking to his 39-year-old teammate David Ross in the dugout.

Just another example of why @MLB will miss @D_Ross3.

Congrats on a great career, #GrandpaRossy. pic.twitter.com/POwRq1vGk0

— MLB (@MLB) November 3, 2016

Ross was almost right. Cleveland came back in the 8th to tie the score after Aroldis Chapman gave up a two-run home run to journeyman outfielder Rajai Davis. The night before Chapman threw 60 pitches. He was visibly gassed as his pitches failed to reach their signature triple digits.

In the bottom of the 9th, Joe Maddon sent Chapman back out for God knows what reason. Instead of his usual fastball attack, the Cubs closer gave Indians hitters a steady dose of mid-80s sliders and got three outs.

Then it happened, a rain delay that fans thought was sent from God because neither of these teams could make history tonight. Their curses were too strong together.

Holy crap. Rain delay in extra innings of game seven of the World Series

— Don Banks (@DonBanks) November 3, 2016

Seventeen minutes later the rain stopped and play resumed, heavens be damnded. The Cubs, who called a brief team meeting to regroup during the delay, came out swinging. Kyle Schwarber got a single. With a pinch runner at first, Kris Bryant hit a ball to deep center that Rajai Davis caught in the warning track.

Schwarber’s pinch runner, Albert Almora Jr., tagged from first on the play to take second. Anthony Rizzo, a candidate for National League MVP, was walked to bring up Ben Zobrist. Then this happened.

The look on Anthony Rizzo’s face, his glass case of emotions ready to be shattered.

Chicago added on one more run before the Indians finally got their turn. Carl Edwards Jr. got two quick outs and everything looked good until he forgot where the strike zone was and walked Brandon Guyer.

Up came Rajai Davis, the hero of the Cuyahoga. Guyer took second on defensive indifference. David took a pitch back up the middle and drove in the run. The Cubs lead was cut to one and the meltdown looked imminent.

Cubs fans knew this story all too well. Before last night, Chicago had made a habit of taking leads late in the most critical moments and blowing them. I won’t name those moments, ask a Cubs fans and they will for me.

Ask the 44 million estimated viewers (as of this writing), and they will tell you that curses are made to be broken and hearts are made to be mended:

It finally happened. After 108 years the Cubs and the city of Chicago got their long awaited moment back in the sun. Glass case shattered.

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/is-tom-brady-your-nfl-mvp-10-2016

Is Tom Brady Your NFL MVP?

After a four-game suspension, the Tom Brady NFL revenge tour is in full gear. Should he be the front-runner for the MVP award right now? Is that a stupid question?

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/nfl-week-8-overreaction-fun-times-10-2016

NFL Week 8 Overreaction Fun Times!

Week eight in the NFL is almost over, and so with it goes my sanity. Luckily for us the weekend leading up to the Halloween snooze fest tonight was pretty good. Hey, maybe that means I’ll be able to get to double digits with my insights today. Read below to find out!

Dak Prescott, Ezekiel Elliot, and Dez Bryant ARE the new Aikman, Smith, and Irvin.

The Browns almost did it! They got so close before remembering who they are; the next 0-16 ultimate NFL loser.

Another tie! What is this, futbol?

Seattle NEEDS Russell Wilson to run the ball to have any chance in the playoffs.

The Falcons look real, I mean if Matt Ryan can continue to have ice in his veins as his defense bleeds touchdowns like the fresh corpse they are.

The Jets will be last years Chiefs! After starting 1-5, they will win out and somehow make the playoffs for the first time in Ryan Fitzpatrick’s career. Although he may not be the starter at that point.

The 49ers didn’t play, but still lost as Santa Clara County is threatening to take control of their stadium. This franchise might be sadder than the one in Cleveland.

The Raiders are undefeated on the ROAD, and that makes them a legit Super Bowl contender, which means Oakland needs to train a TON of new firefighters before February.

Almost at 10, time to waste a spot!

The Texans somehow won and are 5-3, they might be on the only team trying not to lose their division.

There it is. NFL week eight is almost over. We almost survived the journey together. I hope you almost enjoyed it.

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/craig-anderson-wife-cancer-shutout-10-2016

Craig Anderson Kicks Cancer's Ass With A Big Salute To His Wife's Diagnosis

Craig Anderson has been on an emotional rollercoaster over the last week. The Senators goalie recently learned that his wife, Nicolle, was diagnosed with Cancer. He immediately took a hiatus from the team to be by her side.

Returning on Sunday night, Anderson sent a message of resilience to his wife, teammates, and fans, posting a 2-0 shutout win in Edmonton.

Senators captain Erik Karlsson put the win perfectly into perspective, “each and every individual in here made sure he didn’t have anything else to think about.”

Anderson took a leave of absence on Thursday and wasn’t expected to return so quickly. After Andrew Hammond suffered a groin injury during Friday’s game, Anderson rejoined the team.

Before he returned to the net, they collectively agreed to publicize Nicholle’s cancer diagnosis and the fact that his return was her idea.

“Given that they’re in a wait period and Andrew Hammond’s injury last night, Nicholle told Craig to phone me, which he did during the game. We talked to Craig after the game and it was determined that because they’re in a wait period and they were going to drive to Ottawa together as a family today that it would be all right for Craig to come and rejoin his team,” GM Pierre Dorion said.

“She was the one that said, ‘Craig, your teammates need you right now,'” he added.

Anderson didn’t miss a beat, making 37 saves against a potent Oilers offense that had won five in a row and was averaging 3.6 goals per game.

As the shutout became a reality, Anderson hung his head as his teammates surrounded him.

“It really hit us approaching him on the ice because he broke down out there,” said defenseman Marc Methot. “I can only imagine what’s running through his head. The way he came out and performed, that’s a pretty brave thing do.”

Players on both benches wore purple badges in support of the goalies wife and others wore “Hockey Fights Cancer” ties.

After he was named first star, Oilers goalie Cam Talbot stayed on the ice to applaud his efforts and his wife’s fight against cancer.

Anderson 1st star GIF including Talbot cc @hhccaacc pic.twitter.com/x11CzTsVWx

— Stephanie (@myregularface) October 31, 2016

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/bleacher-breaker-presents-let-it-fly-6-may-and-cheese-sandwich-10-2016

Bleacher Breaker Presents: Let It Fly 6 – May And Cheese Sandwich

Scott and Jon discuss twerking in the NFL, then Jon opens a sandwich shop. Yep, that’s about it!

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/nfl-week-7-overreaction-fun-times-10-2016

NFL Week 7 Overreaction Fun Times!

Week seven this NFL season has one snoozefest left before we can move on to week eight. I don’t know about you, but this NFL season has been particularly bad. And not just because Roger Goodell doesn’t know the difference between fun and poor sportsmanship and refs don’t know when to throw a flag or not based on touching.

The play of the teams this season has been bad. Like, this is probably why the NFL is losing ratings bad. But I digress, here are my overreactions from week seven, please enjoy responsibly:

The wrapping paper is off Sam Bradford and his shine is already turning to rust. The defense will have to play offense if the Vikings want to finish their Super Bowl run.

Heading into the bye, the 49ers should just forfeit the rest of the season, clean house, and get healthy for next year, which will probably be just as disappointing.

The Seahawks have a never ending bag full of 4th quarter magic, and judging from both missed field goals, about a half full bag for overtime. It’s “really fun” to watch.

In fact, this whole sad excuse for a season has been “really fun” to watch…

Geno Smith had a good run his second go round! Too soon?

Kevin Hogan is NOT the answer in Cleveland. BRING HUE HIS NEXT VICTIM!

I don’t want to watch MNF tonight, can we just skip to next Sunday?

That’s it, sorry I couldn’t hit the magical double digit mark. Some weeks just aren’t good enough to deserve it. Yay shitty sports!

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/thoughts-josh-brown-10-2016

My Thoughts On Josh Brown

Josh Brown, kicker for the New York Giants, is on the record stating he has been beating his wife for years. Yeah, he’s a monster. FUCK. THAT. GUY.

Josh Brown’s wife is on the record that she has been beaten by her husband for years. Yeah, he’s a monster. FUCK. THAT. GUY.

Josh Brown’s employer ignored the issue, only suspending him for one game, probably because of the color of his skin, until certain confessions came to light recently. Now he is not allowed to travel with the team because they need to save face. FUCK. THAT. TEAM. FUCK. THAT. GUY.

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/nfl-week-6-overreaction-fun-times-10-2016

NFL Week 6 Overreaction Fun Times!

Week six of the NFL season is nearly over, with only the sad matchup between the underperforming Cardinals and the Ryan Fitztragic lead Jets left to go. Maybe week six is over, actually.

Anyhoo, it’s now time, as usual for the seven people that typically read an article at Bleacher Breaker, to enjoy my highly accurate overreactions from week six. Please enjoy responsibly.

The “truth” about Carson Wentz is out. He’s a rookie QB and won’t look like Sam Bradford does in Minnesota every game. Time to tank for Watson, Philly fans!

The “truth” about Dak Prescott is out in Dallas too, only he recovered from his first interception by tossing THREE TOUCHDOWNS. This kid is the real fucking deal. Dallas should finish this season 12-4 with Romo on the bench.

Speaking of Dallas, Ezekiel Elliot is on pace for 1,800 yards as a rookie. DAMN.

Colin Kaepernick played. He didn’t turn the ball over and hit a deep TD to Torrey Smith. Unfortunately the Bills scored 45 points, which is 100 percent Kaepernick’s fault and should be benched immediately.

The Seahawks could go all the way again, as long as refs keep ignoring blatant pass interference calls that LITERALLY change the outcome of the game. Seriously, Sherman locked arms with Jones and pulled him back. THROW THE FUCKING FLAG!

The Panthers defense went from first to worst. Well, maybe second worst. They’re not 49ers levels of incompetent yet.

The Raiders pulled an Oakland classic, flatlining at home in a game that would have cemented them as contenders. Here comes the losing streak!

San Diego got a BIG win. Holy shit they didn’t blow it. They fucking tried, go back and watch the end of that game. God did they try. But holy fucking shit the Chargers didn’t blow it!

Is it overreacting at this point to continue to say the Cleveland Browns will not win a single game this season?

Against all odds the Washington Racists have won four in a row, officially making it a successful season in our nation’s capitol.

That’s it. I’m out of gas and out of coffee. Back to sleep. I hope you chortled at least once.

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/vallejo-ferry-real-hero-game-3-nlds-10-2016

The Vallejo Ferry Is The Real Hero Of Game 3 Of The NLDS

The Vallejo Ferry was the real winner last night in San Francisco. Not the Giants. Not the Cubs. Not even Giants fans believing in even year magic one more time.

No, the game lasted 13 innings and ran for over five hours. Bay Area fans didn’t get to sleep until almost midnight. Chicago fans had it much worse.

Or did they? Entering the bottom of the 13th, with 20 minutes to go until midnight, the Giants’ videoboard shared this epic message, “The Vallejo Ferry will be departing no later than midnight.”

Three minutes later, the Giants won. The team got the message.

The Vallejo Ferry is the real MVP.

Pretty sure that Panik takes the Vallejo Ferry and really needed to end this game. #SFGiants

— AT&T Park Seagull (@ATTSeagull) October 11, 2016

Such a big next 3 minutes for everyone who has to catch the Vallejo Ferry.

— Bill Simmons (@BillSimmons) October 11, 2016

Vallejo ferry is about to be LIT! #BAYseball #postseason

— Dallas Braden (@DALLASBRADEN209) October 11, 2016

San Fran fans bolting to the Vallejo Ferry #BeliEVEN #CHIvsSF @ramonashelburne pic.twitter.com/HSjI05H9tW

— Jordan Tomiyama (@Jttomiyama) October 11, 2016

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/panthers-pooped-pants-cubs-acted-like-cubs-indian-going-alcs-10-2016

The Panthers Pooped Their Pants, The Cubs Acted Like The Cubs, And The Indian Are Going To The ALCS!

Sports happened last night.

The Carolina Panthers shit the litter box, letting the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and 2nd round draft pick anti-hero Roberto Aguayo beat them 17-14 on MNF. The game was bad. Football has been bad this year.

This game was especially bad. The panthers are bad. The Buccaneers are bad. Roberto Aguayo, the most accurate kicker in college history, has been atrociously bad since arriving to the big show.

Yet somehow, after going three for seven on field goals leading up to the end of the game, Aguayo managed to kick the ball straight down the middle of the uprights, sending the Panthers’ season into full blown panic mode.

Speaking of Panik, the San Francisco Giants’ 2nd baseman sent San Francisco fans home happy after five hours and four minutes with a walkoff double against the Cubs in the bottom of the 13th.

Your browser does not support iframes.

Let me be clear, fans were happy because they got to go home. I was talking to a Cubs fans during the game and we both agreed this one went far too long. Baseball has a massive pace of play issue rearing its ugly head right now, even without extra innings. At least no one missed the ferry. We’ll get to that in another article I haven’t written yet.

So inbetween the Carolina Panthers shitting the litter box and thousands of fans nearly missing the ferry, the Cleveland Indians did something pretty special.

They put an end to David Ortiz’s MLB career! The Indians swept the Boston Red Sox to advance to the ALCS where they will face the Toronto Blue Jays. Big Papi will get in the Hall of Fame, but he won’t get the Peyton Manning story book ending.

Your browser does not support iframes.

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/remember-time-derek-anderson-lost-shit-reporter-10-2016

Remember That Time Derek Anderson Lost His Shit On A Reporter?

Derek Anderson is starting on Monday Night Football for the Panthers tonight in place of the injured Cam Newton. In Anderson’s dishonor, I now remind you of the time a reporter asked him why he was laughing on the sideline during his time with the Cardinals when the team when losing by 18 points.

Enjoy:

For Derek Anderson’s sake, let’s hope tonight goes a little better.

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/nfl-week-5-overreaction-fun-times-10-2016

NFL Week 5 Overreaction Fun Times!

NFL week five is officially almost over. The week was unexciting and filled with stinkers like the Rams coming up short to the Bills, or whatever happened between the Ravens and Washington.

Now we overreact to the week that just wasn’t fun. Please try and enjoy:

Carson Wentz is human! It’s all downhill from here boys!

The Browns will never stop being the Browns. Bring on another QB!

Tom Brady is back, and will make up for missing four weeks of fantasy stats VERY quickly. Hell hath no fury like a Brady scorned.

Dak Prescott is the future in Dallas, don’t lie to us Mr. Jones! Romo had a good run. Well, more like a light jog with lots of water/bone breaks.

How have no head coaches been fired yet? More of an observation than overreaction, but damn that’s surprising!

Minnesota is the best team in the NFL and wouldn’t be without Sam Bradford. I said it.

I can’t even hit 10 this week. I apologize, but the NFL is giving me nothing good right now. Maybe next week will bring the excitement back…

[bleacherbreaker-blog]

http://bleacherbreaker.com/nfl-week-4-overreaction-fun-times-10-2016

NFL Week 4 Overreaction Fun Times!

NFL week 4 is over, and with it comes my incredibly accurate overreactions. Coming on a Tuesday, you get the full week of overreactions, not just my normal Monday bullshit. Enjoy!

Remember when I said the Viking would meet the Broncos in the Super Bowl? Not looking so crazy after last night, is it?

Sam Bradford can throw the ball! And has competent wide receivers! There’s NO way Norv Turner can fuck this up, right?

The Panthers season is over. Officially. The Falcons signed, sealed, and delivered and delivered the package in person. Well, mostly Julio Jones, but the NFL is “not” about the individual.

The Bills blanked the Patriots! Start the Super Bowl parade in Buffalo! I mean, it’s not like that city will get one in February, might as well just throw it now.

Odell Beckham Jr. might be the first player ever suspended for an entire season for being an on-field diva.

The Ryan Fitztragic show in New York is making Geno Smith very happy. After all, he can’t be any worse. Probably.

The Falcons will put a 50 burger up on Seattle this weekend. Mark my words.

The Browns are the worst team in the NFL.

Wait, no, the Dolphins are the worst team in the NFL.

The Raiders are relevant for the first time since 2002! Vegas is ready for you, boys!

There you have it, NFL week 4 overreaction love and hate. You probably hate it, but I fucking love it!