#died!

[jerseymuppet]

@raytoromoans2 is the horniest mf alive this mf is like one of those multi cartridge pens you can switch between? but instead of multiple ink reservoirs its just cock. this mf is duel wielding so many cocks you don't even know

[pikeclaw]

you set sail alone, there is no crew

no one on the deck who can help you

happy late birthday @hollyfurs !!!

[cottoncandyskis]

This was the craziest day on my LIFE

[flatbed-ford]

when u spend three hours smokin dope reconfiguring your phone settings and playing jenga and cards against humanity w you're friend's compadre's and then lil furry grey and black kittens

[f1sherlocksoccer]

Manchester United’s #AskCarrick fan interaction degenerates into PR disaster

I love it when @ManUtd use the #AskCarrick hashtag because this beauty always gets unleashed #sotrue pic.twitter.com/JOm44q6arQ

— Thomas Nicoll (@TSNicoll) February 3, 2014

''#askcarrick hi have you ever thought of turning your back on United like you did on Charlie Adam's free kick'' — Controlled Ignorance (@men_Ace) February 4, 2014

#AskCarrick if you could drop one player from the team how would you tell Cleverley?

— Dave (@welshdave2183) February 3, 2014

#AskCarrick. why do you think you are so massively overrated by everyone in the media? — Andy Hayhurst (@andyhayhurst) February 3, 2014

Do you ever look at Young, Cleverly, Smalling, Welbeck & question the point of living?#AskCarrick

— Biatchhhhh (@sonyletmedown) February 3, 2014

#AskCarrick How do you do that trick where you disappear in big games? — Rob (@robbo555) February 3, 2014

#AskCarrick Is it true that @Persie_Official injuries are due to his irregular menstrual cycle? — #CÖYG (@TheMagician49) February 3, 2014

#AskCarrick can you ask the geniuses at your PR dept to proceed with the #askcleverlyand #askashleyyoung Q&A program? — ccdev (@ccdev70) February 4, 2014

#AskCarrick hashtag must be the second worst decision taken by @ManUtd after appointing Moyes as a manager #mufc

— sarah-ann (@HEYsenses) February 4, 2014               

And here are some more:

#AskCarrick if you could drop one player from the team how would you tell Cleverley?#askcarrick if someone held a gun to your head & asked do you want to to play with Cleverly or Fellaini....would you be buried or cremated??#AskCarrick how does it feel to have scored less goals than Jon Flanagan this season?#AskCarrick How does it feeling knowing Begovic has more goals than you this season#AskCarrick If 1 train left London at 9am & travelled at 60 mph & another left Birmingham at 9:45 ... just how bad is Tom Cleverley?!#AskCarrick Would you say hello to my dog who is called Carrick? This is because we managed to teach him to sit but not move forward.#askcarrick in what game was your most memorable pass back to your keeper?#askcarrick have you tried wearing your kit backwards to see if it will help you pass the ball forward?Man United are currently sitting 7th. Does it give you fond memories of playing for Tottenham? #AskCarrick#askcarrick If you were a footballer, who would you like to play for?

#askcarrick What's more funnier, Begovic scoring more goals than you or United's league position?

#askcarrick Whilst playing alongside Cleverly, do you ever feel Scholes never actually retired?

#askcarrick Did you know that unlike rugby, a forward pass is perfectly legitimate option in football?

#askcarrick Have you ever returned home to find Giggs in your house? And were you concerned?

#askcarrick Is Cleverly as annoying to play with as he is to watch?

#askcarrick Can Cleverly tie his boot laces or does he ask at the side to do it for him?

#askcarrick Do you die a little inside when you look someone to pass to and Cleverly is to your left?

#askcarrick When you look up and only see Nani, Valencia & Cleverly are you tempted to boot the ball out of play?

#askcarrick When you see Ashley Young warming up down the touchline how much hopelessness and despair fill your body?

#askcarrick Apart from football, what other things you are hopeless at?

#askcarrick On the scale of Tom Cleverly to 10, how bad is Ashley Young?

#askcarrick Does Lauren Moyes know your position?

#askcarrick Do you think United will find more penetration when playing Cleverly blindfolded?

[tangledkelp]

so the summer after i graduated from hs my sister and i found a horrible fic and yesterday we found the prequel and read the first 5 chapters...

[marco-van-ginkel]

OMG LAUGHING, DYING! SKY JUST PLAYED A REMIX OF USHERS "MAKE LOVE IN THIS CLUB"...AND MADE IT MAKE LOVE IN THIS KLOOP"