#difficult topics

[nanami-kento-rp]

hi ken,

might be a bit heavy of an ask sorry not my finest moment i’m afraid.

i did things i’m not proud of; the kind when i did them, i felt like i betrayed myself & my values. i know it will sound like i’m making an excuse when i say i did them to protect myself and to survive even if it’s true. maybe there was another way but one i didn’t see back then & even now i still don’t know if there was a better option i can take than the choices i made. all the choices i made i know i made them out of fear; i don’t really know what safety is.

mostly i just feel ruined in a way where i carry a lot of resentment for what circumstances forced me to do. how i no longer feel like i deserve to have good things because i did things that are questionable. i want to pursue what i want to do, but i feel like the current me would not be able to create what i wanted to create. the person who could create what i want to create is the me that no longer exists because i’m no longer pure. i also feel sick thinking about the possibility of one day people finding out every skeleton i have in my closet if i do make it. i know how people have no tolerance for mishaps even if i can forgive myself. mostly i’m at a lost at what to do.

you’re stalwart in your values & i admire you for your persistence in being kind in a world that is cruel. i find myself ashamed to admit i can barely keep it together when the smallest inconvenience would make me angry lately & upset. i have low tolerance for disappointment after everything i went through i don’t wish to disclose.

if you’d have any words or scolding to impart haha, i’d appreciate it.

I am not anybody to scold you.

I want to focus on this idea you have that you are "not pure". What really is purity? Is it a person who has never done any wrong in life? Is it a person whom everybody likes? Is it a even a person.

Purity is a ridiculous notion to pin onto a human being.

I myself am no great human— despite what people might think. I too have flaws. I am in no way "pure".

Let's be completely clear on this. Humans make mistakes. That does not make us horrible/impure. Humans make mistakes and it is FROM THESE MISTAKES that we LEARN. AND we try and try to do better! THIS IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT.

YOU MUST TRY TO DO BETTER. WHY? BECAUSE YOU CARE!

And that is all that matters!

Now, let's be clear. Sometimes, we try, and we fuck up. We mess up. And sometimes, the options are so limited we take the one that we can do. The one that suits us best. That's not a sin. That's not a moral failing. The world is cruel, but you don't have to be. That includes not being cruel to yourself. (You are also a person, right?)

So, in summation, you should start to see yourself as just a person, bumbling along in this messy fucked up life, just like all the other people are doing around you. You're okay. You're human. 😌

Here is a song for you.

-Nanami

[jokerislandgirl32]

Okay, I'm Doing This...Please Tell Me Which Fic To Post Before My Surgery!

Wild Violets Chapter 1

ZV One Shot

Voting ended onJun 21, 2023

Wild Violet's Chapter 1: The first official chapter of my rewrite of Wild Violet. Yeah! This chapter goes back in time to when Violet was 11 years old and still living with her parents. A hurricane changes everything for Violet's family, and she struggled to pick up the pieces. Very angst driven, but it needs to happen, forgive me.

ZV One Shot: Fluffy Zach, Violet, and Varina feels (aka family fluff) all based on one person's poking another in the arm. Varina is confused when she sees a strange marking on her daddy's bicep, and she's bound and determined to get to the bottom of it, much to Zach's displeasure.

[ranger-rai]

What happens when a Pokémon outlived it's trainer?

Oof. Asking the tough questions today.

Honestly it varies from person to person but I think Eddie is the best Ranger here to ask.

------

Eddie: Oh yeah, Lotta people don't like to think bout this one, but it's not all bad.

I found Smokey (Bewear) as a Stufful.

She was incredibly burned and in bad shape, turns our that her trainers home burned down and unfortunately their trainer didn't make it.

She was my first rehabilitation experience.

Back then I really only saw all of this ranger stuff as a job, something temporary while worked on building a social media presence, I was trying to follow in the footsteps of my boi Raihan.

I thought it would be easy to just apply medicine, make sure she ate and watched her get better, but she just wouldn't eat.

Her body was getting better, but way slower than she should have been, and everyone was saying how she might not make it.

One day when I was trying to feed her, I noticed that she liked it when I was recording myself for vlogs and social media.

I started showing her my vids and she became interested, and I told her I'd show her more only if she started eating.

Eventually she started eating more and would get super excited when I would come by with my vids.

You wouldn't believe how fast she bounced back.

We contacted the trainers remaining family and found out that he loved taking photos and videos, and apparently his Stufful, who he named Smokey, enjoyed it too.

His family lived in another region and they wouldn't have time for her, so I offered to watch over her and keep her happy.

I try to meet with his family every so often and I communicate with them a lot.

Lot of the time, pokemon who outlive their trainers, either by old age or unfortunate events, tend to get depressed and are usually passed back to the family of the trainer, some finding comfort in this while other might shut down.

In some rare occasions some pokemon become more ferral or aggressive.

Smokey here is a great example of finding hope after a terrible loss, and now that she's evolved, she's such a huge help and she loves being in videos and vlogs.

She also loves to show off her power, so check out our socials and see what she can do!

Lates peeps!

--------

Rai:

Eddie definitely has passion for what he does, and his dedication to pokemon is second to none.

Passing of a trainer is just as difficult as the passing of a pokemon, which is why our bonds and connections are so strong and so difficult to deal with but they are worth having.

[hopeymchope]

Empathy is being able to understand and feel how others are feeling. Sympathy and compassion is the ability to feel for others. Empathy is not needed to be a good person. You can have 0 empathy and not understand or feel at all how another person is feeling but still feel for them and care about their feelings. I also don’t really like the phrasing of the disorder part. It sounded pretty generalizing and demonizing to people with ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder/Sociopaths), NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) etc. People with those disorders are not inherently bad and the implication that if they’re not “treated” they can’t be trusted is.. not great (the disorder doesn’t make you a bad person, the choices you make can). Not to mention that things like ADHD can cause low/no empathy as well. The main point is, feeling and understanding what another feels is not the important part, showing them respect and kindness is, and a disorder doesn’t cause you to choose to be malicious.

Ugh, this got heavy fast. Sadly, I don't think I'm capable of transitioning over to your perspective. Maybe that's my own failing, but I'll present my understanding of the topics at hand, and you can do with it whatever you like.

Sure, empathy is not the same thing as giving someone sympathy. You can give sympathy to someone's pain and show them kindness without being able to understand what exactly they are feeling. But I do feel like the comprehension that "Oh, this person feels sad in the same way I sometimes feel sad" is incredibly valuable. If you can only view other people's emotions as intrinsically unknowable things because they are outside of your personal experience, that's got to be a pretty difficult place to start building relationships from. Let's just say that being able to have some empathy for others definitely helps.

Is it fair/accurate to link ADHD to a lack of empathy, though? It feels like it'd be easy for someone who doesn't understand the behavior of people with ADHD to make that kind of mistake - to judge them as lacking the ability to relate to others. But not overtly displaying your empathy isn't the same thing as totally lacking in it.

So: APD/Sociopathy. MentalHealth.gov and Health.com define Antisocial Personality Disorder/Sociopathy as "a mental health condition in which a person has a long-term pattern of manipulating, exploiting, or violating the rights of others." The Mayo Clinic defines Antisocial Personality Disorder as "a mental disorder in which a person consistently shows no regard for any kind of morality and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others harshly or with callous indifference. They also show no guilt or remorse for that behavior."

I can only determine what this is like based upon expert opinion, so I defer to these definitions. I've never known anyone (at least no one confirmed or diagnosed) that had APD. But based upon these descriptions — yes, I do think that people who fit this description and diagnosis need to receive some kind of treatment for their issues. Yes, I think that such individuals are destructive to both themselves and those around them. But I especially don't think they can simply make good choices to change their behavior, because those "choices" are controlled by their brain chemistry. When it comes time for them to try and make a choice, they're at a massive disadvantage. They can't just will themselves into suddenly being better to those around them when their own mind is demanding otherwise. They need help, and they deserve to have it. I'm definitely not trying to criminalize these people, but it sure doesn't sound good for anyone for them to just stay exactly as they "naturally" are.

And I'm... probably not a good person to talk to about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I personally am close to far too many people that have been raised by or formerly married to individuals diagnosed with NPD who are unmedicated and untreated. The abuse that my loved ones have suffered at the hands of people with NPD has absolutely tainted my judgment.

One of those people with NPD was perfectly fine and pleasant to be around as long as he was on his medication. Unfortunately, one day he suddenly decided the "medicine [was] controlling [him]," so he went off of it cold turkey and quickly became horrifically abusive. He then insisted this was his "true self," and he'd never go back. He has not, to date, ever returned to his medication that kept his disorder in check, but he has destroyed every single relationship in his life.\

So yeah, I'm sort of biased against leaving NPD completely untreated just from personal experience.

[storytimewithnikokat]

Ok, this isn't a story, but this is still an important post! Most of my stories are of mature nature and should be read at your own discretion.

My stories could include the following:

Gore

Sex/Adultery

Religious/Political topics

Extremely dark humor

Abuse of any kind

Mental Disorders

Sensitive topics (including self-harm, suicide, etc.)

And more

A big reason why I tend to write stories with these types of themes is because I would like to shine a light on these topics.

People tend to find these topics uncomfortable to talk about, which is understandable, but these things aren't getting the attention I believe they should be getting.

Now, all of my stories will be entirely fictional, so these themes will be overly exaggerated at times, but half of the point of these stories is just bring attention to these topics. Otherwise, its entirely for entertainment.

As for one final disclaimer, I must express that not all of my stories will contain these themes. It's one thing to use stories to bring light to uncomfortable and scary topics, but its a whole other thing to use such topics as pure entertainment.

With all that said and done, I hope I can bring you smiles and tears, and open your mind to a world you may or may not have known.

I'll see you soon.

-Niko Kat

[arctimon]

I would just like to add my two-cents to this discussion if I may. As a person who belongs to two cultures, I'd like to point out the cultural nuances when it comes to age-appropriacy. I'm aware this is an American-made show, but authors themselves, despite writing in English, may not subscribe to the same group of beliefs. Ages of consent differ wildly across different countries. Some cultures are a bit more loose with their distinctions between "kid" and "teenager," though I never- (TBC)

...see this addressed. I'm not condoning anything under-age personally, I just wanted to put this idea out there. What may seem inappropriate to one group, may actually be the norm of another. I personally quite enjoy your stories and how they take on a more-realistic aspect of coming-of-age sans the constraints of the show's canon and "for kids" parameters. And I'm a stringent believer of internet autonomy- if you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to read it. No one should pressure... an author to change their artistic vision. A lot of art is problematic, my goodness. It's also important for folks to keep in mind--in the case of fanfic-- that it is simply that- fiction. Fiction comes with a freedom of expression. A freedom informed by the cultural norms of the author. I appreciate and admire how mindful you've been with your responses on this subject, and I hope your work and your art will not be hindered by this upset.

1.) The age of consent in the state of California is 18. There are also no “Romeo-and-Juliet” laws in California.  This means that two minors between the ages of 14 and 17 cannot have sexual relations with each other without it being considered illegal. You know how I know this?  Because I did the research.  You bet your patootie that if I was going to get anywhere near that level, I was going to make sure to do the research first long before I got to that point. Yes, it is a fictitious California, but I’m not going to change the laws because “fiction”.  And you are correct that consent varies wildly from place to place.  The Philippines is 12 (yikes).  Cameroon in Africa is 21.  It just all depends on where you go.  And cultures also vary differently as to what is acceptable and what is not. But we’re in California, so I am going to abide by them. 2.) I have a love-hate relationship with the “Don’t Like? Don’t Read.” mantra.  I agree with the fact that anyone that’s just looking for stuff to get upset about and then find it is just asking for it. For example, I can go to Fanfiction.net right now, look up every single M-rated fanfic concerning Big Hero 6, and read every single one.  I’m not going to because that’s not something I’m even remotely interested in at all.  But there are people who do that and get upset that they’re reading M-rated stuff.  Like...there was a warning and everything.  Why are you upset? (In all seriousness, don’t do that.  I took the hit so you don’t have to.  There’s...some weird stuff on there.) This situation, where they’re reading something they enjoy (hopefully) and find a part that can be uncomfortable, is a bit different.  It’s not maliciousness on anyone’s part.  It’s just something that happens and no one is really at fault.  And again, that’s where the ratings system is suppose to work.  Sometimes, it doesn’t.  And sometimes, ratings can be skewed a little bit.  For example, I’m pretty sure any mention of blood is suppose to be an automatic M on most sites.  I don’t rate it M because I don’t consider that an M-rated thing.  I consider that a T.  But that’s just me. 3.) I do think (and I’m being careful here when saying this) that sometimes, people treat fiction as fact.  I’m not saying that in this case it was, but it does happen. My stories are fiction.  They are not real.  I can dress it up as much as I want and try to stay as canon-aligned as possible, but at the end of the day, my stories are not the show.  You are not going to see a situation where Hiro and Karmi are sleeping in the same bed as each other in the show (like in Overnight).

I still get people who say that I should write for the show, and while it’s flattering, I cannot begin to tell you just how much of a bad idea that would be.  Mark and Bob and Nick are not ringing my phone any time soon. And fiction does come with a freedom of expression...to a point.  I cannot post whatever I want on FF.net, DevArt, AO3, or even here.  The rules do tend to bend, but even the hardest metal eventually breaks.  I wouldn’t be able to post Hiro/Karmi smut (not that I would want to, anyway) because that would immediately get taken down on two of those three platforms.  AO3 is an archive where things are a little bit more lax; I know this because I have reported stories on AO3 without success.  And they pretty much used the “freedom of expression” thing as the reason why it wasn’t taken down. So I get what you’re saying, but I think it’s a shared responsibility of both the author and reader to make sure that things stay calm. 4.) Which leads to this. I haven’t been upset by anything that has happened today.  People often associated wordy diatribes with anger or unhappiness, but I can assure you that’s not true. There was a situation.  It was taken care of.  Some unnamed person wanted to continue causing a ruckus.  That was also taken care of. People, understandably, saw what I had been posting and was curious about my mindset on things.  I’m not going to fault people for that.  As someone who is “well-known” in the fandom, I’ve come to expect that.  And as long as people are willing to keep an open mind and ask things in a mature and polite way, I’m always happy to answer people’s questions.

I have never felt pressure by anyone to stop writing something, up to and including the Asks I’ve gotten today.  I am going to continue to write and work on my stories as I see fit.  There will be emotional things, like Hiro’s parents.  There will be progress in relationships (not just in Hiro/Karmi).  I’m not going to shy away from difficult topics.  But perhaps I can take a leaf from the show’s book and try to balance a little bit more humor into it. Thank you for your question.

[satsekhem]

What kind of Kemetic 201 or 301 content are you looking for? Do you have any examples of topics? I want to create more, in-depth content but I don't quite know what that would entail

Hey there.

After getting this ask, I started chatting with TTR on this since it’s something we’ve discussed time and time again. They compiled a list of topics and I’ve added to it, which you can find below. But as the two of us were discussing this, they mentioned that a good number of the posts we’ve put out in 2019 push beyond the 101 topics and into territories that most people are uncomfortable or unable to discuss.

What we mean is that we’re going beyond the altars and the relationship building and the offerings and the usual content you see in asks. We’ve been exploring aspects of ma’at that are beyond what most basic users are aware of, delving deeper into isfet and how it relates to ma’at. We’ve been discussing actual spiritual aspects (in my instance, I spent the first 6 months of last year relating the hours from the Book of the Night to the months of the year and I got absolutely no comments, no traction, no real meat to feed on to better hone my ideas) relative to the religious practice we’ve been cultivating for ourselves and no one is engaging on the subject matter.

This comes back down to engagement in the community. We’ve all talked about that to death but the point is that sometimes, people are uncomfortable with the ideas that TTR or I have put out there because they feel that they are not read up enough on the subject or because they don’t want to delve that deep into things. And that’s fine, but both TTR and I do.

So the list:

- picking apart ritual structures to create modern rituals of a variety of difficulties and recon flavor. i can assert that i'm frustrated that i have no feedback on my rites, and so i don't even know if they're good --in terms of heka, cadence, etc.

- picking apart source materials. getting to the bottom of vague references if possible. using these to draw conclusions about the gods and our myth

- discussing epithets, what they mean, what ntrw have them in common and what that might infer about our gods, using these to better flesh out heka and ritual rubrics

- ethics discussions. need i mention that i've written two of the four posts that give us a structure with which to discuss ma'at and as of now, i have a total of six comments on both. a complete waste of my time.

- digging deeper into meanings of symbols, and how we can expand their use in modern era, how to incorporate new symbols into our codexes, what they'd look like, etc.

- heka and all of its nuances.

- akhu relationships beyond whether or not one can engage in akhu/ancestor veneration with those non-blood related -- and for those who have cultivated a relationship with their blood relations what it looks like/why things were added in/where issues lie/what sort of engagement with the ancestors is happening/etc.

- local cultus and its association with the ancient Egyptian gods and the ethics of fomenting such relationships as descendants of colonizers. I’ve written a handful of entries on the concept and the next series of entries are items that I don’t feel I can explain properly as it goes into the colonizing aspect and honestly, what’s the point? no one really engaged on the topic other than to reblog the posts and go “hey that’s a cool idea”

- integration of non-AE recon/recon-slanted practices into the common day-to-day and high-level ritual structures of ones practices

- the utilization of ma’at on a day-to-day scale (something beyond the SCT) and in one’s life

- beyond acknowledgement of the fallow times; what the fuck happens when you want out or can’t handle it anymore but you still want to be involved in some fucking way? i started the fucking fallow times shit and all i see are people mentioning that it happens and that it gets better. but there’s more to the conversation than simply it gets better 

I’m sure there are more but that’s what TTR came up with coupled with the things I had been thinking of on my own.

[sathone]

PSA

Hey guys...the Netflix original, Living With Yourself (starring Paul Rudd) needs a trigger warning for suicidal ideation. It's in the last episode, but there is a long scene where a character is doing dry runs. This would have seriously messed me up a few years ago, and I don't want anyone struggling with these thoughts to witness that.