Aug 19, 2023
Some dudes
seen from China
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Some dudes
#11 Possum-Back Rides
DM: Since their ritual cannot be completed, the cultists give up and surrender. What do you do with them?
Thaddeus (khajiit paladin): We shepherd them down the side of the mountain.
DM: All the way to the ground?
Una (genasi artificer): Gotta get there somehow. It’ll give them time to think about their mistakes.
Hanako (kitsune bard): So, I was bluffing before, we had no idea what your plan was. What was the ritual for?
Dinral: *sags* We were going to shift the whole of Shibanah into the Shadowfell.
Hanako: ...Wouldn’t that kill everyone here?
Dinral: We serve the Raven Queen, remember?
Una: ...Yeah, as nutcases.
Old dwarf: May I enquire as to whom you are searching for?
Thaddeus (khajiit paladin): Reuben.
Hanako (kitsune bard): What?
Thaddeus: That’s his name, right?
Una (genasi artificer): *head in hands* It’s Dinral.
DM: You see a huge bonfire with archaic symbols inscribed on the floor of the mountaintop. Four or five figures in the black robes of the Raven Queen are standing around it, including Dinral.
Una (genasi artificer): Stop, in the name of the King!
Dinral: You!
Hanako: You!
Cultist 1: You!
Thaddeus: You!
Cultist 2: You!
(and so on)
Thaddeus (khajiit paladin): We’re investigating a murder.
Hanako (kitsune bard): Oh, we’re laying our cards out? Okay.
Thaddeus: We’re looking for Dinral in connection. We just want to ask him a few questions.
Old dwarf: There is no member of House Woodcutter by that name.
Una (genasi artificer): But there was once.
Thaddeus: We’re just wondering if he ever popped back?
Old dwarf: ‘Was’ is the critical word. Once one is exiled, there is no coming back.
Hanako: Okay, but did he leave a forwarding address or anything? ...We’re the police.
Hanako (kitsune bard): It’s over. We know your game.
Dinral: How could you possibly know?
Hanako: Your comrades told us everything. I namedrop with a Bluff in the high 20s.
Dinral: At least you can’t have put out the other fire yet.
Thaddeus (khajiit paladin): It’s being dealt with. I smack him.
DM: His defences are garbage. He goes flying.
Thaddeus: I hit him again.
DM: Hell no, roll initiative!
Me: "I should go to sleep." Also me: "But what if, instead, I redesigned Dinral as a cat again?"