#dirkjake?

[weirdrobotfrom1960]

[bittervalentine]

post game dirk feels like he has to get jake a Really Good birthday present to make up for everything so he enlists jade to help him get grandpa harley's skull. everyone who hears about this plan tells them a) they are insane people and b) theyre going to freak jake out by giving him his alternate selfs skull and theyre all wrong jake loves it. this is the best possible gift he could get in his eyes. he carries it around with him for the next week and talks to it like its a real person. everyone hates this but theyre glad hes having fun

[soriastrider]

a doodle of one variety of jake strider, from last month

[passmethejam]

all the striders??? wearign dresses?? (plus obligatory dirkjake)

[homestuckstuff]

Swimming hcs

Karkat: horrible at chicken, he’s too short to actually hit people and he’s terrified about falling. Managed to learn how to swim in six minutes and nobody knows how. Can be deadly silent when Marco Polo comes from all the droid scares he had, once just stood in the corner of the pool and Dave couldn’t find him for an hour.

Dave: good at chicken, will throw hands with anyone who try’s to win. He and John constantly find ways to cheat at Marco Polo. Got John to find karkat for him after an hour of searching. Probably threw his ice cream at someone by accident, gfdi Dave this is why we can’t have nice things. Karkat gives him his out of pity

John: cheats at Marco Polo but still cannot manage to find Karkat. He turns into wind so he can dash around the pool and tag people. Did chicken once and fell and hit his head on the concrete, refuses to play it again. Got dared to eat Dave’s floor ice cream for two dollars and did it, terezi calls him a floor licker. “Stfu terezi you were the one who dared me” tries to pull peoples feet and gets kicked in the face.

Jade: doggy paddles everywhere but still manages to be faster then everyone but Jake. Didn’t know you were supposed to wear bathing suits and just jumps In. She and Dave kill at chicken but her and Jake are unstoppable together, they’ve never lost a single match. Jade is s t r o n k, looks like she could kill a man by looking at him but she won’t.

Rose: doesn’t swim but wears a matching outfit with Kanaya and roxy that spelt fuck off please when put together. She wore the fuck part. Was goaded Into playing chicken and did it with John against terezi and Dave. She killed them on sight but when Jake and jade came against them John promptly got knocked onto the fucking concrete and everyone thought he was dead. Bought a squiddles themed sun hat and drew over it.

Aradia: doesn’t go in the water. She knows how to swim but she just doesn’t feel like it. Will grab pebbles and toss them at whoever’s Marco just to watch them freak out.

Tavros: doesn’t swim because of his mecha legs but his sits by the pool anyways. He and Gamzee did chicken and when tav fell in Equius nearly came for his head. Gets a water type fidusmon and floats across the pool until Vriska shoves him in. Equius Comes for Vriskas head.

Sollux: pulled a gamer move and didn’t touch the water, used his Psionics to make a whirlpool and then dragged eridan into it. Throws pebbles at John and eridan cause it’s funny

Nepeta: the water turns brown when she touches it cause she hasn’t taken a bath in years. Hangs out with Equius at the end of the pool and kills anyone who fucks with him on sight. Makes shipping charts out of the pebbles sollux and Aradia throw. Equius and her have a tea party together and invite Aradia and Karkat to it, they try to play eachothers wingman and fail miserably. At least their tea is good :,33

Kayana: didn’t swim either, wore the off part of the swim suits. Stole roses squidle hat and wore it all day. Bought rose some flowers. She and rose ate some donuts together and had a lovely time

Terezi: she went behind John and slapped his ass so hard that he turned into wind. Didn’t give John his two dollars when he ate the floor ice cream and he pushed her in the pool. She sat in the pool with Vriska and they got to play chicken with terezi’s cane. They slap jade in the face to win and they make her cry. Jake almost beats the shit out of them. Vriska says that whoever’s angry at them can fight them but literally everyone starts gearing up to beat her and terezi up. Vriska almost shits her pants and terezi apologizes for them. Jade gets to slap them both to make it equal but she doesn’t cause she’s nice.

Vriska: is glad that jade didn’t kick the shit out of them. Stole roses martini but turns out she can’t handle her alcohol for shit. Almost passed out in the water but John got her out of there. Wears a nic cage themed bathing suit and John is so jealous

Equius: sits with nepeta and plans to beat up anyone who hits on her. He keeps breaking teacups, nepeta keeps pulling out more. He refuses to talk about the party incident with Aradia.

Gamzee: his face paint doesn’t even wash off. He and Tavros are decent at chicken, he’s nervous about Tavros falling in. Freezes sopor into popsicles and c r o n c h e s on them all day long.

Eridan: turns out eridan can’t swim well. It doesn’t really come up until sollux drags him into that whirlpool and he gets stuck at the bottom of the pool. He can breathe, he’s just kinda.....stuck down there. Feferi has to drag him out. He tries to play it off like he was joking about being stuck at the bottom but no one believes him. Sollux begrudgingly apologizes and eridan almost cries.

Feferi: is the one who made sollux apologize. She races jade and everyone is terrified because they both look like they’re going to throw hands. Jade wins by a damn inch. They high-five and congratulate eachother.

Jane: has a cute ass one piece. Dave makes a joke about johns hot mom. She’s not real good at swimming. She and roxy are a decent chicken team. She tried to help eridan out of the bottom of the pool but he yelled at her. She refers to him as the fish bitch. Made the snacks for everyone.

Roxy: wore the please part of the outfit. She and John are real good at chicken. She, John, and terezi decided to ditch for a minute to go flying. She and John picked up terezi and flew around happily. Everyone else joined, none god tiers got carried around. They eventually land and turns out terezi isn’t too good with heights. She vomits and they have to give her some water. The rest of the day she watched movies and played chicken with her friends.

Jake: is wayyyyy too nervous around all these people. He loves hanging out with his friends but he really doesn’t know half the people here. He and jade swim around to try and defuse some stress. John tried to grab his foot but he panicked and screamed for him to go away. He and dirk moved inside so he could calm down. He comes out two minutes later and apologizes to John. John is Lowkey scared of him because of how tall he is. He spends the rest of the time trying to convince Roxy that he and dirk didn’t do anything weird.

Dirk: is nervous around the pool. He thinks it’s way too cold and doesn’t want to go in. Roxy pushed him in and he refuses to get out because spite. He and Jake are pretty good at chicken but dirk can’t really hold Jake up on his shoulders. He and Jake had a bonding moment and talked about why Jake was so nervous and why he freaked out. More tears were shed then they both would like to admit. Got revenge on roxy. He started a food fight and got a frozen sopor popsicle to the eye. He’s lucky his stupid glasses didn’t break

[h0m357uck5h17p057]

Roxy: Nononononononono!

Dirk: Hey Roxy.

Roxy: *punches Dirk*

Dirk: Augh! wHAT THE FUCK?!

Roxy: You are one of my very best friends and I cannot stand by and watch you throw your life away! You're too young! You're too beautiful!

Dirk: What the fuck are you talking about..?

Roxy: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside your belly right now.

Jake: ..See ya!

Dirk, at Jake: I'm not pregnant!

Roxy: Well no, not after that punch you're not. I have been taking Muay Thai classes.

Dirk: I was never pregnant Roxy..!

Roxy: Ah.. uh.. Are you sure?

Dirk: Yes I'm fucking sure!

Jane: I'm sorry but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?

Roxy: Oh I found this positive pregnancy test and-

Jane: *punches Dirk*

Dirk: Augh! mOTHERFUCKER!

[ask-le-jake-lalonde]

jake punch dirk

Jake: What good would punching him do anyway?