asking you and Sol for the same prompt because I love the way you both write hurt/comfort with Sova and I wanna see both of you interpret this concept.
I have a headcanon that Sage can use her powers, but the more injured someone is the more painful it is so heal them and bringing them back after they’re gone is pure agony
So what about more Sova hating the reader but this time when he finds her dossier the enemy have already killed her (not bc she’s weak but because she submitted to them and maybe told them to kill her so she wouldn’t have to do it herself because she loves Sova and he hates her?????) and he has to rush her back to Sage and she comes back to life but it’s literally insufferable agonizing pain for her and it leads to a lot of nightmares and flashbacks so she doesn’t get a break even in her sleep and Sova finally has to suck it up and ends up falling for her
(If you’re comfortable and want to torture me more, a reader background of lots of physical abuse and or physical crimes against her would be very yummy bc experience)
Thanks for the request anon! I decided to do this instead of what I initially planned after reading Sol's version of this, it's absolutely beautiful. Sorry this took so long, I had a hard time trying to find the character of (Y/N) and how to end the story (as well as life holding me back).
Trigger Warning: Abuse of all kinds, screaming, confrontation, cutting, self harm and blood. (it's always incomplete without blood :))
Caged Birds and Dirty Mirrors
"You are said to be the best of Kingdom's experiments, yet you've failed to catch those information brokers again." The head scientist hissed as you knelt on the ground, blood dripping from the purposeful cuts in your hands while your hair clumped from the dried blood on it.
"Not only have you wasted time and energy, you wasted resources, specifically blood. We could've used that for other experiments instead of you. I thought I taught you better." He ranted, pacing in front of you as you kept your sights to the ground, not daring to face him.
"I'm sorry, it will not happen again." You say before getting a kick on the face, making you stumble back onto the floor.
"Who said you can speak you fiend?! I don't take apologies for such menial mistakes. I'll make sure you'll never make the same mistake of talking over your superiors, in fact I'll make sure you'll never fail anyone ever again."
===
Sova hates that you are like him. Stoic, serious, always on guard. It irked him that you acted this way, like a copycat to be taken more seriously. It was disturbing, looking into a dirty mirror and seeing your flaws. It took him a while to wipe the dirty mirror to see the beauty in himself. It took him a while to realize that he was a bird thinking it's still trapped when the cage is open.
He was like that before.
It's a sad, pathetic and miserable life.
He hates reliving that.
===
"Why can't you just act normal for once?" Sova grumbled, getting a puzzled look from behind.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Stop being such a stuck-up and actually work with the team. I don't like it when you just follow our instructions and not even put an ounce of effort into all of this. You don't take the initiative, you just stand there, waiting or orders and it's so annoying!"
"I only ever want to please everyone. I'm not sure whether or not my actions would help--."
"We don't need hesitance, (Y/N). We need action, we need an immediate instinct that would help everyone. We don't need to think about what you should do to help everyone at the moment. You should've thought of that before we went on a mission! God, what is wrong with you? Am I talking to a robot or something!? Even Kay/O does a better job that you." He inched closer to you, intimidating you as you stood against the wall, eyes to the ground in silence.
"I'm sorry--."
"I don't take apologies. Do your fucking job or I'm booting you. You're lucky nobody's ever care about your presence, because we wouldn't have this conversation of you worked with the team. Nobody gives a shit about you and your feelings, (Y/N). Just do what you're told, take the initiative and move with the damn team." He scolds before walking away, leaving you standing against the wall.
'You've failed again, idiot. Looks like we'll have to punish you for this..' Your arms itched, urging you to release it with as much force as you could deliver.
'No, I won't fail you again.. Not again..'
===
"They've left off to lurk again, unbelievable." Reyna shakes her head as Sova just sighed in disappointment.
"I'll make this their last mission, I don't like it that they don't work with the team."
"To be fair, Sova they're still adjusting--."
"Tch, adjusting? Neon and I only took 3 days to get well adjusted, what's their excuse?" Chamber chuckled, his Tour De Force returning back to his golden tattoos while Sage frowned, defeated by everyone's claims.
"Just taking a glance from them, I can feel a sense of great hatred, terror and hesitation. It doesn't seem to go anywhere besides inward." She mutters only for Reyna to laugh.
"You're so thoughtful Sage, it's funny how you're sensitive to these things. It's why you're a healer, not much a fighter." Sage huffed, distancing her gaze from Reyna who just cackled in ridicule.
"At least their lurk actually did something for once and landed the spike here." Chamber says, kicking Yoru's corpse before gunfire was heard in the distance.
"There goes (Y/N). Do you think they survived?"
"Highly doubt that." Sova shakes his head before looking towards C Link.
"Reyna, let's go clean up whatever mess they made."
===
You scatter through the shelves for bandages as spots of blood dropped on the counter of the clinic. It was careless of you to cut yourself and forget to bring your own roll of bandages just to save yourself from wasting anyone's time and resources.
Unfortunately for you, it was in your other backpack that was left in the ship. You promised yourself you'd get it back, but the ship had already taken off for a mission.
"Morrigan, what are you doing?" You turned around to see Sage, a worried look on her face as she traced down the trail of blood leading from the hallways to her clinic of all places.
"I'm looking for some bandages, I cut myself pretty bad while training--."
"I was in the training room, so I would've seen it and helped you by then." She caught your lie, great. She holds her hand for your hand as you hesitantly reached out, surrendering your bloodied, cut hands.
"Why would you do this?" What a question indeed, Sage...
"I don't want to have to hurt myself in the battlefield just to activate my abilities. It mostly works with my blood alone, I have yet to extend it to other means." She gave you a worried look, possibly doubting your reasoning when she sighs.
"Next time, please just ask me. I can draw the blood for you, hurting yourself like this would make things more painful and dangerous for you. If you cut deep enough, you might've lost your life. We don't want that now, do we?" Of course not, but you felt like you deserved this, for the many mistakes you've made in battle and the disappointed glances of everybody.
You hated the confrontation those expression gave in, thus being by yourself and lurking in the shadows is best suited for your tiny being. In a world with big enemies, how did David defeat his Goliath?
===
As they passed by the rendezvous point, Sova spots something peculiar in the corner of his eye. The gunshots seem to have died down, so possibly they would've rotated to try and retrieve the spike.
"Let's get back to A site, We don't want Chamber handling 4 other agents alone. I'll just have to drone in to get a surveillance of C Site." She rolled her eyes, annoyed at the sudden change of plans and ruining her moody bloodlust.
"If you insist." She says, walking away before Sova approaches the item on the ground. It was a tablet with the Blackmailer's insignia on the back. He taps the screen before your profile shows up. He huffs in disinterest, already assuming an average background.
Military experience, getting bored of the typical battlefield, the works.
He wasn't expecting footage
===
The Morrigan, "The Great Queen". The Goddess of witchcraft, war and death. Many of the Protocol must've envy you for such a name, but that's not the case now is it?
Why exactly do you strive to please them when they'll forever gaze upon you with hate?
You always lived that way, haven't you? Living to please the wishes of those with greater authority than you? Kingdom didn't create The Morrigan, they created a mind slave that does what is being told.
You performed beautifully, with such precision and grace yet you are rewarded with hateful gazes, or better yet from Kingdom, the torturous hours of training.
You are no Morrigan, (Y/N). No queen bows before the gazes of hate. You are just a slave, and you will never be free.
===
"It seems we've ran out of blood in the bank. Pity, Morrigan still have a few missions before a short break." You shivered at the sound of the head scientist muttering to himself before he looks to you. You laid on the cold operating table, strapped and stuck on the metal as the overhead lamp shined on your eyes, blinding your vision.
"You wouldn't mind sharing a bit of your blood, no?" He asks before holding up his scalpel on your skin before slicing through it. Back then, when you were younger, you would , struggle, kick, scream and cry from the painful stinging of the cuts you received.
Now you were just numb to it all, letting it all happen in a whim while you allowed your blood to spill into a small catch bowl at the bottom of the operating table.
"I like you better now. You barely peep a sound, I could literally do anything to you right now." He chuckles, letting the scalpel drive itself down towards the wrist before finishing the cut there.
"Back then you were notorious for screaming so loud that you could be heard from the floors up. I wonder, would you scream like that if I took you here, right now?" He grins, a perverted grin growing on his face as he climbs on top of the operating table, hovering over your bleeding body while you just stared, hopelessly, lifelessly, like a doll.
"Let's try that out, shall we?"
===
He rushed towards C site, his heart beating out of his chest as he tried to find you, hopefully still alive.
"(Y/N)!!" He screamed, running into site and seeing the walls of the open area painted and coated in layer of blood. He sees the corpses of the mirror agents laying on the ground, holes in their bodies and some having no heads at all.
In the dead center of site however, a large pool of blood fountaining from your body, littered with bullet holes as you laid there, bleeding.
He rushes towards your side, the blood seeping into his cape and pants before cradling you in his arms. Your skin was cold to the touch yet warm from the blood spilling out of you while your hair clumped from the blood and dirt caught in it. Your eyes blinked slowly, squinting at the sudden movement of your weak body.
"SAGE GET OVER HERE QUICKLY!!" Sova yells through the intercom as holds you closer while you constantly coughed out blood. He sees an open wound on your stomach before holding it with his cape.
"It's not gonna stop bleeding, captain... I'm gonna die--."
"No you're not. Sage is already on her way." You chuckled coldly, shaking your head as you blinked slowly, your vision blurring as your life slowly slips away.
"She can't do anything about it, I don't have enough blood." You say as Sova holds your wound tighter, only for more blood to seep onto his hands.
"You know I use my own blood in fights, right? It doesn't help that I have hemophilia. A perfect recipe for death." You laughed bitterly as Sova just keeps shaking his head in denial. He cannot lose you like this, not when he has yet to apologize.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have said those things about you. I should've known, (Y/N). I should've known." You stared at him in confusion, before realizing that he just knew about your past. You figured out he found your dossier, but nevertheless is was sort of embarrassing to you. His shaky hands tries to hold onto your life before you held his hand away from it.
"It's fine, Sasha. Don't hold this over as a burden, I only follow orders because it's the only thing I know what to do. A domesticated dog, it's pathetic." You giggled bitterly as his tears dripped from his eyes before giving a determined look.
"Then live for me, please." You stared at him in shock before smiling at him and shaking your head.
"I'm sorry, I've failed you already..." You say as your voice faded into a whisper before a tear slipped from you eyes while you sighed. You stare at the sky lifelessly while he shakes your body that has suddenly gone limp.
"(Y/N)? (Y/N)?!?!?"
===
You woke up in an empty field, the tall grass towering over you as you laid on the soft lush greenery. You stood up, overlooking the grass before getting tackled to the ground, a fit of giggles from behind you as you turned.
"You're finally here! God, it took you so long I figured we would've seen each other in another lifetime or something." You bestfriend giggled as you just laughed and punched them on the shoulder.
"Come on now, you know I can't die easily."
"Contrary to your infinite bleeding condition, but yes. You're too stubborn to die, but here you are! How'd you die?" They asked excitedly as you just chuckle.
"I don't really remember."
"Ah, well you'll remember in a day or two. Let's go meet the others."
"Everyone else is here?" You asked as they stood up, dusted their hands before taking you up.
"Or course! Everyone who's died gets the afterlife they desired after all. That being living out our cottage-core dreams and residing in a beautiful field." They smiled before walking ahead of you.
"So, you coming?"
"I wouldn't dare want to miss it." You smiled before a cheeky grin grows on their face.
"Race ya." They smiled before running ahead of you while you tries to outrun them. As you got closer and closer to your bestfriend, you suddenly fell inside a dark hole.
===
You opened your eyes, greeting the medical room as pain erupted all over your body. The same old pain you've felt so much so that you've forgotten how to scream when you were in pain. It was to not ever entice the scientists that wanted to hear your screams, despite not being there anymore.
"How are you feeling, (Y/N)?" Sage asked as you just stared at her blankly and shrug.
"Like shit. It hurts all over." Sage stared in confusion before humming.
"This is the first time I've resurrected you, but you're in pain--."
"You're not the only one who's tried to bring me back to life." You say bitterly as you sigh and try to sit up, only to fall back down on the bed and groan.
"You'll have to be under bed rest for quite a while if you're in pain. My healing may close wounds, but it takes time for it to soothe pain." Sage says as you just sigh and look over at the drawers in the corner of the room.
"Pain killers?"
"We ran out, the shipment's been delayed sadly. They'll be here in maybe three days." You sigh, leaning onto the medical bed before looking to her.
"How's Sova?" She looks at you confused before giving a sad expression.
"He's been visiting you lately, usually in the evening. Most of the team actually." She says while you sighed. You hated it when people pitied you, it was disgusting and it made you want to puke every single time. You hear heavy footsteps nearing the room as you look towards the window before hearing the door open. You knew who it would be.
"Are they awake?"
"Yes, they've been expecting you. Shall I leave you alone?" You heard Sage's footsteps leave the room before hearing the chair drag closer to your bed. You tugged on the covers and wrap it around your body, looking away from Sova as he just sighs.
"I'm sorry, for everything, (Y/N). I--."
"Why did you let me live?" His eyes dart to you, in shock as you just shifted on the bed, still looking away from him.
"It--."
"You can apologize all you want when I'm in my coffin or whatever. I don't want to keep living under orders, I just want to be free and live." You say in a hush voice, hoarse and trembling as you teared up. You hate crying, it tired you, it made you weak yet here you were, crumbling under his gaze.
"Everyone wants that, and some of them get that but I don't see myself being in that state, ever. I only see myself as the same domesticated killer that fights for others, I don't want anyone to see that." You sighed, hugging yourself tighter and tighter, trying to calm yourself from sobbing.
"I just want to be normal, Sova. But I can't, I just can't. I'm sorry I couldn't follow your commands, I'm sorry I couldn't do anything, I'm sorry for everything I've done and haven't done." You sobbed, a mix of confusing emotions stirring in your chest before you felt Sova go on the bed and hug you tightly.
You cried, completely withering in his warm embrace as he just sat there taking all your emotions. This was the first time you've ever shown any real emotion, but this wasn't the emotion he wanted to see from you.
He only ever wanted you to be happy, comfortable just like he was when he was free from the orders of the army. He should've known.
He should've known that you were the bird that is still tied to an open cage.
===
Pain is as temporary as the joy you experience in a day.
Recovering was quick when it comes to you, however you have yet to adapt to the warm embrace of everyone in the Protocol.
If it took you 3 days to recover from the pain of dying then it took 5 months to get used to your free life.
At first, you had to explain to the Protocol about your past, mostly to Viper, Brimstone, Sage and Cypher then dismantle the parts of your past that affected you badly. This alone took 3 months of your time while fighting by their side.
Next they started giving you duo missions (usually with Sova, Fade, Cypher or Sage) so you can get used to making your own decisions while being guided by them.
Now they left you off in a better spot, allowing you to do what you want and discover yourself, however there are some things you still need assistance with.
Decision Making
"What should I do? Should I go out with Raze for karaoke or have tea with Cypher? Should I help Viper with her experiments or visit Chamber's boutique? PLEASE HELP ME SOVA I CAN'T CHOOSE!!!" You panicked at your suddenly filled up schedule as almost everyone wanted to get to know you after the whole debacle (and because Sova asked everyone to help you adjust).
"I can't tell you what to do, (Y/N). This is your choice, not mine." You whined, biting your nails as you paced your room.
"Well, I can't really sing so maybe not karaoke and I'm have really shaky hands so I might accidentally spill something in the lab. Aw, but I have to tell Raze and Viper that I won't come and they might feel upset--."
"They won't be upset, (Y/N). They will respect your decisions and choices."
"Are you certain?" You asked as he nods before you sigh, your hands still trembling before Sova takes them in his hands.
"Calm down, you're doing perfectly well. Breath..." He whispers calmly as you take a deep breath before he kisses your knuckles. You gushed at the sudden act as he gives you a grin.
"Don't catch me off guard like that." You gushed while he just chuckles and hugs you.
"Expect it next time." You huffed before he pats your head.
"You are doing so well, (Y/N). I'm so proud of you." He whispers as you just smiled and hugged him back.
"I wouldn't be here without you, Sova. So, I thank you." You smiled looking up at him with a blush on your face. You parted from the hug as your fiddled with your hands, your eyes taking interest on the floor instead of his gorgeously mismatched eyes.
"I always looked up to you, because in a certain way you're like me. Taking orders from authority and acting on it, yet you were so laid back, so well loved and I wanted to be like that... But I knew that I couldn't be well loved by anyone." You gushed as he stares at you with surprise.
"I know it's really cringy, seeing the me and you and all--"
"That's not true." He interrupts before cupping your face.
"I saw my younger self in you too. That's why I couldn't take seeing you being so stoic, so lifeless and so trapped." Your eyes widened as he sighed.
"I couldn't bare it when I was younger, I was pathetic and I was so miserable and I didn't want you to go through the same way. I couldn't watch you stay trapped in an open cage." He says before brushing your hair away from your face.
"I love you, (Y/N). I don't want you to go through the same horrors that I've gone through, yet here we are. If only I had a different approach things would've been easier on you." He confesses, his eyes looking away from you before he feels your hands on his face.
"I love you too Sova. And, it's okay if things were difficult before. At least it's easier now, right?" You asked as he just smiled, tears of relief from his eyes before kissing you on the forehead and hugging you tightly. You giggled at his reaction, before falling into his warm embrace.
