So,
i think there's a phenomenon that exists. i think when you're a young person, probably teenagerish, sticking your nose into feminism for the first time, there's something that Happens. a misunderstanding comes across.
"Men and masculinity are backed by an oppressive force known as patriarchy" distorts into something like "men and masculinity are Bad (unspecified)" distorts further into something like "don't be a man no matter what (because it'll make you Bad)".
i think labeling this misunderstanding as a Product Of Feminism is the first mistake a lot of people make when trying to talk about it. The actual feminism is not saying that at all! The problems here are Oversimplification, in general, and then when this sentiment is leveled specifically at questioning transmascs, That problem is Social transphobia. Transphobia can absolutely wear a cloak of feminism to get at trans people and keep them in the closet.
and honestly, a lot of instances of this misunderstanding persist across a Lot of issues. it's not just about men or masculinity, it happens with just about every form of privilege you could imagine. i'm focusing in on this one because it's a bit personal to me: i had this exact problem as a kid! i lost years upon years of trans joy and self realization to the trick that my brain played on me using this misunderstanding, by conduit of my teenage naivety and my untreated mental illness.
all that to say that i think we should talk about this, but Carefully. i think knee-jerk blaming feminism because that's the mask this transphobia is currently wearing is the wrong idea and a bad move. it's not "misandry", and the solution isn't any form of "men's rights". i think the best approach is careful and thoughtful education of young people on the issue of oppression and the nature of gender as a construct. to resist the urge to write off "privileged class" as blankly meaning "bad person". there's a lot of conceptual compression that happens when complex issues are discussed in short form on the internet; this specific issue is just another instance of that, for the most part. be mindful, and know that the problem is Not individual women talking about their negative experiences with men and masculinity or patriarchy as a whole, but rather the underlying current of transphobia in our society that wants everyone to stay in their birth-assigned boxes forever.
