Getting Shipshape with Starfleet Ship Shapes: Part 3
By Ames
A Star to Steer Her By is continuing to test-fly all the starships we see in Star Trek, as we did in Part 1 and Part 2 of this blog miniseries. We’re getting to some big redesigns this week as we see more new interpretations of the USS Enterprise, some of them successful and some of them, well, you’ll see.
Scroll on to see all the screengrabs and schematics of Starfleet ships from the Kelvin movies and from Discovery, and listen to this week’s podcast coverage (discussion starts at 50:43), as we have quite a lot to say about J.J. Abrams that you’ve probably all heard before but with our patented snark, anguish, and occasional crackups. Let’s fly.
After we finish trying to figure out which piece of the Kelvin is a nacelle and which isn’t, we find it’s not a bad design. Having what we’re assuming is your engineering section above your saucer strikes us as leaving it terribly vulnerable, but that’s not taking 3D space into account, as no one ever does. We can see in its circular saucer and cylindrical nacelle shape that it still fits in the prime universe pretty well since it would have been christened before the timeline split. Which is probably good for it because, as you’ll see, we’re not big fans of the more Abramsy designs in these movies.
USS Enterprise (Kelvinverse)
When the reboot movies penciled out their version of the Enterprise, they entirely redesigned what a Star Trek ship is. Jake, for one, specifically hates this ship. It’s like they decided to change things AT RANDOM. Look at the shape of those nacelles: they’re like bulbous alien eye stalks. The engineering hull now has titillating double D-cup cleavage bouncing under the saucer. Like its bridge chair we discussed earlier, the ship looks like a plastic toy designed by Apple. Maybe it’s also meant to be earbuds or something.
Furthermore! How big is it even? Ex Astris Scientia has a bunch of info and charts and diagrams with straws to display these points. Long story short, the official size of the ship is over double the original Enterprise because they had the designers hit the old magnify button on it when it seemed too small. What a train wreck. Nerds everywhere are still in heated debate over the size of this thing when there’s really only one conclusion: someone done effed up.
Jellyfish
A future design we get out of the 2009 movie is this adorable Jellyfish. It’s a cute little ship that looks like its namesake. Maybe too much like its namesake? We doubt there are jellyfish on Vulcan, after all. Now the biggest question is: would a Vulcan have really designed this thing? It strikes us as more organic-looking than other ships we see, especially from our pointy-eared allies. Like the porgs of Star Wars, these things just seem like they were designed to be toys.
USS Enterprise-A (Kelvinverse)
We don’t see much of this slight update of the Enterprise, but there are a couple small differences. The caps on the ends of the nacelles are way better at not looking like eyeballs. However, the nacelle pylons are just strange. It’s just way too swoopy and curved and overdesigned. And like its predecessor, it looks like it’s made of plastic. The newest movie Enterprise might just be too extra for us.
USS Vengeance (Dreadnought class)
What a boxy behemoth. Most of the Kelvin designs are very rounded, so it’s at least different to see some more angles and lines on this one than the others. Mostly, it looks like a LEGO ship, made all with dark-colored blocks to boringly depict how evil it is. Chris calls this one “an amazing failure of aesthetics,” and frankly, we’re pretty unimpressed by its saucer cutouts, pointy shape, and blocky feel.
USS Franklin (Freedom class)
This one’s way better, especially if you can get past Caitlin’s comment that it looks like it’s at its gynecological appointment. The Franklin also falls somewhere in the original timeline, and like the Kelvin, that seems to have helped it adopt some of the established shapes that no one needed to go overboard redesigning. It’s a nice touch that it definitely looks like it could be close in time to the NX-01 family. You also get the best look in these shots that Kelvinverse ships have windows instead of viewscreens, which is sorta strange.
USS Shenzhou (Walker class)
Make way as we leave the cinema, curl up on the couch, and fire up Paramount+ for some Discovery ship ogling, starting with the first one… the Shenzhou. We cannot be more proud of the idea that the bridge is underslung instead of right on top of the saucer. We do not see that enough since it feels like such a less vulnerable position. The froggy shape is kinda halfway between the NX and the Miranda classes, so points for that. And we also mostly like the nice paint job, like racing stripes on an Indy car!
USS Discovery (Crossfield class)
Go to Black Alert with us on the eponymous Discovery! This interestingly tan ship is also fairly flat except for its saucer section which lifts upwards like a whale coming up for a breath. The triangular design of the secondary hull also has us intrigued because it aids in keeping that long flat shape. Its signature move is that rotation of the saucer section, which provides for more dynamism in a ship than we’ve certainly seen before. Though we do wonder a little why exactly does it need to do that? Does it become like a gravitron in there? Whee!
USS Discovery-A (Crossfield refit)
Seasons three and four introduce all the weirdest future ships that are too weird even for this blogpost. What we will take a closer look at is how they upgrade the Discovery with future tech, specifically the floaty bits. They LOVE floaty bits in the future and it strikes us as just showing off how science fiction you are. Is there a reason other than making it clear that it’s the fuuuuture? Not really...
Pike’s USS Enterprise (Constitution class)
Kelvinverse ships take note: This is how you reimagine and update a classic ship design. There was a lot of love put into the updated Enterprise for Discovery and Strange New Worlds, and it shows. Everything’s a little sturdier, but it’s still clearly the Enterprise. The modifications take elements of the refit from TMP like the swooped-back nacelle pylons and a less precarious neck, and added some minor details like the fins on the nacelles and the sleek little cutout in the pylons that are nifty but don’t detract from the original design. What we’re left with is a nostalgia-inducing design that’s been polished to a bright and shining glow! Hit it!
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We’ve got one more installment of Federation starships to look at next week, so keep watching this space for the thrilling conclusion of the rest of the Nu Trek designs. You can also keep up with our voyage through Voyager on SoundCloud, hail us on Facebook and Twitter, and don’t fix what ain’t broken, JJ!
