Flirting with Waterboy Headcanons...(Dispatch! Herman x Reader)
Author's Note: I am super late to this party but I finished playing Dispatch this week and it will surprise absolutely no one that I am completely obsessed with the wet and wonderful Waterboy. I'll be posting my usual content too, but please understand I have a lot of big, sexy feelings about this character that you will all have to deal with for a little while, including a likely part two to this little ditty. On that note, please please send me your own thoughts/headcanons too!
Part 2 smut here (x)
- Being a reformed villain in the phoenix programme has its perks; you get to stay out of prison, help people, and have a positive impact on the world. You also get to spend time with a new addition to the team who seems to crumble to pieces every time you're kind to him; Waterboy.
- As one of the less abrasive heroes in the Z-team, Robert makes sure you're the first person he introduces Waterboy to as he joins the team, leaving you very pleasantly surprised by this wholesome new plaything for you.
"This is your new team-mate Waterboy, make sure he knows where he needs to be on shift okay?" Robert nods at you with a tight smile before heading back to his desk, leaving the nervous man dripping in front of you, struggling to get a word out until you speak.
"So how did you end up on the Z-team? Did you get caught by a hero, or are you out on parole?"
"No! No- nothing like that - I - um.. I just - I want to be - to be a hero. A re- real hero." There's no ego to his stammered confession, no ulterior motive, just pure sincerity. After spending a lot of time hanging with the wrong crowds, you can't help but smile at how different he seems, taking a chance and telling him your real name, not the heroic one listed on the wall behind you.
"Can I call you something other than Waterboy?" You can't help but let the question out with a slightly loaded tone, and you're sure if he wasn't so nervous he'd have picked up on how closely it bordered on flirting.
"Her- Herman. Or Herm. Um, my grandma ca-calls me Hermy, um, sometimes. So - uh - Herman." He says every word like he's not sure of the answer and he's upset with himself for how they come out, watching you smile as you try out each iteration.
"Herm. Herman. Hermy." You can see the twitch of a smile play on his cheeks at the last one. "I'm really glad to have you on the team, Hermy."
- And with that you had the most devoted follower of all time, this sweet, hopeless boy unsure what he could have possibly done to deserve your kindness but knowing he'd do absolutely anything to keep it coming. He finds endless reasons to linger near you, not-so-quietly celebrating when you get dispatched to trouble together, and practicing saying good morning on his whole walk to work so it can come out somewhat smoothly when he sees you for the first time.
- It's hard to tell if his affections are just the sheer joy of having a friend, or more of an infatuation, his clear lack of social skills and experience meaning you need to be the one to flirt if you want any hope of this going further.
"Hey Hermy. Can you do me a favour?" You perched on the counter in the breakroom with him trailing in behind you, stopping just short of your knees and nodding vigorously enough to land droplets of water on your skin.
"Any-yes-anything." You could see his bright blue eyes shining behind his goggles as you reached forward slowly and took one of his hands in yours, tugging him to step a little closer, your faces at eye level from your makeshift seat.
"What- uh - you - you'll get wet." He scowled at himself as the words struggled to form, watching your fingers toy with the edge of his glove, slowly peeling the rubber away to reveal the damp skin underneath.
"I know - I was just wondering what your skin feels like under all this." You gestured to his suit and continued carefully removing his glove, moving slowly until his hand escaped with a slight pop. Holding his palm in one hand, you slowly traced shapes over the back of his hand with your fingertips. You could feel him twitching nervously at each move, overwhelmed by even the slight human contact, especially when it came from you. "I thought your water would be cold, but it's warm, soft. It feels nice, Hermy." Your tone is laced with kindness and intrigue as you let your fingers brush along the length of his, noticing how long they felt, before slowly interlocking them, bringing your palm to kiss his with a slight squelch. "Thanks!" You chirp as you give his hand a squeeze before releasing it, hopping down from the counter with your body so close he can inhale your scent as you walk away, leaving Herm standing frozen, staring at his own palm and wondering if you could really find touching him anything other than unpleasant.
- In a group setting Herman feels completely adrift when you're not by his side; his main source of confidence and joy, his favourite person to be around. So when he goes to meet the gang at some villain bar and he can't see you immediately, he finds himself shrinking into a corner and hoping no-one notices him at all. Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long until you appear in front of him, a ray of light in this dark dive bar, offering him a beer he knows he'd never work up the nerve to order himself.
"Th-thank you." He says softly as you clink your bottle against his, smiling so brightly he can't find it in himself to even pretend to look away from you.
"No problem, what are friends for? Now come play darts with me so I don't have to deal with men trying to talk to me." You're used to the feel of his wet rubber by this point, taking his hand in yours and leading him in the right direction as you hear him repeat the word 'friends' under his breath behind you. There's no disappointment to the label, instead he echoes it like it's the single greatest accomplishment of his life, his reason to get up in the morning, the most wonderful kindness you could ever extend to this poor, wet, kitten of a man. You consider making a joke about how if you knew your friendship meant so much to him, you'd stop planning to fuck him, but you don't want completely break the boy's brain in case you need him to have your back in a fight later, so you keep that line for another time.
- Flirting with Hermy is the perfect power-trip for a reformed villain; the sweetheart would do anything you asked of him, and is so completely joyful to be on the receiving end of any attention from you. He desperately chases your touch if you brush a stray wet hair off his forehead towards his ears, or if you lift his goggles so you can look into his eyes when you speak to him. He practically falls apart every time you call him Hermy, tripping over himself to seek you out, and if he's lucky, earn a smile for his troubles.
- The rest of z-team isn't really sure if you're flirting is genuine or just something you're doing to entertain yourself, but either way they can't help but join in, watching Waterboy's panicked reactions to anything suggestive you say in delight. It's especially fun to make the conversation all about him.
"(Y/N), me and Prism were just talking, do you think fucking waterboy would ruin your bed?" Malevola's drawl carries across the microphone at the start of shift, wanting to see how far she can push it before Waterboy melts into a puddle or Robert steps in and tells her to shut up.
"I've thought about it alot and I have a bunch of those, like, absorbent blankets for periods and sex anyway, so I think my bed would be unharmed, at least from water damage."
"Good point, so a bed is still an option." Coope replies in her monotone, a slight sound of Herm trying to stumble out a sentence in the background and failing spectacularly as you continue.
"Absolutely, but obviously you'd probably focus on having a lot of shower sex too, it might just take some practice 'cause Hermy's so tall. Or bath sex. Or a hot tub if you can find one."
"I-i-i-uh."
"Alright that's enough, don't make me figure out where HR is." You have to fight back a laugh as Robert cuts off an especially frantic stammer from Waterboy, whose brain stopped working the moment you admitted you'd thought about having sex with him.
- It's not enough to know how obviously smitten Hermy is with you, how obsessed he is with every tiny touch you grace his wet skin with, how your kindness has become the guiding light that makes him want to be a better man, a better hero, for you. No, despite all that, you decide you need him to make the first move if you're ever going to take the next step with your damp, devoted hero. Thankfully Malevola has an idea for that too.
"(Y/N), back me up - there's never a good reason to send a dick pic, they're never worth it, even if it's a great dick!" It's not a topic of conversation that belongs in a conference room, but Flambae brought it up and you couldn't help but monopolise on this opportunity to make Herm squirm.
"I'm with you on that, it's usually just not a good experience for anyone involved. Now a video, that I can appreciate."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Punch Up knew better than to take romantic advice from your team, but he'd been drawn in by this debate and now he couldn't resist diving in further. You made sure to glance over at a completely captivated Herm as you spoke, the man practically trembling with anticipation as you elaborated.
"A video is like the perfect romantic gesture. Not obviously from a stranger, but from someone you've been friends with for a while," your eyes lingered on Herm's "someone you want to take things further with, you send them a video of you touching yourself, telling them what you're thinking about, what you like about them, it's the perfect move." Even behind his goggles you could see Waterboy's eyes growing wide, the idea taking hold as you smiled his way, while Malevola backed up your words calling it 'the height of romance', fighting back a laugh as she watched you stare knowingly at your sweet hopeful Hermy.
- You knew it was ambitious, and honestly you thought you'd set the bar way too high. Until late that night as you settled yourself into bed, you saw the notification pop up "One video message - Hermy 🩵"
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