Me and the sibs were joking about Dispatch, and we were discussing what's the deal with Phenomaman's/Katon-Ur's species - the people of Urgot-52dc aka "Urgoths", and why he's considered "repulsive" by their standards.
We came up with three main theories:
They're insanely jacked and hyper-masculine. Full oiled-up ancient Greek/Roman vibes. Phenomaman is considered a weak af among their species.
They're like high-fantasy elves, who's ideal form leans towards grace and soft features. Phenomaman is considered too buff and hairy for their standards. Flambae is as bear as they can handle until they get start getting scared.
Swapped sexual dimorphism/gender expectations; female Urgoths are larger than the males, and males brighter & more mobile. Big buff Amazonian ladies + tiny pretty house husbands. Phenomaman is considered "ugly" because he defies his planet's societal expectations.
Mixture of all three; its a planet with multiple societies.
The third theory (or a mixture) is the most fun to work with, since this means Phen's species have very different beauty ideals. It also makes his attraction to Blonde Blazer kinda based on his own biases - she's the strongest woman he knows and therefore the most beautiful/compatible for him. But since thats not her true form, Mandy feels uncomfortable continuing the relationship with Katon-Ur based on surface traits alone.
This also means a surprising member of Z-Team is considered the most attractive male...
Accidentally made a mini chat fic out of this idea! Under Read More:
(*the Z-Team are relaxing in after a long shift*)
Prism: "Hey, Kat? If you're considered busted on your home planet - what makes someone a baddie? 'Cus I speak for the whole team when I say I'd take you home in a heartbeat!"
Phenomaman: "Thank you for your kind reassurance, Prism. I have been informed before that baddie in this context means someone of great attractiveness. The standards of beauty on my home planet are much different from the ones of Earth - particularly this quadrant. I do not wish to offend anyone if I explain these standards."
Z-Team: (*excited/interesting chattering!*)
Flambae: "I'm not scared. I know I'm hot shit on this planet at least."
Sonar: "I'm a half bat half man. I flushed beauty standards down the toilet with my last baggie."
Golem: "I ain't even made of meat."
Malevola: "So... is Blazer considered hot on your planet, or do you have a specific fetish you aren't telling us about?"
Phenomaman: "I can assure you, Ms Gibb, that by my people's expectations, Blonde Blazer is considered a great beauty by skill alone."
Z-Team: (*annoyed/disappointed grumbling*)
Invisigal: "Knew it."
Phenomaman: "-Even if she'd be considered too small and... bright."
Z-Team: (*confused/interested noises?*)
Punch Up, emphasising: "Small. And Bright. She's like 6 foot tall, mate! That's on the taller side for most women!"
Prism: "Wait wait wait, what do you mean by bright? Like her literal colour palette? Or the whole blazing thing? Am I cooked?"
Phenomaman: "Apologies. I will explain further. On my planet, the females are typically much larger than the males. In ancient times, it was considered advantageous to woo a woman of great size and strength, as to foster strong progeny. As millennia drew onwards, the broad standard of beauty shifted to women who could easily defend both themselves and their mates singlehandedly, while also being able to hunt without detection. Males in turn, have polar physical expectations. This is broadly speaking of course, many people like myself are born with defying traits."
Z-Team: (*frantic questioning!*)
Coupe: "So, who among us would be considered the most attractive woman on your planet?"
Phenomanan, uncomfortable pause: "It would be a tie between Ms Gibb and yourself Coupe. Although, Ms Gibb is vibrantly red, her height and defined musculature makes her visually stunning. Meanwhile, Coupe's dark colouration and swift hunting prowess would have her considered an excellent potential mate."
Malevola, delighted: "Ha!" (*high-fives Sonar*)
Coupe: (*light blush as Punch Up hypes her up*)
Sonar, remembering: "Oh dang, wait! Thats like a thing in bats too! Chicks are bigger and badder cus they be fighting opps every day of the week, while the guys just hang around."
Coupe, recovering from her blush attack: "It is seen in many birds as well. Among, hawks and falcons, both parents are needed to defend the nest. The female is larger as to better survive laying eggs, and to continue hunting afterwards."
Phenomaman: "I am shocked! I did not know this planet had such familar structures! Though I have seen what you call a pea-cock before, I assumed it was a rare exception."
Phenomaman: "I suppose it would have been my former teammate and work colleague Brickhouse. Her size, strength, and her grassy coloration would have her considered what you may call; a supermodel."
Prism, impressed whistle!: "Ain't no debate from me!"
Malevola: "You ever hit on her before? I mean.. you had no problem dating Blazer so..."
Phenomaman: "I will admit, I did feel surface-level attraction to Brickhouse when we met. However, when we became closer in a platonic sense, my attraction faded and replaced itself with camaraderie. She has also expressed her singular attraction to earth women in public conversation many a time."
Malevola, excited: "Is she single? Do you know if she has a type?"
Phenomaman: "Last time we conversed, Brickhouse expressed disappointment that she did not have a life mate. She has told me before that she is attracted to women of similar physical condition as herself, and preferably with what she calls a cute accent."
(*sounds of a portal opening up*)
Sonar: "Malevola just left the building."
Prism: "Yooooo girl! Catch that tiger!"
Phenomaman: "I confused by what has happened. Has Ms Gibb run off to confront Brickhouse in combat?"
Flambae, laughing: "Nah, man. You just sent an admirer her way."
Phenomaman: "OH! I am glad to have been involved in this matchmaking! I wish them the best of luck!"
Punch Up: "Wait wait wait... if big strong women are the norm on your planet... then what about the lads?"
Robert: "I admit, I'm curious too. Especially since the first thing you said to me was that I'm small."
(*teasing "oooo!!"s from the Z-Team*)
Phenomaman, a lil embarrassed: "Again, my people's standards are quite different from humans. As I've explained before, since females are typically larger and camouflaged, the ideal male is often... more slender. And brightly coloured."
Flambae, laughing: "You fucking serious? The guys on your planet are all twinks?"
Phenomaman: "I fail to see the correlation between yellow snack cakes and small men."
Sonar: "Small, portable, brightly coloured. May or not contain white stuff."
Phenomaman: "Ah. Now I understand."
Robert: "So then, who of us would you consider more attractive? By your people's standards I mean."
Phenomaman: (*stares between the men with a mixture of discomfort and calculating*)
Phenomaman: "Please promise not to be angry with me when I reveal my opinions."
Phenomaman: "You all have varying flaws and strengths in terms of attractiveness. Flambae is brightly coloured and pleasing to the eye, but his aggressive nature would be frowned upon as a potential life mate."
Flambae, scoffing: "Whatever man. I'm not even into women, alien or otherwise. I defy the norm."
Phenomaman, continuing: "Robert and Punch Up are indeed small, portable men, but they have comparatively very dull plumage. I shouldn't discount this however, as my own is equally dull. The later would be ultimately considered the more attractive of you both, due to his sturdier body."
Punch Up, proudly flexing: "Niiiice! You hear that, my queen? We're alien beauties!"
Robert: "Huh. Feels weird to be not be considered an ugly guy by aliens."
Phenomaman: "Robert, you actually teeter the line between the male and female ideal. Your physical traits clash most interestingly. If you were female, you would be considered most beautiful!"
Prism: "You hear that, Bobby? You GNC af!"
Robert, sarcastic: "Good to know."
Sonar: "So I'd be-"
Phenomaman: "Considered prey I afraid. Or a trophy."
Sonar: "Dang it." :(
Phenomaman: "Your ears and soft hairs are quite adorable though."
Sonar, mood lifted: "Oooo!"
Phenomaman: "And you Golem! Your gentle approach to children and animals makes you attractive by means of personality!"
Invisigal: "I did. I've heard people goon over you from voice alone, dude."
Prism: "Okay, so if the guys here are only sorta hot, then who's the hottest guy you've met?"
Phenomaman, stalling: "Er... well, by the standards of my people... Robert's friend Chase was most handsome as a young man, swift too. But by current appearances, the most ideal male by sense of attractiveness would be-"
(*sound of water splashing, and wet footsteps!*)
Waterboy, out of breath: "Hell- Hi, guys! Ma'am- Malevola texted that I shou- needed to be part of this conv- debate!"
Phenomaman: ......"
Z-Team: (*shocked faces as the realisation hits them*)
Flambae, disbelief: "...no fucking way."
Phenomaman, blushing: "He is very slender and most certainly brightly coloured!"
Prism: (*cackling!*) "Get it Whiteboy!"
Sonar, philosophically: "The moistest man in existence, the hottest man in existence."
Coupe: "I mean... I can see it. He's like a nervous, soggy canary. Very easy for a woman of means to snatch up and bring home."
Waterboy, confused: "Exc- pardon me!?"
Flambae: "Congratulations. Phenomaman's backwards-ass species considers you the most attractive man alive."
Waterboy: "W-what!?"
There are demands that they get a second opinion (mostly by Waterboy himself) from another inhabitant of Urgot-52dc, but Phenomaman disagrees - explaining that he does not wish to "incite a bloody tournament for his hand". Whatever that means???
Behold! The ideal male form!
Add any more fun ideas you can think of with these! I love writing dialogue for these goobers :3
Can’t help but think that maybe we missed something as the viewer with dispatch.
Specifically in the romance route with blazer
Spoilers ahead!!!!!!
So, the dialogue we see after Robert reject Blazer, when she’s seemingly out of earshot, and says ‘what the fuck?’ Something about that feels off to me.
At at first I kinda chalked this up to the fact that she was just rejected by the guy she was interested in, who actively chose to go on a date with her, but something just felt so out of character (at least to me) with how she said it and the fact that she didn’t say it directly to Robert.
Then, when the housewarming party happens, Blazer isn’t even mildly interested in the fact that Robert’s dancing with invisigal, doesn’t even spare a second glance.
That got me thinking more, what if when you do romance blazer, Invisigal’s not just upset when you dance with Blazer because she likes you, but because she knows something we don’t?
When we first meet Invisigal in the conference room, it doesn’t make sense that she’s just. Hanging out in there, if she was, she could have just left, without turning invisible. But she clearly wanted to eavesdrop. Based on what we see in dispatch, most people would assume that’s just how she is, nosy and wants to know everyone’s business. But what if there’s more to it than that?
Another thing that I come back to, is when Blazer tells you she wouldn’t have let you fire Invisigal even if you chose her when cutting someone from the team. Why does she favorite Invisigal then? Invisigal clearly acts like she doesn’t want to be there, so why is Blazer so hellbent on keeping her??
My theory is that Blazer was maybe keeping tabs on Invisigal because she’s working with shroud, and Invisigal knows about it.
As for having Robert as a dispatcher, when he went into a coma, I have no doubt Chase would have mentioned knowing mecha man, and after hearing Robert was awake, and that the suit was out of commission, he would have worried about Robert not having a job. So of course he’d trust Blazer when she suggests seeing if Robert will take the job at SDN, enough so to give her Robert’s full name.
And when she does approach Robert, almost all dialogue options lead you to see him as mistaking her proposition for a date, something she could work with, to get Robert to trust her enough to get close. And in turn, find the astral pulse.
It also gives shroud the upper hand with phenomaman when Blazer dumps him, being too depressed to function in hero work, enough so that he was let go from his team, and no longer an active threat to villains.
And finally, when Blazer comes to save Robert, shroud is haling her as a ‘real hero’, and is fully prepared when she knocks down the door, but not prepared enough to have a team or plan ready to combat her showing up? His whole thing is being prepared for almost every scenario. To me something just doesn’t add up. Idk tho I could be way off lmao
I might add onto this eventually, it’s kind of a word vomit right now but that’s just my thoughts on it!! I’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on this!!
Theory: Waterboy is Soggy all the time cus he's Too Skinny
Ok, so we know that Waterboy/Herman has trouble with controlling his water-emitting power. It not only affects him socially, but also greatly impacts his daily life.
We see in the first comic that he's tried to waterproof the whole household, and can't even grab toilet paper without wetting it. There's ziploc bags on things he'd be regularly touching. The walls and wooden floors of the home have water-damage. Towels acting as little pathways across the house. And he seems to be the primary caregiver to his grandma.
Well I had a theory on how ol' Herm could help himself elevate this sogginess issue!
While part of it may be an emotional/mental control-thing, since he mentions it gets worse when he's nervous (so always), it could also be physical in nature.
Some headcanon that Herman's powers give him Hyperhidrosis aka Excessive Sweating (medical link), basically the body can't turn off the sweat glands. Now this can be treated and managed, normally with regular hygiene, antipersiperants, mild electric shock (iontophoresis) to the glands, or straight up fkcing removing sweat glands with surgery.
But I also think it could also be an issue of water storage.
Herman doesn't look like he has a water bladder or glottis to hold the water (unless he's a merperson of some kind), so there's a question on where he's holding all that fluid! Is he in a constant state of needing to pee? Is he always bloated?
Well there are ways mammals store excess water in our bodies!
Thats right. Humps. Fat humps to be precise.
And muscles, but they don't let go of water that easily.
Where as most of your body water is held in your lean tissue; Fat/Adipose tissue is super good at storing water without being too energy demanding. Fat also allows for water to be released without much issue so it can hydrate organs and cells. Camels got them humps to store water-rich fat to keep their engine's nice and oiled until they find another water source.
Now look at Waterboy:
This man is bones. Canonically a 6’4” (193.04 cm) beanpole.
Another common theory about Waterboy is that he has a mostly-liquid diet. Hard to eat solid food when your body fast-tracks it down the pipe. Its like people who don't got stomachs.
So I'm wondering... would Waterboy be able to control his water-generation better if he had more body fat?
Imagine the first time he goes to a GP on SDN's health insurance, and the doctor suggests "Going hogwild" on his diet cus this boy's BMI is way too low for an active superhero. (link to a relevant MBMBAM segment)
Robert, in waiting room: "So? How did it go?"
Waterboy, holding a laminated doctor's note, confused: "He said I need to... get fat?"
SDN Doc, intercepting: "Technically yes. He's considered dangerously underweight, even for a non-active hero. Herman says he doesn't eat much because of digestion issues brought on by his condition, so I'm giving him the all-clear to drink as many milkshakes and ice cream he can handle. The extra fat may also help store more of his body water. I've also written him a prescription to get iontophoresis devices to see if it helps with the excess sweating on his hands and feet. If it doesn't improve we can explore more invasive treatments."
Robert: "Huh. First time I've heard a doctor say someone needs to gain weight."
SDN Doc, checks clipboard: "Oh yeah, that reminds me. Robert, you need to eat more nutrition-dense foods. Fresh fruit, nuts, and vegetables. You haven't regained much weight back since your coma, and I don't want you to be at risk for malnutrition."
Robert: "Ugh. Fine."
So cue Robert and Herman having medically advised snack time.
The Z-Team are a little envious. But supportive.
Flambae: "I know an Afghan restaurant run on one of my aunties - I'll send you the location. Trust me, you will not leave until they decide you've had enough. Now go get some meat on those flat asses."
The team also start bringing in extra food for their fave dispatcher and soggy hero. Lots of frappes and thick soups for Waterboy, and lots of full meals for Robert.
It doesn't take too long to notice physical changes.
Sonar, on call: "Heeyy Robby? Is there like a tailor or haberdashery nearby?"
Robert, looking a lot healthier: "Why? Thinking of switching up the suit?"
Sonar: "Not at the moment, no. It's Waterboy. I think he outgrew the wetsuit."
Robert, unsurprised: "Skin-tight latex isn't very forgiving."
Sonar: "Yeah, it's a fashion emergency down here. He leaned over during our last call and it is not looking pretty. You know he goes commando?"
Waterboy, distressed, Sonar's suit jacket wrapped around his hips: "I had no idea it go to my bu- there first!"
Robert: "It's different for everyone, but generally you start gaining weight in your hips and thighs first. I even had to go up a pants size recently."
Sonar: Yeah, we need Prism down here stat. She's been meaning to give him a redesign."
Needless to say, Waterboy is the recipient of much light-hearted teasing. Hard not to when your nerdy teammate got more "junk in the trunk" than before. Visi is in a constant state of trying not to slap it. XD
Suddenly one day, someone absentmindedly asks Herman to pass them a something, and a revelation is made.
(*in the SDN breakroom*)
Malevola, by coffee machine: "Pass me a cup, babes?"
Waterboy, at the other side of kitchenette: "Oh, sure." (*hands over a foam coffee cup*)
Malevola, pauses, looking at the cup in her hand: "..."
Waterboy, mood deflating: "Oh. Sorry, there's a dry cloth by the-"
Malevola, delighted: "No, Herm, thats not it! It's dry!"
Waterboy, shocked: "Wh-what!?"
(*Waterboy grabs a paper towel, watching as it stays firm and dry in his hands. The rest of the breakroom is silent.*)
Waterboy: (*quiet. face gradually reddens*)
Invisigal: "Oh shit, I think he's gonna start crying."
Punch Up: "Feeling a bit emotional, lad?"
Waterboy: (*nods with a squeak*)
Golem: "Bring it in, wetdude."
(*Waterboy hugs Golem, the rest of the Z Team giving him light hugs, as big Ghibli-tears run down Waterboy's face.*)
Very next thing Herman does once he figures out how to manage his sogginess, is to hug his grandma. Then the cats. Then Robert. Then Beef. Then Chase. Then- (this continues until somebody stops him).
The gang are super proud of him. :3
But still teasing tf out of him. >:3
Invisigal: "Looks like Operation: Give Waterboy a Bubble-Butt was a success."
Waterboy, checking his figure: "EHH?!"
Coupe: "She's right you know. You're technically storing your excess water in your ass fat."
Prism: "Don't be ashamed, Hermy! It's a good look for you!"
Flambae: "Can we start calling him Bubble-Butt-Boy now?"
Waterboy, flustered: "N-no!"
Phenomaman: "I fail to see the downside in being known for a large posterior. I myself was once named Dumpy."
Waterboy: "I am not-"
Z Team, chanting: "Bubble-Butt! Bubble-Butt!"
Waterboy: (*defeated but fond sigh*)
Possible sequel to this post about my theories on Phenomaman's/Katon-Ur's species;
If the Urgot-52dc aliens are bird-like, would they do similar courtship behaviours?
The melon arrangements may be Katon's way of courting via food.
Phenomaman: (*dances flamboyantly, ruffling his plumage*)
Blonde Blazer: (*thoroughly confused, but interested*)
In fact, a birdy outlook on things may be why Katon reacts so badly to the breakup. A lot of birds mate for life and can die of literal heartbreak if that bond is broken.
Robert when he finds edible arrangements and brightly coloured trinkets on his desk after adding Phenomaman to the team; "???"
Robert, looking a cool rock left on his desk: "Does he do this to everyone or..?"
Mandy, realising: "Oh Robert..."
Note: courtship behaviour may advance to performative fighting with other Z-Team members in hopes of drawing attention of his crush.
Phenomaman: "I wish to fight you."
Flambae, just chilling: "Huh? Why?"
Phenomaman: "I wish to court the wet janitor, and I believe our combined display will draw his attention."
Flambae: "...sure."
(*cut to the break room being in utter burnt shambles. Phenomaman and Flambae are still mock-fighting, causing more damage to their surroundings than to each other*)
Waterboy: "Wh-what? Why?! I got- I have to clean this up!"
Phenomaman (internally): "My display is failing! I must try another tactic!"
Phenomaman: (*starts aggressively bird-dancing*)
Waterboy, baffled: "Wha-?"
Just, confused bird-person Phenomaman trying to find himself a life mate.
Okay so I tend to consider the "Flambae loses a tooth"-route to be canon (despite loving Coupe flirting with Robert) for a number a reasons;
In a crowded setting, tossing water on an on-fire person/object makes a lot more sense than grain alcohol.
In what universe would a fashionable gay man not have an eyebrow pencil, or at least ask his diva bestie (Prism) to borrow hers?
Personal preference; Flambae losing his tooth due to fumbling (tripping on ice cubes) is a lot more karmatic vs losing his eyebrows cus Mecha Man threw a drink on him. (Still funny tho)
The tooth gap is honestly cute. I've seen really cute ideas where he bonds with his niece over their matching missing tooth.
The loss of his eyebrows brings up... questions.
Is his hair not exempt from fire damage because it's technically dead skin cells? (Instant face peel lol) But in that case, does that mean Flambae coats his luscious locks in thermo-gel every shift like a ballerina? (He does seem like he would) Would he need to do this with his body hair? He might accidentally give himself a Brazilian wax each time he lights up.
Or do accelerants like alcohol bypass Flambae's natural flame immunity? This would put him at major risk if he were ever sent somewhere with an oil spill or a leaky gas main.
One theory on Reddit suggests it's tied to a level of concentration or conscious control - like Invisigal's ability extending to her clothing and/or things she's actively holding.
Either way;
I doubt Flambae would forgive Blazer if his dispatch avatar updated have him sans-eyebrows. He would demand it to be changed.
You guys think Phenomaman likes Opossums/Possums so much because they remind him of himself?
A creature whose appearance is reviled by others to the point of fear or revulsion. Cast as "other" by virtue of biology. A being that actively helps it's community, but is shunned by those who should be most thankful for it.
An alien in it's own home.
(That and/or Phen's species also have parental pouches like a possum do.)
How do we feel about the theory that "Pom Pom is related to Chase"?
Cus I think it has some delightful fluff and angst possibilities, but theres also a chance Trackstar was Pom Pom's inspiration or her mentor.
Lore:
Are both African-American speedster heroes with a highschool sports aesthetic - a track & field athelete, and cheerleader.
Pom Pom in the dispatching tutorial canonicaly giggles "Keep up!" when she's selected for a mission.
Pom Pom has no canonical age, but her appearance may be affected if she inherited Chase's speed aging.
Pom Pom's color scheme is a pastel version of Track Star's. Pastel blue, coral red and white vs cyan, scarlet red, and white.
Chase alludes to having a past girlfriend he still thinks about (if you cut Coupe). She was taller than him, and liked kissing him on the head. Lost love?
Would not put it past a relative of Track Star deciding to follow his footsteps, despite protests.
About a certain odd power Waterboy seems to have...
"Holy Water Spit": Waterboy no longer assigns himself. Waterboy will heal up to two heroes when sent on a call together."
Guys
Waterboy can literally heal people avatar-waterbender-style.
Imagine if Waterboy accidentally spat on Chase one day (Or the Z-Team convinced him to jokingly "anoint" Starblazer for his return to heroism), and suddenly the retired hero's skin suddenly looks a lot better.
