#dissociationproblems

[katandhercgbojac]

Some of my alters want to start dating but my boyfriend won’t let them. I understand where he’s coming from, but I also wish he would understand that my alters need someone to love just as much as I do.

[oblivions-kiss]

Those times where you dissociate so hard that the "lights are on but no one is home", and your OCD gets triggered, and you clean the entire kitchen from top to bottom on auto pilot mode while being completely nonresponsive, fucking injuring yourself in the process. 'Those times' being today. (๑×﹏×๑); #dissociativeidentitydisorder #dissociationproblems #spoonie #zerococonciousness #ouch #myeverythinghurts #idontlikemybrain #pleasesendtylenol

[katandhercgbojac]

So I’m officially going to finally tell my mom about my alters. I’m super nervous because I don’t know how she’ll react. I really hope she reacts well and (most importantly) believes me.

[katandhercgbojac]

One of my alters is feeling so paranoid that it’s actually effecting me. It’s probably Hannah because she’s really the only one who has this much paranoia. All I know is I’m on high alert, I’m slightly shaking, I keep thinking I’m hearing things, and I’m terrified, and I have no idea why. It’s rare that someone in the headspace has such a strong feeling that the person who’s out feels it, especially to this level. I hate it. I’m literally sleeping with 3 night lights at this point.

[katandhercgbojac]

So, despite my diagnosis being confirmed by 4 separate psychologists/psychiatrists, my current therapist refuses to believe that I have DID. She says I “just have a very creative imagination.” Like, what? Guess I’m looking for a new psychologist.

And tbh I’m actually really irritated by that comment. I’ve doubted myself so much over the course of my diagnosis. And for her to ignore four other psychologists and say it’s just my imagination is just so ignorant and awful. Why would I fake having DID? What do I get out of that? Friends fearing me? My boyfriend thinking about leaving due to what my alters have done? Strangers fearing me? Wtf?

[katandhercgbojac]

Help me. ~Alexander

[katandhercgbojac]

When you’re playing a fun board game and your alters are all lining up waiting to see who’s going to front.

[katandhercgbojac]

Faking?

You guys can have your opinions. That’s fine. It honestly doesn’t bother me. You know why? Because I know the truth. I know I’m not faking, I know my mental illnesses are real, and I know I’m not “acting.” My psychologists know the truth, and I trust the trained professionals more than I trust some random trolls on the internet who have never met me and base their opinions off of the very limited information that is on my blog. A younger me would have took those comments to heart, would have questioned whether I could be faking or not. But the older me knows that faking is a conscious choice, and I would know if I was faking. So thank you to those who have sent those messages. They’ve helped me to grow as a person, as a system, and as an advocate. Bless you all.