#dissotiation

[belowe-system]

family portrait.

[zertrampeltier]

Ich kann nicht mehr..aber ich habe nicht das recht aufzugeben

[kumeka-irusu]

the worst thing about derealization is not recognizing ppl u love and care for ... And things you've been living with for long time... I mean you you kinda know who they are and in the back of your head there's an understanding of the irrationality of what's happening to your brain rn but anyway... I remember the first time I experienced it - I was 14, sitting on the couch wit my brother while he was on the phone w mum and suddenly it hit me : WHO IS THIS PERSON?? who is he talking to?? where am I? whose life is this actually??? and I was so scared I went outside to get some air but it made me feel even worse bc I walked the streets of the city I've been living in all my life without recognizing its streets and buildings... I remembered everything, of course - my name, my family members, the city itself, but everything just didn't feel like MINE... Like smb put my soul and mind in a body of some other girl, gave me fake memories only to convince me that this was my actual life when I myself clearly didn't feel like I belong here, like im home.. my parents, my friends seemed unfamiliar, total strangers to me... I was terrified. And since then I still experience those feelings sometimes. Not recognizing myself in the mirror also sucks, but not recognizing people and things and places... This is so creepy... I feel lonely, I feel scared, like i came here from another world and was forced to live the life that's not mine ...