Catching Up
So, it's been quite sometime since I've been around here. I have been super busy. Motherhood is no joke. That's right. I had my baby girl! Nothing in the world can prepare someone for the immense love that you feel when you become a parent. It is exactly like the kind of cheap, overly emphasized feeling that they explain in movies, which makes it that much more surprising for me. I'm different now. And that's what makes it surprising for the rest of the world (or at least anybody who knows me well). Of course anytime a person changes, whether it be subtle change or dramatic, there will always be someone there to treat you differently, and I've seen the difference with everyone I know. Majority of my friends don't talk to me anymore. I can only guess that they think I forgot what having a good time means now that I'm a mom. Maybe they just don't wanna feel held back from enjoying life, as if somehow I would convert them all from the party life into being mature adults who want to settle down and have eight kids. I don't fucking know and personally, I don't fucking care, but it is humorous to me in a sense so it is somewhat worth mentioning (Obviously I am still a bit explicit, so I guess I can't say I'm completely different). But, truth be told, not all the change is terrible. My husband respects me more than he ever has and is definitely more protective. My older brother went from pointing out all my failures in life to complimenting me on how well of a mother I am, and telling me he is impressed with who I am as a person these days (if you know Ben, you know that this is typical Twilight Zone behavior), and my sister and I have never been so understanding of each other. She was just always on one side of the playing field, I on mine. Where we were was just where we were and WHO we were was just who we were. And that was opposites. And there was a lot of clashing between the two of us, always. Now we are starting to see that maybe we aren't so different after all. I think all these changes happen once you become a responsible parent because it's like a switch flicks somewhere in your brain that tells you, "Hey. Life is not a game anymore. Not for you. No more playing it fast and loose. Being free spirited is not a luxury you can afford anymore." You mature. And seriously, you see things in a perspective you never thought possible. Ugh, I probably sound like that speech you've heard 1,000,001 times in sex ed class. Who wants to hear that shit? No one. Until it happens to you and you are singing the same tune. So yeah, yeah. You get it. I'm a mom. But that's not all that's changed. I'm starting school in the fall! I will be attending UNM, studying pre law. I'm excited! I don't wanna tell very many people because I feel like I've never really been taken seriously by anyone I know (which I can't say I'm surprised about), and because of this, I don't need peoples' doubts smothering my positive vibes. I also re-established my old hobby of tarot card reading, but I know more now than I ever have and my intuition is sky high because of the unwavering focus I have put into it. I have been studying divination in many forms actually, so I can now actually partially read auras. I'm still not great and can only really see most peoples' outter layer now, but it takes a lot of training and dedication to be able to develop the sight needed for it, and in those terms, I've done beastly. I have read cards for many people now and my readings are dead on. It's kinda crazy. I've read a few auras, and you wouldn't believe how accurate I've been. I don't tell other people about the aura thing either. Too many skeptics. But I read people I know well enough and it's amazing how much their energy reflects their personality and lifestyles. It's so crazy. Anyway, this has been my life up to this point. There's been many changes, but I am still mostly me through it all. Always, just doing the best I can.