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wednesday morning

sun has risen. so we are both shining. I call that duality.

I feel a bit healing today- I think I want to repot some of my plants. 🪴

I’m gonna do my errands early so I can come home and move the flow of my house. it feels so good to trash the old— spiritually , mentally and physically, materially.

cleansing is the theme. realignment is the main character. gotta believe you are limitless baby.

they were serious when they said you become what you think.

and I’m thinking — godly—— and —- and I have hidden myself in the mountains again.

-x

friday

good? no bad. Like baddie, fuck it up.

disperse the energy, roll around in it, kick up the dust.

I have both gold necklaces on today and I feel like the holy mother herself.

thank Judas.

-x

#thank Judas #fuck it up #slayyyyy #it girl #diary #girl interrupted #divinely violent #severely feminine #tumblr diary #diaryposting #personal diary #poetic #writeblr #writing #writers and poets #poetry #poetry blog

Sanya Kantarovsky, Mandible, 2020, watercolor on paper.

#art #divinely violent #divine woman #severely feminine #holy mother #earth angel #healing woman #diary #tumblr diary #diaryposting #personal diary #poetic

saturday

an enigma.

Am I mysterious or do still have unmet parts of me?

i think it would be fair and unfair to say that. we will always have unmet parts of us wouldn’t we?

I don’t believe our form is made to be absolute. we are made to change but don’t know how to DEAL with the change.

-x

why do I always think people are judging me? Why can’t I accept that no one will understand me- not because I can’t be understood- it’s because it’s impossible to experience someone’s life from their perception. You can only try and imagine it , compare it, flip it around a few times, and make a judgment.

- but there’s so many of us, i have double the company most people have had in years- or their existence. Fuck outta here. It’s like a gang, it changes you, you get hard, you get vicious, blunt, abrasive.

i am a product of my environment, no matter the label “mother” ——-

I am chaos.

-x