Paladin: How did you think any of this was a good idea? Warlock: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Paladin: Oh. Warlock: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.
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Paladin: How did you think any of this was a good idea? Warlock: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Paladin: Oh. Warlock: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.
Rogue: Criminal record? I don’t have a criminal record! The only illegal thing I’ve done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor! Rogue: Just kidding! I’ve killed people.
Fighter: Please, don’t say anything to Paladin! Rogue: You want me to lie to Paladin? Fighter: Is that a problem? Rogue: No.
Bard: *playing a G4 on loop* Sorcerer: *a tear starts to roll down their cheek* [window error noises]
Monk: Are you sure about this? Bard: Have I ever let you down? Monk: All the time. Bard: What? Monk: You’re very unreliable. It’s like one of the hallmarks of your personality. Bard: You’re not remembering all the times I’ve been awesome.
Paladin: Can you do something for me?
Rogue: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it.
Paladin: Can you do the dishes?
Rogue: *already leaving the room* No.
Fighter: I live for two reasons.
Monk: And those would be?
Fighter: I was born and I haven't died yet.
Warlock: If I die my funeral is gonna be the Biggest F*cking Party and you're all invited.
Paladin: 'If'?
Wizard: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die!