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Dec 29, 2025

Silent Night,Peaceful Night.

Cw: Breakdown/PTSD scene, mentions of trauma of being a soldier, insomnia is mentioned. leg injury mentioned

Summary: For the soldiers of Rainbow, this year has been wild and terrible. But the holidays at home bring some brief respite, and renews their energy to keep fighting.

-> A/N: Christmas with the cowdens 25! Its becoming a bit of a tradition now to write a christmas fic w my cowden family. Taglist: @mrs-goemio @live-bait @mahitosoulmate @faerie-circle-ships

Christmas at the Cowden Estate always felt like a movie. The fields and the house covered in snow,the decorations hung each and every year.

The family welcomes back two of their sons,and some of his in-laws. Lazaro could cry as Meredith and Stewart brought him in for the warmest, gentlest hug they could muster. This year has been rough on him.

--Welcome home,Hen.

Meredith said,cupping his sons face. Her eyes soft with sadness but relief of seeing him home safe. --How about you go upstairs and sleep. Your brothers Will take care of the rest,Okay?

Laz didnt like the idea of not helping, but his mom Gently took him to the second floor and helped him settle in bed,that was already made and ready. The old woman gives his son a kiss on the forehead and strokes his hair,she really liked his New haircut- and the last one too.

She stays until shes sure hes asleep,and whispers"sweet dreams,hen" before going back downstairs to start making dinner.

The holidays werent easy to live with from Lazaros experience,coming from an abusive family.

But the cowdens made it their life mission that he finds solace and joy in the festivities once again. They dont share the same blood,biologically, but they might as well do. Hes their son.

Doc,Jackal and Lion made quick work of carrying their bags inside. Kieran,the cowdens eldest,drove them from the airport to their home. The ride filled with catching up conversations and jokes.

--How's Kingie holding up?--Stewart asked to Doc and Lion,them and Jackal in the kitchen sharing some coffee- though the spanish Man was pouring himself an extra strong one because he hasnt slept.

--Not the best,If im to be honest-- Doc answered,thick french accent as he spoke-- Hes been trying to Keep a brave face,as he usually does. But its affecting Him.

--Oui. With his grandfather's health declining faster every day,he hasnt been doing okay-- Lion answered,looking into his cup with this grief in his eyes. He hates seeing Laz suffer-- He's been rushed in to the hospital for high blood pressure,and hes gotten worse at walking.

Jackal sat beside his in-law,the four men sitting across the kitchen aisle. The spaniard takes a swig from his mug and sighs in comfort,the warmth and the taste were nice. Even if he did drink pure,black,coffee.

--Psych evaluation said hes in no condition to be deployed either-- The spanish Man said-- with him coming out of his psychiatric medication And this ontop of it all.

Stewart breathed out,shaking his head-- And that numpty still insists on keeping a brave face. -- He held his face in his hands-- Good thing you all took yer leaves. An' thank ya for lookin' out for kingie.

Kingie was male version of the family nickname,Queenie. Nickname Laz was fond of and nickname the family called him more often than not,even more so than his actual name.

--Any time,Mr.Cowden-- Doc reassured-- We love your son very dearly.

--Told you to call me Stewart,Gustave.

--Right. Apologies. Force of habit.

Meredith comes in,tying her apron around her waist. She looks up at the men,a Brow raised. She had the same temper and willpower as Laz did,so she was terrifying.

--Why're you four muckin' about? Up you go then,gotta get dinner ready. Specially you-- she looked at her husband with a playful little glare.

--Ya heard the missus-- Stewart sighed,acting all fauxly annoyed. -- C'mon lads.

Terance and Gavin (the middle children of the cowdens) join the Group soon enough. Terance takes Jackals spot since the insomniac hasnt slept a wink in days. So the spaniard is relegated to setting up the table alongside Gavin.

Kieran and Seamus set up the table itself,opening it to make it bigger and longer for all of them to fit. Chairs are placed and the fireplace gets a bit of fuel added to it as the TV above it drones off in the background.

Even if theres still a few days to go before christmas, it still felt like it was the 25th all day round. Thats just part of the magic the estate had.

Seamus lumbered his Giant frame down the Hall,he had tried to be quiet as he went up the stairs. With little success.

He very Gently opens the door to his brothers room and steps in. He sees Lazaro asleep,curled up with all his plushies,dry tears on his cheeks. He cried silently again. The scotsman thought,his heart breaking.

Sitting beside his brother, he watched him rest. Breath shallow and calm,eyes fluttering as if in a dream. He smiles a little and his hand Gently stokes his bicep.

--Kingie, hey. -- he spoke softly-- Wake up,foods ready.

Laz stirrs a little. Feeling around for whatever was moving him. He finds the thick ass wrist of his brother and grabs it.

Sledge chuckles-- C'mon wake up. Terrance'll eat yer Plate.

--oh hell no.

Tarantula slowly moved himself to sit up,rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looks at his older brother, dressed in simple clothes. A casual civilian look for this veteran soldier. His beloved brother.

--C'mon,up you get. -- Seamus squeezed his brothers hand,giving him a warm look full of fondness. And Walked out of the room just in case he wanted to change clothes.

Lazaro went to his closet, where his bags were. He grabs his trusty artic monkeys shirt,some Baggy sweatpants and his trusty shoes hes had since he was fifteen and changes into those clothes.

He goes doen the memory filled Hall. At the back is his parents bedroom,then Gavin's room,then Terrances,his own,Seamus' and finally Kieran. The two bigger Cowdens acting as guard dogs for the rest of the family.

The first part if the narrow staircase creaks a little. He holds on to the railing bolted to the wall. But as he's about to step on the landing tread, he stops.

Lowlit stays the small hallway, the livingroom at the end of the steps is warm and filled with chatter. This heavy coldness and the fluttering in his stomach makes him lose any and all apetite, his throat tightens in a knot and his breath becomes shallow.

Its unclear whats going on in his mind. His body just freezes up. His heart rate picks up and he death grips the handrail.

The steps were creaky, it was obvious when somebody was coming down them. Lazaro is screaming at himself to go downstairs,but he feels unsafe,terrified. Its like hes back at that damn house again- going to eat always had this dreadful,terrible feeling. Bracing to be yelled at,neglected.

His legs feel light then. Knees give out as he begins to shake.

--I got you-- Jackals accent rang out across the small space as he rushed in to hold him.

Laz gives in to be held,hands weakly grabbing fistfuls of his purple button up. His breathing is a mess, he cant move or talk. Hes set on the step so he sits,ryad pushes away his hair and meets his gaze before rushing to hug him.

Soldiers had PTSD it was a terrible side Effect if not virtual requirement to be in the army. Everyone in the Rainbow program had it, but to Tarantula his was specifically terrible. While he had nightmares and other things relating to his job,most of it went down the drain to where his childhood memories were

With everything going on,hes been relapsing. Hes been trying to Keep it quiet only talking to doc and jackal about it. And even that had taken a terrible ammount of effort.

--Just breathe. Its okay-- ryad said softly-- Youre safe. Im here.

Doc didnt take Long to approach with Lion behind him. The four crammed in the staircase.

--Laz,My dear-- Doc said,kneeling to eye level. --Look at me,if youre able.

Ryad moved away so Lazaro could meet the frenchmans gaze. Gustave reached to put his warm hands on his lukewarm skin,its enough for Tarantula to focus on him.

--There. Please,do as Ryad said and breathe.

It takes a few minutes before Tarantula can return to himself. A lot of grounding excersices And breathing. But when he does,he looks up at the three men hovering over him.

Olivier gives him a glass of Ice cold water and a kiss on the forehead. There three people who cared for him came to his rescue,his eyes Sting and gloss over as he smiles just a smidge. Its hard,after everything that hes been through,to believe hes loved and cared for. But things like this remind him otherwise.

He is loveable, he is worthy of love. He's not what his previous family had thought of him.

--I knae ya told me ta wait downstairs but 'm sick with worry!--Seamus strode right on up to the landing like a bull. Lion has to shuffle away to let the Man fit.

The scotsman kneels to meet his brothers face,inspecting for anything. Tarantula laughs a little and leaves the glass of water in Gustave's hands. He hugs his older brother who engulfs him in an embrace. Thick,muscly arms trying not to crush him,yet his worry is heavy on him. Seamus was a loud guy,subtelty wasnt his strongest suit. So he usually sat down in mental crisis moments unless he was the only one who was near.

He was big,scary and loud.

--'m a bit better now,Sea. -- Lazaro reassured,nuzzling his siblings face.

--Thank god-- he sighed-- Anythin' you need?

--Food 'm fucking starving.

Sledge helps him get to his feet,checking Him again. "An' dont even think aboot apologizin!" "I wasnt-Hey!" "Ya were! I knae tha' face!" "Shut the fuck up!!"

Both siblings bicker down the stair case, the other three soldiers chuckling behind them both all the way down to the dinner table. Dinner was served,chatter and catch up talk filling the air in no time.

Meredith's cooking was stellar, as always. A big,hearty meal for the ten people that were there. Desert was provided by Gavin and Terence,some nice Icecream. Even with the cold outside.

--My icecream's melting-- Ryad grumbled,watching his strawberry and chocolate desert become a soup.

--Put it n' the cold ootside. It'll fix itself rite up-- Kieran answered without missing a beat.

The spaniard,always committed to a good bit, promptly stood up and Walked with his Icecream outside. The whole family watched him do that as he sets his bowl on a nice and hefty pile of snow that had been blown on to the porch.

Laughter rings out across the whole house at the sight. And hey what do you know,it actually works.

When Next morning came,Tarantula awoke to a big cuddle pile keeping him trapped. He sighs in comfort and smooshes his face on ryads chest,peppering kisses on it. He very carefully kisses each of his lover's cheeks and chest before trying to slide out the bed the best hes able.

Hes a reconaissance operative. This should be easy.

A sigh leaves him as he finally managed to get out of bed. Then he creeps to his closet where he had put all his clothes the night before,after dinner,to organize his mind.

Thermic leggins under some nice, black cargo jeans. Hefty boots to walk around in the snow. A turtle neck,then a winter sweater. Quietly he grabs one of Ryads fine hairbrushes from his bag and very carefully ties his hair up,mindful of the braids Wamai had done for him just before leaving for Scotland.

He grabs his phone and goes downstairs to help with breakfast. As soon as Kieran sees him in the livingroom,he hugs him and sways him side to side.

--Good morning,sweet pea-- he said with a fondness usually reserved for childhood memories as he squeezed him tight-- Mum n' dad're still sleepin',Same with Seam.

--Morning,big guy--laz spoke softly,with this surrender and warmth. This relief--'kay,good. They deserve to sleep in.

--Speaking of,rest alrite?

--Yeah. You?

--Peachy.

Lazaro pulled away Gently and offered a big,sunshiney smile at his brother. He does the same and both go to the kitchen.

--Look who it is!-- Terence grinned,putting down his philosophy book-- My favorite punk!

--He awakens! --Gaving looked at him from the top of his laptop-- Hes riisen!

--Praise be!-- Terence added.

Laughter rings out across the kitchen,Laz gets a few more warm hugs and kisses to his forehead.

--What doest thou desire me lord?-- Gavin said,jumping from his Seat like a spring chicken. He points at the kitchen.

--Breakfast,you big doofus.-- Tarantula said all endeared.

--I do not knae tha meaning of Doofus-! Ow! Hey! S'barely eight in tha mornin'! -- he rubbed the back of his head where Laz had slapped Him as he passed by towards the oven and the kettle.

--Das whatchu get.

--Okay children-! --Kieran called out.

--Next time hit 'im wit' a chair!-- Terence added.

--Terence-!-- the oldest Cowden barked.

--Booo-! Party pooper!!!-- the other three said.

--Oh,very mature you lot!

With some light fighting and punching,Breakfast gets made. Just in time before the rest of the folks in the house awaken. Ryad stumbles looking like death warmed over.

--And coffee,For you,handsome -- Laz grinned.

--Handsome is debetable right now. -- ryad grabbed the mug and took a sip from it, a long one. Then he gives his lover Many a kisses and a one arm hug. It makes the other Man squeal in surprise as hes caught in the onslaught of affection.

Tarantula got all flustered,head between his shoulders as his free hand presses to the spaniards chest. The other has his cup of tea.

He delivers the rest of the coffee to his other two partners and they all sit there in the kitchen aisle having breakfast and chatting.

Lazaro is sitting on Ryad's lap,Lion on his right and Doc on his left. Hes quite happy in the spot that hes in,hot men all around him.

--This place is a whorehouse-- Gavin said under his breath,as if Reading his brothers mind.

--EXCUSE YOU?!--tarantula yelled,setting his cup down-- you take that back!

--Hw- What? What did he say?-- Terance looked between his two youngest brothers

Kieran rolled his eyes, Seamus sighed into his cup. -- Oi. Mum n' dad's still sleepin'. Shut yer gob you too-- Sledge grumbled.

--He called me a whore!-- Laz pointed at his brother.

--you are,though!-- Gavin laughed.

--Gavin-!

--Do I need to remind you about your birthday,Last Year. That rave in Glasgow.

--HEY-! DONT YOU-!

Gavin gets up from his Seat,laz drops the cup on the counter and rushes out of the room with his brother behind him. Doc face Palms and sinks into himself as Lion and Terance looked,amused,trying to get a good look at what was going on like they were meerkats.

Kieran and sledge follow after the pair,without leaving their drinks. And ryad just sighs and decides that he has not slept enough to deal with this nonsense.

The ruckus awoke the Cowden parents who gave their kids an earful before going back to bed. Gavin and Laz made peace,uneasy and flimsy as it was,and the day went on.

Lazaro wouldnt say it out loud,but being here- Just. With his four brothers,and his three lovers. His parents sleeping the morning off...It was nice. The house was filled with laughter and warmth love found in each grain in the walls.

His eyes gave all his feelings away. Tarantula had always been a skittish Man,people yelling made him cower and flinch,even if he wasnt being yelled at. He startled at a step too loud,or a door closed a little harder than usual, the talk of healthy parent relationships made him sour and sad,he felt unfixable,he felt like a terrible person.

Ocassionally he'd have dreams with some of his traumatic events,distorted and changed in the way the subconcious always did.

To this day Laz finds It hard to believe,but both Doc and Harry had diagnosed a possible PTSD. His job a a soldier made him feel detached, his biological family only watched the news during dinner and lunch. Hes eaten as he watches reports of gang violence,shootouts,economical decline and terrible things countless times.

Before he even touched a gun,PTSD followed him everywhere.

Thats why the Cowden house was so special. It was warm,welcoming,full of laughter and unconditional love. If somebody dropped a glass the first thing to be heard would be "are you okay?" Rather than being berated. Everyone would wait patiently,ask if anybody want a second Plate, screaming would be reserved for extreme ocassions.

In Laz's eyes it was a whole New world. Even after years of being adopted into the family.

Ryad brought his husband closer,his strong arms around him tight. Both snuggled up on the sofa as Doc and Terance are having a conversation about ethics in the medical field.

--Whole lot of mumbo jumbo-- The spaniard whispered. -- Important,sure. But ive lost the thread completely.

--I lost it about half an hour ago-- Lazaro whispered, his head and back on the Mans chest and body between his husband's legs.

Tarantula lets out a yawn as he stretches out. He shuffles a little like a cuddly kitten and closes his eyes,clicking his tongue a little. His loving husband closes his eyes and leans his head back on the arm rest.

--Congratulations you've bored the two insomniacs to sleep-- Lion handed some tea to doc and Terance.

Both men turn to look at the pair less than two feet away from them,totally tuckered out.

--Im happy theyre getting sleep but I dont know if I should feel a little insulted-- Terance murmured into his cup,looking at the ground with this mean side eye.

--I agree-- doc answered.

When christmas roled around some days later,the house was filled with the smell of good food and the sound of music. People mingling About, table being set.

--Dear you've done 'nough -- meredith said softly-- go,rest.

--Are you sure mum?-- Lazaro asked.

Both had been putting the finishing touches to the food. Since the morning,tarantula has been working all around the house,especially with the food.

--Yes. I am. Go,be happy wit' yer husbands n' your brothers. Tha's why youre 'ere. Ill ask yer dad if anythin' comes up.

--'Kay mum.-- he gives her a kiss on the top of her head,seeing as meredith was way shorter than him, and walks to the others.

He wraps his arms around Lion who happily hugs him. He can see his boyfriends face,and whispers: "your mom told you to take it easy?" "Yeah" "d'aw sweet baby. C'mere" . The hug got a little tighter and he got a kiss on the cheek and being nuzzled like a plush which made him really happy.

At some point he went to the livingroom,he was just leaning on the sofá watching some re run of a rugby game over the sound of music. As soon as Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby" began to play,Doc came by to Grab his hand.

Both danced to the beat,soft and slow steps. Delibarate and loving. Filled with giggles and little flirty words.

Gustave Spins his lover extending his arm. He smiles and so does he,before hes carefully pulled flush against the medics chest. All strong and plump and looking so nice in that greyish dark blue button up.

The dance ends with a soft kiss on the lips,right under the mistle toe. That somebody (terance and gavin) Hung up while nobody was looking.

Its a kiss filled christmas.

"Well,Mon soleil. Would you look at that!" "Oh well. Interesting,dont you think,Oli?" "Hm,yes indeed. Whatever shall we do?"

"Your brothers are cheesy" "are you saying no to a kiss,Mr.Ramirez?" "In no way,shape or form Mr.Ramirez~"

Games too- which is always such a mess. Gavin and Terance are too good at chess,Kieran Is a politician so of course he wins every single game of Monopoly.

Cluedo is Ryad's game,seeing as he's a detective. Laz was stupidly great at Blackjack because hes played it countless times on base,Bets included.

Lion and Doc,for all the times theyve had to speak over other doctors or patients heads,are great at Say It With Mimicry and Meredith and Stewart are enthusiasts of Checkers- So was Seamus,being the only one brave (or stupid) enough to play against them.

Finding a good table top game was a nightmare. Which is why theyve been holding a Christmas themed D&D campaign for a few years now. Terance and Laz alternated between being the DMS.

"You reach gingerbread village. Snowcapped with powdered sugar,trees made of chocolate. Hot coco Rivers and banners made of fondant and frosting." Lazaro recounted the sight of the place the players were in.

Surprisingly,Meredith and Stewart had caught the mechanics Pretty quickly. Their children were good teachers and it was a good way to just mess with eachother in a safe way and also being able to conserve their energy.

"I want to eat a tree trunk" stewart says confidently

"Are you dumb? Are ya gonna eat the whole tree or leave it to waste- nevermind I follow suit" meredith says.

Kieran is holding his face in his hands at the shame that his parent's characters: an Orc barbarian and a half-Giant paladin, were being two idiots. " we dont even know if its polite!" The eldest Cowden brother whinged.

"Who cares! S'chocolate!" Stewart exclaimed, eating from the chocolate snacks left on the table.

Fun rule. If you Killed an enemy,aka a piece of chocolate candy,you get to literally eat it. And as one can imagine,Stewart had quite the kill count.

Doc raised his hand to talk and says" My character goes to look for Duke Cocoa." Its still hard not to crack up at the name. " and report we have completed the assigment he gave us"

Duke cocoa was a thinly veiled place Holder for Lazaro himself. Terance's stand in was Viscount peppermint,a vicious candy cane fey.

Its not surprise Doc,Lion and Jackal use this to flirt with their husband. Seamus' and Kieran's characters often,purpousely,getting in the way of the flirting. And Gavin,the resident Rogue was known to try and steal from the Duke at any given time.

They play for about an hour before the clock hits twelve pm. They get ready for the celebration then,and when the time comed they toast. Laz gets Many sweet words and I love yous from his boyfriends,followed by tight hugs and kisses.

His brothers give him a kiss on the head and a big hug. His parents do much the same but also pinch his cheeks and ruffle his hair. Some light playfighting Is also involved when Stewart wishes Him a merry christmas.

Gathered around the beautifully decorated tree,they go Open the presents. Theres ornaments for each partner of Laz and family member. Theres a yellow and black one for lion,a blue one for dock with a bandaid, a beautiful and sparkly purple one for ryad.

A black and purple one for Fenrir,a squeaky duck yellow one for jaeger,and even a completely,coal shaped and colored one for deimos that was always purpously hung at the back of the tree

Paper is teared Open,bows come undone,boxes almost pulled to pieces in the excitement of the gifts.

Lazaro was excitedly waiting to see all the reactions to his gifts. Stewart got a signed rugby ball from his favorite team,Meredith got a set of New cast iron pots shes been eyeing in the town. Kieran got a set of shiny New ties and tie pins to dress his best at the parliament.

Gavin got a nice mouse pad with art Printed on it. Art that Laz made,of course,themed after the obssesion hes had since he was a kid: Ghost in the Shell. Terence got a hefty,hand bound book with all his favorite excerpts from his philosophy books,with hand written annotations and doodles from Laz. Terence could almost cry.

Doc got a beautiful blanket with algerian patterns all over,the frenchman finds it adorable that his partner asked his mother in law to help him choose.

Jackal's gift was a nice chain of gold with a ring pendant,the ring had carved patterns of moons and suns, and a small passage within the inside of the ring " want to make you a unique alphabet,In it, I wantThe rhythm of the rain and The dust of the moon". Ryad had been born in Ceuta,a part of Spain thats heavily populated by Arabic folk. This was a poem written by Nizar Qabbani.

Lion got a few of his favorite metal bands CDs. A nice stack of them,Brand New.

And its not like Tarantula wasnt showered with gifts. He'd struggle to get all these back to his own house even. Anything from jewelry,to plushies,to games and art supplies. He almost cries at how nice everyone was being to him.

Past the time to Open presents, the Cowden's parents go to rest. Giving a kiss on the forehead to Laz,and some to their other sons as they complain. Now that all the siblings were left on their lonesome,the world was at their fingertips.

--So,Did you read those books I lent you. The ones about Blake-- Lazaro asked,hes sitting on the kitchen aisle across from Terance.

The other Man nodded -- Yeah. I did. He makes some beautiful poems. Or,er,made. Sad he was a genius beyond his time. -- He tapped on his mug,filled with some nice tea-- I got ta your favorite while ya were deployed. I uhm. I did cry a little.

--Awhh-- Tarantula cooed-- is that why you called me once I was back on base?

--Yeah...--the other Cowden looked at the marble counter-- By ta way,thanks for tha' book. Cannae believe how long tha' musta taken ya. How did you even-?

--So- remember how I was bedridden for a month or so after the siege on the base? -- his brother nodded-- I got sent home,Sledge Took care of me and I started setting up the texts and shit. Stopped me from going insane, Honestly.

Terance scoffed-- oh my god,only you wuid do tha'. -- he smiled-- well,thanks. Yer tha best.

Laz winked-- I know.

As night settled into the late hours,Doc and Lion tucked in for the night. Ryad was going to stay up until he Walked into the bathroom's Door and was forced to get some shut eye.

--Hey,Check what' did-- Gavin was sitting on the sofa, messing with his PC and a led pannel.

Tarantula leaned on the back of the couch and said-- what?

Gavin presses a key and the LED pannel shows the Icon that held Tarantula's symbol. The arachnid he had named himself after,on the style of Fileteado Porteño,in white,black And yellow.

--Ohhh cool shiiit-- the youngest Cowden said.

--aye,rite? -- Gavin answered-- it also shows Seam's. S'uhm. Ta keep you both close.

--youre so sweet -- Laz replied,kissing the top of his brothers head.

--Owh stappit! Dont be sappy. Ewww.

Terence and Gavin went to bed at around one am. Tarantula had always been nocturnal,like the bug he names himself after. So he went to the kitchen where Kieran was washing the dishes.

He stands beside his eldest brother,tall and proud. Cut of marble and stone with hardened eyes and a Will of iron. A true dragon of scottish folklore made flesh and human. Hes always admired him.

--Yknow. You an' Seam are doin' great-- he spoke without looking up from the dishes. His work roughened hands filled with soapy foam-- Even if GSAC is shooting themselves in the foot with deactivating Rainbow. The world needs project rainbow,we all know this.

--Its that fucker-Lugh. Im sure hes in on it. Fuckin' hate politics. -- Laz sneered. That asshole Lucas Lugh was the bane of the whole organization's existence. Meddling in shit and forcing inspections.

--I Hate em too-- the other Man answered-- If parliament has anything' ta say aboot it. Ill defend you an' Seam. Is comin' back to ta SAS safer? Yes. But.. ive seen how happy rainbow makes ya. You hold yerself taller,prouder. 'Ead hung high. You look at yerself like yer a hero,which ye are, and tha's all I want for ya.

Tarantulas eyes soften and leans on him. He leans a little too,being taller than him its a little awkward.

--I still remember when ya were a wee little bairn. So scared,but ya had this flame in ya. And now its just a wildfire. I cannae be any more prouder. Bu' I can try.

Laz laughed and hugged him. Kieran snickered and nuzzled his hair.

--That means a lot coming from you. Yknow i..I admire you. You hold yourself with such regard. I want to do that too.

--Ya already do,Kingie-- he feels his youngest brother smile against his shirt.

Both stay like that for a few minutes. Silent nights,holy nights like this were precious for soldiers and people who knew tragedy and suffering. The embrace is broken when Kieran is done washing the dishes,and goes upstairs with Gavin and Terance, to sleep. Bidding his brothers a nice sleep.

With hot cocoa and the exterior heater lamps,Seamus and Laz go sit on the back porch. Seeing the farms covered in snow, with the lights of the house and christmas lights spreading their brightness just a few meters before its all pure black landscape on Rolling Hills and a star spackled sky.

They sit on the swing like bench. Just breathing in the cold air and hearing the distant animals of the ranch making noise,some crows here and the far away sound of christmas music from one of their neighborgs.

--This year has been insane --Seamus broke the silence with much more care than he usually has when swinging his hammer. -- tha raid on ta base.

--Keres legion...

--Rescuin' dokka.

Both made a pause. Knowing the words that followed but neither wanting to say it out loud. The deactivation of Rainbow.

--Will...ya join niteheaven?-- seamus asked.

--Hell no. -- his brother answered,holding his cup tight-- Ive had enough violence for a life time. And I dont sell myself to anybody. Im not going to be a mercenary.

--Tha's a relief. -- sledge took a sip from his mug-- I woulda followed if ya did. We're a package deal you an' I.

--Yeah. We are-- Laz tried not to sound too sad. Same as his brother who had glossy eyes and his gaze didnt leave the snowwy floor.

--S'our whole lives. So Many years. So much happened. They cannae expect us ta joost return ta our CTU's like nuthin'.

--They can. Thats kind of the issue with the military system. -- Tarantula tried to not sound so bitter. Few got to see him this angry and frustrated-- The world Will fall to shambles and itll be their fault.

--I agree wit' ya. Lugh Is in their pocket. There's no other explanation-- he huffed like an angry bull.

Both stay in silence for a little. They were spread thin. Tarantula's partners has to return to Detroit in a few days. Lion and Doc to the emergency hospital,Jackal has to sweep about a dozen train carts. Sledge and Tarantula were discharged for a few weeks for health reasons. This whole celebration was a miracle.

Keres would kill Rainbow if things went that way.

Tarantula would be back on the field a few days after Ryad begins his sweep. So even in his state,he cant exactly relax.

--Whitever happen, We're gunna be in this together. -- Seamus said with this sad but hopeful tone,wrapping an arm around his brother. Both lean against eachother and watch the dark expanse of the farm that has seen them grow up.

--Yeah. We Will.

The whistling wind and the birds that sing, the farm animals that call out into the night. Stars twinkle and the moon shines upon the two brothers sitting there. The world pushing them ever forward.

Unstoppable, they always were together. There is no way theyll sit there and take It. As always,all throughout the years,they pick eachother up and Keep going.

Rainbow wouldnt end like this. Not if they had anything to say about it.

But for now,they must rest. Battles are won with good health,after all.

Lazaro finds a space left for him between his three lovers. Rainbow has given him so much. And so as he lays there,surrounded by family and loved ones he tries to find some proper rest.

He can hear his dads snores, gavin's PC still running,one of the books of Terance falling on the ground, Kieran getting up and going downstairs. The breaths of his lovers.

Tomorrow they'd stuff themselves with leftovers,warm up and go tend to the farm. Then,they'd throw snow at eachother and play rough. Life existed beyond his worries.

And it was everything he ever wanted.

#queen tarantula|r6s s/i #familial f/o: sledge #ryad/jackal #doc tag #lion tag #familial f/o: meredith cowden #familial f/o: stewart cowden #familial f/o: kieran cowden #familial f/o: Terence cowden #familial f/o: gavin cowden #ask to tag

voidselfshipp