Backxwash's Only Dust Remains: an album I don't think I'll ever have the right words for.
I don't remember how I came across this album. But I am thankful for whatever force led me to it. It has taken me a while to collect my thoughts about Only Dust Remains, and I am still unsure of what inspires such a deep emotional response to its music.
Do not fear the void It is not your enemy Neither is it your friend
Maybe it's because I relate to it in part, as someone who also struggles with body image, regret, and identity. Because I see myself in the incredibly raw, lucid pictures painted by her verses. Because I too feel the intense anger towards the world that bleeds through every word of this album.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free Thinking bout all the people dead in the street How young was this kid, like eleven or three? While the presidents sit and smile in the embassy seats
Regardless, there is nothing I could say that could accurately capture the experience of listening to this. I learn more from every listen, I come away feeling like I understand this complex masterpiece just a little bit more. I still only have a surface-level understand of most of it. I can tell there's a larger narrative that I'm not fully grasping. It has many different themes, including queerness/transgender identity, self-perception and self image, suicide, substance abuse, mental illness, religion and religious awakening, love and human connection, humanity, and probably a bunch of other ones that I just haven't identified yet.
I know where I've been And I don't know where the fuck I'm going It was a long fucking way But I can tell you one motherfucking thing I feel… I feel… I feel… So motherfucking free
Go listen to this album in any way you can. Preferably, buying a digital or physical copy on the artist's bandcamp or website---I bought a digital copy and burned it onto a CD since there's no CD release (yet. we can hope). It's absolutely one of the best projects from last year, and even if it doesn't move you as much as it did me, it's still really good music. I don't really know what genre to put it in, probably conscious/abstract/experimental hip hop with a lot of rock influences. My favorite songs are "Wake Up", "9th Heaven", and "History of Violence", in no particular order.
