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Google did me so dirty when it comes to Wayne.... For two years it let me believe that The Hot Touch was never released on physical media other than a German vhs in the 80s/90s.
Only to let me discover it on DVD today; even available in two different designs!
It's rambling time
*CRAWLS OUTTA WELL WITH A COMEDICALLY LARGE BACKPACK FULL OF NOTES*
I love totk. Don't get me wrong. I love it. But HOLY HELL TO I WANNA STRANGLE WHO EVER THOUGHT 'HEY MAN LETS GET RID OF ALL THE SHEIKAH TECH OTHER THAN LIKE- TWO GUARDIANS' LIKE EXSQUEEZE ME?? MY BABIESSSS/HJ
But on a serious note, I hate the fact how not only Zelda's character development go backwards, it forced a very black and white view on Hyrule. Rauru and kingdom of Hyrule good, Ganondorf bad. Like. What??? EXSQUEEZE ME.
Okz sure, Ganondorf did murder Sonia and steal a secret stone, and attack Hyrule, but like. Let's just- also note this. If the gerudo have a similar story to the sheikah, the kingdom of Hyrule, aka Rauru forced their hand into surrender.
Though I do like the 'keep your loved ones close and your enemies closer' trope (waiting for the ship art/j)
Let me note here, I am rather young, and Botw is what introduced me into LOZ. So. I still have a lot to learn. Anyway! On ward! (Also warning spoilers for TOTK jsndhdbdbdbd)
*sits down on a grassy patch, unpacking bag*
So!! Oh brother where to I start. Let's start with Zelda first because oh my hylia does it hurt.
Ok.
So, Zelda finds out about Zonai and the thing under Hyrule castle, it's understandable that she would be curious! It was established that she was a curious person.
Anyway, she gets yeeted into the past with a TIME power?!? WHAT. I mean it would explain why it took so long for her light power to wake the fuck up, but still?? It feels so random and forced.
Also in BOTW she spends one HUNDRED years keeping a calamity from destroying hyrule, and now suddenly she can't do jack in TOTK?!? EXSQUEEZE ME. WHAT. SHE MAKES A DAGGER GO BACK IN TIME. wOw- link mastered the power in a day- (I'm sorry but I have so many link rambles)
I just MY BRAIN HURTS. also I just- what the fuck happened to the sheikah?!
Yeah we are talking about this now. Like- fuckers are forgotten by EVERYONE- what happened to the shrines?! OR THE GIANT ASS DIVINE BEASTS LIKE WHERE ARE YOU RUDANA- *SOBS* Oh yeah and let's not forget the fact the champions have been forgotten basically. And Sidon moved the statue of his dead sister to make a statue of link riding him. Don't take that out of context. Also how the fuck did they get rid of the lynel up the mountain like?! Even if link killed it for them it would come back every time- endless building there made it so it couldn't come back there-??? Didn't know monsters had manners. I just- UGH.
Ah yes back to the sheikah tech. Everyone, even the sheikah have forgotten it like bruh. Even if it was like- 8 years since BOTW still- they couldn't have suddenly found everything and got rid of the shrines???
Like- the yiga clan (yes fucks I am talking about them) the yiga clan giving up learning about the sheikah for the Zonai makes sense- because the yiga clan has the depth now- and, they didn't have as much *known* access to sheikah tech. But like- PURAH FOR EXAMPLE- WHY WOULD SHE FORGET ABOUT THE TECH SKDNDJHR- IDC HOW HOT YOU ARE IM MAD AT YOU FOR THAT!
Oh and *SIGHS* lemme talk about the sages. No no, not the ones WE know now, I mean the ones of past. I hate them. The only one I like is the one of the gorons because of that one line he says
Me too buddy, me too/j
Anyway.
I wanna fucking murder these sages. Do they all share the same brain cell??? Other than you Mineru I like you.
Wait hold on that's meme potential. SOMEONE DRAW THE SAGES HAVING THE SAME BRAINCELL/HJ
But I just
I hate them.
So much.
Now let me talk about the best characters in TOTK. Besides kogha.
Farosh, Dinraal, and Naydra.
Dear golly I love these dragons. I vibe with them.
Now it's time for my personal favorite topic
THE YIGA CLAN
I love them. And. Yeah
Though I'm very sad about the missed potential for them. Also is it just me or is almost every yiga a dude..
Idk what to say. Just. I love them. And. Kogha better come back or I will cry/J he always comes back-(I'm sorry)
And the last topic of the evening
Link.
I have
Thoughts
Uhm
Ok less about link I love him but like the fact he's so chill about the fact he doesn't have a arm and now has the arm of a furry might say smt.
But at least in BOTW impa is like 'hey you sure your ready to take on what's next and save hyrule' but now it's like 'fucker go do this this and this and go look at the funny ass paintings on the ground' like. Damn ok. ;-;
I can't tell you how much I stalled playing totk. I had such a hard time finishing regional phenomenon. It just- wasn't fun. I knew what to expect, and what was going to happen. So. Yeah.
But I did really like Rito Village. And gorons town. They basically got addicted to drugs and I am ALL FOR IT (not drugs. Don't do drugs) but the Zora's felt... Boring. I mean they felt boring in botw but it got worse. Personally I thought the gerudo were the most boring in botw which is saying something because I got to sneak through the yiga hide out and Rob Kogha. But the zora felt- basic like. Yeah. At least everything else caused you damage or made things harder- the shroud made navigation hard, snow caused damage, the meat roast made conversion harder
But the zora? The sludge just- made you slower??? Idk man.
And omg. Do Sidon and yona make me mad. YEAH, HATE ME FOR IT SIDON FANS!! like people hate yona bc she's engaged to sidon. Personally I dislike them both. Like- Sidon lost the spark that made him- him! And yona- yona is just annoying. Like fuck off mipha copy.
And oh my hylia the MUCKDROCK- I hate it. No. No I loath it. Like what the fuck are you your fucking shrimp.
And it's fight wasn't even that hard. It was just annoying. Like- colagara in my opinion was the easiest, but it was super fun. But the muchdrock? He sucked.
Also btw- before the wrap up, has anyone found the smoldering coliseum and got zants helm??? Just me? Ok :') apparently it's the ice verison of the thunder helm. Now I think there is a fire one.. hmMmmm
Anyway! That wraps up the ramble!
The biggest reality check is when you're watching a dubbed version of a later movie of Your Hot Guy™ and they assigned him an old grandpa voice...
Omg The Hot Touch is such a good movie though, Wayne-wise?!?!? ....Speaking of media always coming to you at the right time
*ahems*
So apparently everyone when listening to howdy got *AHEM* and I quote 'howdy has rizz' 'howdys the rizzler bro' 'howdy is probably the one that flirts the most lol'
While I got sassy and passive aggressive. I mean did you fuggin hear how he was to Eddie in that one audio if that's not sassy and passive aggressive I don't know what is
I let my mind wander and now Ive associated Howdy with the damn Flim Flam Brothers from My Little Pony... Brain what the fuck-
oh for fucks sake.
MORE TOTK RAMBLES BECAUSE I HAVE A PROBLEM.
cw: totk spoilers!
*also please note if you commented on the last one, i knew most of those things, it just still didnt make sense to me <3*
*KICKS BEETLE INTO A STABLE* SO.
hylIA.
DO. I . HAVE. THOUGHTS.
more of them.
i really wanna touch more about zelda, and the memories we see.
lets talk about the first memory, 'where am i'.
zelda gets transported to a hyrule from 10,000 years in the past, from the secret stone that rarau drops, which amplifies you major power. she meets sonia and rarau. ok, sure this makes sense.
now lets talk about a show of fatality (fuck spelling)
how the fuck does zelda not notice that 'Ganondorf' has 'Ganon' in it. like. "i feel this man has many dark intentions. even his name gives me pause' NO SHIT ZELDA!!! if you use comon sense youd be able ot deduct that this was the mfing calamity that you kept at bay for 100 years. omG. i think the time jump messed with her brain
now lets talk about zelda becoming a dragon. this was truly something sad to me because once you pull the master sword, she now longer has purpose, and now flys over hyrule aimlessly. AND THEN MFING KING GOAT SOMEHOW CAN CHANGE HER BACK?!? WHAT. THEY DONT EXPLAIN THIS?? and dont be light "well he has they power of light blah blah blah" I KNOW. it still doesnt make sense?!? to become a imortal dragon is to loose ones self is established, and it really creates a emotional turbulence for the player and zelda.
now this is coming from someone who adores tragedy, but there was so much potential in keeping Zelda a dragon. yes it would be a sad ending but it would give something.. good i suppose, to t he story.
yrs much smaller rant but still.
Hear me out: a Mash detective/film noir AU with Hawkeye and Trapper having a private detective agency together. (Because if you take them out of that war setting but let them keep their dynamic they totally have the vibe for that) And the others take on all kinds of roles from pathetic client (looking at you Frank or maybe even Henry) to extremely cunning gang leader (e.g. Freedman with all his psychological knowledge or Father Mulcahy for an unexpected twist), the possibilities are endless... It could be either one big story or like a series with a new case in every chapter. And the cases could even be influenced by the real happenings from the episodes (like black market, stolen desk, whatever...)
Theory time
So I've been thing about this for a while, and I've come up with a theory (based a bit on @paper-starz's portal theory) but here's my idea
So everyone assumes Wally is the only aware one, right? But what if he's not, he's just.. the most aware of everyone, you know? But the others are aware too.
Now your probably thinking "Dotty what do you mean by that? Evidence points at only Wally being aware" and here my friend, here's why I think that
In the interview audio, Wally is talking to the interviewer, talking about the show! Barnaby later comes in, acting as if this is normal. As if he already knew. He likely also heard what they were saying before he got out on stage, or even he was already on stage we just didn't hear him till Wally introduced him. The interviewer is also implied to be human, mostly by the voice being a more.. natural human voice rather than a puppets
Now onto where Paper's portal theory comes into play. Paper used a metaphor of sorts, saying something along the lines of a whole puppet coming through. And my friends, here's the idea
As we know, the lovely neighborhood of home is going to slowly get more and more... distorted (as said by clown himself) likely due to the shows shut down. My idea is that Wally (and or home) are trying to get people to realize their existence again so they can get out. So they can escape their crippling world, and know they'll be ok in the new one (hence the WHPC) Will they be alive? Unsure.
Another thing I thing I wish to point out is apples. Yes. You heart that right. Apples. Apples are believed to be the fruit forbidden in the garden of Eden in Genesis. The one that Satan tempted Eve and Adam with. The one that was believed to give them knowledge of sorts. And I'm pretty damn sure everyone in the neighborhood has eaten a damn apple so this kinda fuels my "everyone is aware" theory.
Anyway I'm done time to continue watching fusionzgamer play the ruin dlc baiiiiii~
