#double nope

[doulayogimama]

Tip toeing into our room (where Sky sleeps too) so I can grab my coffee cup when I hear a freaking avalanche on the side of the house

My tired Miami brain caught on slowly and literally my first thought was “something crashed into the house” 😆

[disneyprincessmodelworld]

LA chronicles: birds the word.

So...... Make it back to LA.

Jack sparrow picks A and I up. Head out.

We singing we jamming.

I should mention I wanted to veggie out and read so I turned my phone off.

Apparently i never turned it back on.

Pull up in the neighborhood. Get to the house. Get though the Gate. Hop out.

Pick up the bags to walk, A grabs the rest. Cut through the car port to head to the side door when......

*swoop swoop ping ping ping*

I

N

S

T

A

N

T

Screaming you all. Like a banshee.

*ping ping swoop"

Jack sparrow jumps back out his car, runs over, literally picks me up.

Or tries to...... as I'm swinging my backpack whacky whack where ever I can get cause why the fuck is this man trying to put me up in the air closer to the flying rat of death right????

Yo.. Remember that fucking bird and her nest from last year? Damn if that heifer didn't come back and build a nest in the same spot.

Whelp let me tell you. I just got a new car and that sucker will be sitting in that carport until that damn monster is gone.

L comes running around from the front of the house.

L: dammit didn't you get my text? I left you VMS and texts.

A: she turned off her phone. I didn't check my messages.

L: I tried to warn you about the bird.

Me: I talked to you last night you didn't say a damn thing.

L: I figured you wouldn't get on the plane if I said it was back.

Me: damn straight.

A: hey where you going???

Me: hotel. Room service, cocktails,no flying rats of death.

Jack sparrow: dude its never boring around here.

L: *sighs*

----------------

Whatever they got me in the house. But I swear I can hear the monster tweeting my name. Those flying plague machines better hatch and learn to fly quick.

😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

[xhwitchy]

“I can’t..-- There’s nothing, Nolan.” She repeated for what felt like the hundredth time in as little as a single hour, pouring themselves out over the locator spell. “He’s not showing up, no matter what we do.. He’s just..---”

@nolanchase

[rivertalesien]

I want you all to know, I will never, ever, ever, force anyone to pay to read one of my long-ass run-on blabber waffles.

You can ignore it or dunk on it all absolutely free forever. PROMISE.

[magickbrew]

     “If you don’t give it back, I’m gonna beat you with this broom”

[1-800-thebees]

When they ask you to switch off heals to go Sombra and you end up destroying the enemy team 😤

[dreamingofmidnight]

Oh no...

RELEVANT PERSON TRACKER WHY DID YOU DO THAT

NOW SAMARITAN IS GOING TO FIND SHAW

[garbageisland]

Is there an online checklist for signs that you’re ready to quit your job? That probably exists, right?