Tell me more about Odysseus (ㆁᴗㆁ ✿)
i prefer my odysseus to real odysseus idk why
click for more modern greeks
Odysseus is what Agamemnon likes to call “A Giant A-Hole” because Agamemnon is under the impression that he is actually witty. Odysseus is asexual, aromantic, agender, autistic, and a Capricorn. They really don’t care.
They are best friends with Diomedes, and have a grudging relationship with Achilles and Agamemnon which consists mostly of them calling the two out on when they’re being really, really dumb.
They also have the most beautiful, pretty, stunning, funny, lovely queerplatonic girlfriend.
(“Dude,” Achilles tells them, laughing with half a mouth filled with Sprite. “You are so fucking whipped!”
"I am not,” they protest, crossing their arms over their chest. “I just really care for her. Shut up. Stop laughing. Stop laughing right now, Achilles Peleides, otherwise I tell Patroclus about that time you went crossdressing for a month. Yeah. You’d better run.”)
Odysseus is quick with a rapier and even quicker with their mouth. They often freak out their opponent before the fencing match begins, sending barbed insults so subtle that their opponent ends up crying over their breakfast cereal the following morning.
They’re absolutely terrible at recognising body language, one of the side effects of their autism, as well as an incredibly low tolerance for spicy foods. Persephone always makes sure that she makes milder curries for them, cooking up gorgeous plates of lamb soup and sweet korma for dinners.
(“Odysseus? Ody, are you alright?”
"It’s. Uh. It’s kinda fuckin’ loud in here, isn’t it?"
"It’s a club, Odysseus. Of course it’ll be loud." Diomedes’ voice is distorted in the pulsating music, barely recognisable, and his face blurs into the blues and greens of the lighting. "Hey, man, are you feelin’ alright? You look a little peaky.")
Even though they’re unable to eat spicy foods, they’re incredibly good at cooking them. Odysseus adores cooking from their Mexican heritage, and Diomedes can be won over instantly with an offer of their chimichangas. One time, Athena invited both Penelope and Odysseus to her potluck birthday, and the evening was filled with forktines clashing as people fought it out for the quesadillas and the mutton curry. (And Achilles crying because he had accidentally eaten the mutton curry, and had to be force-fed water by Patroclus for the rest of the evening.)