#dr malcom

[vicodinvindication]

“… Is that a snake in your jumper…”

- l0renzattractor

“ Yea. His name is Oil Spill. Specifically Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill (2010). Why? He’s cold. “

@l0renzattractor

[thebidoctors]

ian cooks excellently and extravagantly but for fun, and when hes not in the mood its microwave meals all the way. ellie cooks staples very well. simple but gorgeous. the most addictive lasagna you'll ever see. and alan??? alan can cook well when he has a detailed recipe and if he doesn't get The Sensory Ick while doing it

[vicodinvindication]

HALCOM CRACKSHIP HEADCANONS!!!

@l0renzattractor has made me ridiculously obsessed with this stupid ship with these two…they’ve kind of rotted into my brain so I’m indoctrinating everyone on this blog

- House’s favorite thing ever to do is take Ian’s necklace and wear it and then act like he has no idea where it is despite it very clearly being worn. He acts completely dumbfounded by the idea that he could be wearing it. He’ll then take it off, put it on the counter and be like ‘oh wow there it is. How’d you not see it? You need a physical.’

- House is NOT use to being shorter than someone. So he’s always accidentally looking down before realizing after an embarrassingly long time he’s been talking at his chest rather than face to face.

Ian teases him about his me thinks. Says something like ‘is my so called male hookerness really that impactful?’ And House wants to maul him to death

- They are ALWAYS using their canes to get at each other. House hooks the top part around Ian’s belt to pull him closer or get his attention? Ian uses his and runs it along House’s leg in response. Cane flirting.

- Their idea of a date night is almost never going out to dinner. It feels kind of fake and plastic and they much rather do something like build Lego’s or have a google slides presentation night on something they’re interested in.

- Always taking care of each other…I am not worthy or capable of taking care of myself but let me do it for you. They bring out the softer sides of each other, especially House. His words are sharp and most often playful jabs but his hands are careful and precise with whatever he’s doing

They are ALWAYS giving each others scars/wounded areas attention. Both of them having the same sort of leg damage allows them to know exactly what the other needs because they themself need it.

- Ian cannot cook very well except for like. Basic things like eggs or pancakes, so House is usually cooking for them when they do have dinner together. House however NEVER wants to get up first so I think Ian sometimes attempts to make something. Doesn’t always go well and House teases him for it but he’s always very endeared anyway and more often than not eats whatever he made.

- They’re always giving each other random shit. Ian is like a crow or raven and House is like a Rat. Both weird animals that collect and give each other things. House thrifts a lot so I think he always has a random amount of things at any given time that he can just give people. Since Ian travels a lot it’s usually stuff he picks up or finds during those.

- House calls EVERYTHING chaos theory because Ian takes it very seriously and he loves getting that kind of reaction out of him. Jokingly or in a more serious moment. Like they just kissed or something and he’ll be like ‘how chaotic was that’.

- They both really like music! One of their favorite bonding activities is probably learning music together whether it’s learning a new song or teaching the other how to play a certain instrument. Ian is best at piano so House often plays guitar.

[vicodinvindication]

Thoughts on that chaotician guy all over the news, Dr. Malcolm?

He’s weird. Witty and charning in a way that most people aren’t. Clearly smart, good conviction, a lot more tolerable than most of the people I come across everyday. He could lighten up a bit, but overall positive feelings I guess. Very fun man to annoy and interesting—I suppose that comes with the whole—alligator—attack.

[hannahisenman]

God what did I do to deserve this?

[ingeniousnonsense]

Someone took Jeff Goldblum's laugh from Jurassic Park and made it into a song. 

[dracomysunshinechild]

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

Dr Ian Malcom