For the fake-dating game: it's tempting to ask for Akai and Rei, because I'd be curious to see how you'd do it without it setting the stage for them actually getting together, but if you don't want to try that, I give you, instead, Rei and Yamamura. :) Good luck?
It's incredibly hard for me to do AkAm because 1) I view them through blood-red shipping goggles and 2) everything under the sun has already been done for them (both AkAm and honestly most other configurations of the ship tbh). But what I think would be fun is the following double-whammy of fake dating (for stalking purposes) -> fake dating (for easy access. Uh. Perhaps I could have phrased that better)
(but I'm tired. I hope you can still tell what I'm trying to get at)
(I would love to do Yamamura and Rei, but this is already too long again, so.)
Ask meme here
Fake Dating, OkiAmu edition:
Akai Shuuichi has a problem. Well. That's technically inaccurate. Akai Shuuichi has three problems, actually.
Problem #1: he is supposed to be dead.
Problem #2: he has an angry stalker who wants to rectify the "supposed" part in problem #1.
Problem #3: he has a really, really nosy sister. And that sister, somehow, has even nosier friends. That happen to like the type of "mysterious Holmes nerd", unfortunately.
So, actually, there is a fourth problem.
Problem #4: at least one of these teen girls - Sonoko might be her name? - is lowkey crushing on him, which results in the whole gaggle's attention being pointed right at him.
Attention, for a secret agent, is a bad thing.
.
Furuya Rei has many, many problems, only one of which he wishes to address at present.
Said problem?
The existence of Akai fucking Shuuichi. And the fact that he can't prove it, but he knows it in his bones, feels it in his gut, sees the truth whenever he watches that video Vermouth sent him: Akai Shuuichi isn't dead.
He can't be dead. Those shots were too simple and too clean.
Akai Shuuichi would not go down without a fight.
Which is good, because it gives Rei an opportunity to take revenge himself - after all, who could blame him for killing a dead man? - but also bad. Because Akai has disappeared without a trace.
So now, Rei is stuck picking at loose ends; Akai's FBI colleagues, his nosy little sister.
Actually. Sera is almost as bad as her brother. It seems ruining Rei's day runs in their blood, or is their family creed, or something. She, too, is too sharp for her own good, recognising him even though she last saw him when she was still a child.
Stupid Akais and their stupid perception.
This is bad. He has to stop her from stalking him, or he won't be able to stalk the personification of the colour beige that whisks away the dust in the Kudo manor library like some sort of live-in maid.
If only he could get alone time with Okiya... Rei is sure he must be Akai's cover identity. The timing of his appearance is too convenient, and his records are too bare.
Besides, there's the most damning piece of evidence: Rei has met the man's eyes across the room, once, when he had been dressed up as his ghost. The same prickly feeling of staring down an apex predator had crept up his spine, set the hairs at his neck on end.
Perhaps Akai Shuuichi was hiding, but Rye had been right there.
Unfortunately, a gut feeling is not admissible in court. Not that Rei wants a court of law to handle this. This is personal, and he will be judge, jury, and executioner.
All he needs is some alone time with Okiya Subaru, so he can drag down that turtleneck and claw at the truth hidden beneath.
Unfortunately, Akai is too clever to let him get close. Ever careful, ever vigilant - this is why Kir could never kill him.
Akai is just too good.
.
Or maybe not.
"Come again?", Rei says, barely able to layer Amuro's mild confusion over the elation he feels. He blinks.
Perhaps Christmas does come early. Or maybe hell is freezing over.
"I said", Okiya repeats, standing way-too-close for comfort - Akai could kill a man easily, at this range - "I'd like us to pretend to date."
It's a golden opportunity, Rei knows. If he gets Okiya in private, it's game over for Akai. He just needs to get close enough.
Still, he can't jump at the opportunity. For one, because he doesn't want to appear desperate, and also, because he has Amuro's reputation to consider. It will be bad publicity for the café if their most popular worker starts dating - and a man, no less. Rei knows he gets away with a lot of things that could be considered harassment, if not for his charms; he can't risk the extra scrutiny, not without good reason.
"Why should I go along with this?," he asks, never letting Akai have it easy.
Okiya smiles, the fox-like smile that hides his teeth. It doesn't reach his eyes, and Rei is left to wonder if anything ever does. Or if he can't do anything but squint, because his sharp-glass eyes would shatter the illusion of Okiya's peace immediately?
"It seems the girls have gotten it into their heads that I have a crush on you," Okiya explains. "While matchmaking is a slightly better use of their time than flirting with me, I would really rather they occupy themselves otherwise."
Okiya blinks open a single eye, lazy like a cat. Stormy grey pierces into Rei, seeing too much as always. "They've been bothering you too, right? The easiest solution, as far as I can see, is to give them what they want."
"Except," Rei follows Rye's train of thought easily, can't stop the grin from slipping into place where it belongs, "they don't know what they're asking for. As soon as something serious would happen, they will blush and run away."
Okiya nods, small and satisfied. "And we will get our privacy back."
It's a reasonable plan. The girls certainly need a dampener on their obsessive desires to matchmake. One he'll gladly serve.
Besides, if he plays his cards right, it will provide him with the access to Okiya that he's wanted for a while now.
"You are aware we might have to give them a bit of a show," Rei asks, slowly, returning the challenge Rye presented him with in as many words.
The grin Akai gives back in response is positively creepy. "I'm counting on it."
He is hiding something, and for a moment, there's dread in Rei's stomach, and images in his head - of a night he'd rather forget, but is forced to remember.
He might regret this. But it's too late to back out now.
It's a job, and he will perform it to his usual standard of excellence.
.
Working with Rye, and Rei is sure it is him, now - he can smell the smoke in his hair, taste the bourbon in his breath - is frustrating as always.
Not because Rye isn't sticking to his end of the deal - he's certainly providing a show that keeps the girls at bay, alright.
Only, it seems to be because the girls are convinced that if they don't give the two of them space, nothing will ever happen beyond meaningful glances, and shy touches.
One time, Okiya kissed Amuro on the cheek. In response, Sonoko fainted, and the rest of the girls had to carry her out of the café so she could rest upstairs in the detective agency.
Somehow, despite being played by Rye, a terrible actor and outright vile human being, Okiya Subaru has the sensibilities of a Victorian maiden.
It's giving Rei a headache.
.
After two months, he's no closer to confirming Akai's secret.
He knows all about Okiya's studies, about the philosophy that drives him; his love for mystery and his affection for curry.
Information that is utterly useless to Rei.
If it weren't for his hands and face, Rei would think Okiya is deathly allergic to sunlight, covered up to his neck in cloth. Yes, even his ankles. Rei checked. Thrice.
Okiya has allowed Amuro to escort him 'home', to the Kudo manor, but not asked him to come inside because that would be 'improper'.
The words "Amuro-san, I'm saving myself for marriage," have even left Okiya's mouth once, when Rei tried to flirt a little more aggressively.
In a way, it is hilarious to imagine Rye saying these things, and Rei can feel the irritation simmer down the longer he's exposed to the faux grad-student. Which brings his blood pressure right back up again, because as fun and headache-inducing as their little game has been, it's still Akai Shuuichi he's thinking about.
And he can't ever forgive the man for what he's done.
.
One night, he grabs his men and forces his way inside the Kudo manor, past his 'date'. He has enough circumstantial evidence; all he needs is a confession, or irrefutable proof.
Cold despair grips his heart when he inspects Okiya's neck, and there is no voice changing device. Who did he play games with, all this time? Is Okiya really just a normal person?
Akai's voice over the phone barely registers. The confirmation he's alive is nice; it means he can be brought to justice. But still, the fact he's slipped away again feels like yet another time he has failed Hiro.
.
He goes home, drinks and stares at his laptop, as if his friends could tell him the answers he is looking for. They stay quiet, as always, no longer able to share their insights.
.
He doesn't bother answering Okiya's calls for the next few days.
.
After the forced entry, and the forced touching, Rei expects Okiya to flinch away.
Victorian sensibilities, and all.
But he just keeps acting as usual.
At this point, Rei wonders why they're keeping up the charade; the girls have mostly moved on to more fruitful targets for their matchmaking, bored by the slow progress of the fake relationship.
It's all an act anyways, so what's the point in clinging to it? It takes so much time and energy to keep it up, and Rei is running out of both.
Okiya takes his hand and squeezes it. The girls coo.
It might be time to call this whole thing off. He can't be bothering a civilian.
.
Rei has taken to sleeping in his car in front of the Kudo manor.
In a way, it's one of the few places he can still sleep. Watched over by Okiya, he will probably be fine.
He's not missing out on anything, either. It's not like Akai will ever let him see anything he isn't supposed to.
.
Okiya favours his left hand.
The silhouette of a man with a gun in the window of the Kudo manor.
Is it a slip-up, or an invitation?
It doesn't matter anymore.
This time, Rei goes alone; the embarrassment last time was too much, and this is too personal. They have a score to settle, an old betrayal.
He wasn't wrong.
He was right all along.
.
They should really stop 'dating' after the tea party.
There's no point. He's gotten his answers out of Akai, after all this time. They weren't what he wanted to hear, but it's about as truthful as he can expect Akai Shuuichi to be. There is no more need to stalk him.
The asshole managed to wear him down enough, with his proximity, to cool down the bloodlust and make Rei see reason.
He's willing to relay the Kudo's proposal to Kuroda. It leaves Rei empty, to think about the end of their cat and mouse game. No more rage or huntsman's joy.
Akai has won.
Perhaps it is for the best. The hatred fueled him for long enough; by now, he's running empty.
Dating Okiya is one job he can lay to rest, at least.
Perhaps that will reduce his workload.
.
When he works up the nerve to 'break up' with Okiya, and meets the man after work with a terse "we need to talk", Akai interrupts his plan by casually hands him an engagement ring, and a key to the Kudo mansion.
There is no fanfare, no crackling of emotion between them.
No proposal, other than: "If we are going to work together, you should have a key. And a reason to spend the night, given our established personas."
And it makes sense; after spending so long to establish this fake relationship, to throw it away now would be foolish, and suspicious.
If they are fiancées, nobody will blink an eye if they disappear for a moment, or whisper privately. It is the perfect cover to exchange confidential information.
Rei wonders for just how long Akai and the Kudos have planned this.
If there is a way out.
If he wants one.
"Don't become a liability," is all he says to Akai, and goes back to work.